Pizza etiquette

Exactly. They are Lousy hosts and your DH is being spineless on this one.

If my DC complained about my food I can't imagine forcing them to eat it.
We often do the bases and they add their own toppings, they love it.

How would PILs like it if you insisted on which toppings they could have? It would be a different matter if they actually knew how to cook!

i had a pizza recently in a so called pizza restaurant with oven etc and it wasn't cooked through .... it was literally raw dough on one side . Horrible and as DH knows, I never turn down food so it must have been bad. I've also had some where the veg on top was raw... Also unpleasant... I feel for you on the food basis alone

Also. you mentioned passata? So they just used something like tinned or bottled passata... and that's it? They know nothing.

but the In laws.. are another matter again.

If DH won't speak up, you have nothing to lose by speaking up yourself. Trying not to rock the boat further isn't getting you anywhere.
I'd be saying, could you please reheat this... and I'd actually bring my own toppings ((olives and basil leaves ) which don't even need cooking and calmly put them on.
Push back.. every time. Say calmly in a civil tone "I wouldn't dream of mocking you for your pineapple and blood sausage toppings (or whatever), so please stop making such a fuss over a plain pizza. I'm not asking you to eat it.!" Smile merrily and don't give a second damn about what they think.
They need to know that you wont meekly accept every rude thing they say or you make yourself an easy target, they can kick without any come back, they will think they have a free rein to carry on doing it.
Polite calm push back. contradicting what they say or just saying "How rude, are you feeling OK?" calls attention to what they are doing and will make them think twice. From this and your other post I think you have nothing to lose. Plus if they start kicking off... let them... let your DH see it... remain calm. I used to keep a spare set of car keys in my bag so that I could make an exit if things got more unbearable than usual. I never used them, but it gave me so much confidence that I could if I needed to.
they are bullies.

“They say the test of a pizza maker is their Margarita and yours was fantastic MIL/FIL, can I have that again this time.”

If you 'have' to go, I'd just try to have a thicker skin where they're concerned. Let them think and imply that you're the odd one, because you know that back in the real world you're the sane one and they're just being inconsiderate hosts. If they don't want to make a 'special' pizza for you, I'd consider bringing my own food instead, or possibly a contribution to the meal (which I would then eat instead of the soggy pizza). I'm sure they'd think that's horrible too, but so what? We're allowed to do things that are slightly different from the norm, especially when dealing with others who have weird behaviours of their own that are affecting us negatively.

They're idiots and poor hosts. Boo to them for making a bid deal of it.

I must admit I tend to make 2-3 different pizzas to share rather than making them to order, it’s just simpler. I wouldn’t serve margarita because it seems boring. My dsd and one of my DD’s are fussy but I say just take it off and eventually they started eating said vegetables!

each to their own

Yanbu there is no point doing home made pizza if you aren't going to give each person a choice of what they want. I like veg on pizza only if it's pre-cooked beforehand so I will sauté some mushrooms and pop some peppers in the airfryer as part of prepping a buffet of potential toppings. How weird to do a "special pizza" only for one guest rather than that being the default that each person gets a pizza they like.

Not unreasonable at all to choose your own pizza toppings. Don’t fancy uncooked veg and soggy base myself so yes I would ask for plain dough as well (but only if I could dip it into some mayonnaise). I think I would tell them straight or lie and say I’m not hungry.

Pineapple and Ham is a NO from me. 🤮

I hate folk who are unreasonable arseholes who can't fathom other people's point of view.You wouldn't make sandwiches and put random fillings in them and expect them to suit everyone. What's the point of menus, ffs?

What I find puzzling about this is that someone would invest in a pizza oven when they are so spectacularly incompetent at making pizza. And then persist in being so bad at it, despite the tools to hand.

precooked onions sweated down till they are soft and golden are fabulous on pizza and no sog. I agree with your DH about putting raw onion on.

tell your DH!

I 'd hate veggies on a pizza - i'm a pepperoni and jalapeño gal

My DH and I fun argue about pizza all the time, I love onions but DH says they make a pizza soggy. I’m happy to not have them if we’re sharing but have them if it’s my own pizza. We’re never serious about it, it’s just one of those silly things. Being put out or getting weird about pizza toppings is just bizarre, who cares that much? Maybe they thought you’d want more of the available cheese, as that’s all you wanted, geez, I don’t know, it’s weird!

If you asked for some obscure posh toppings they clearly didn't have then I get it being annoying. But you should definitely be able to choose from what they do have. And if it's just got cheese on it how can that be special or unusual?

You should be honest and say I think you should cut your veg thinner as thicker can make them soggy. It's the truth. You don't need to say it in a rude way.

i am imagining huge chunks of aubergine that i would pick off and throw at someone if it came in my direction...

While I'm here: anchovies on a spicy pizza are heaven (and i generally don't like anchovies)

I love a plain pizza with pineapple (no ham)

i have a friend with a pizza oven, he introduced us to one that had mortadella slices on it, drizzled with pistachio sauce and it was heaven...

I suppose you could argue if they're buying you a pizza you should be grateful and suck it up. I disagree though. It IS polite to ask what people would like!

Look, if you're not prepared to make a change, you just have to suck it up and stop moaning.

But I cannot understand why you won't just have a conversation with DH: "I thought perhaps we could have a similar arrangement with your parents as with mine" or "Actually I was going to go to the gym tonight" and when he tries to put it off until you're free then reference your parents "Don't be daft - I see my parents plenty without you, you can do the same" etc

Anchovies as a topping are becoming rare. I always have to pay more for them as an 'extra' and sometimes they aren't even available! A pizza without anchovies and a few black olives isn't worth eating.

I don't think she sounds fussy. Undercooked chunks of vegetable sound horrible and I say that as a veggie who loves vegetables on pizza. I think she's trying not to be demanding by not asking for any additional ingredients, just asking for some not to be added.

Exactly

Then you have a DH problem.

Tell him what you want/don't want to do, and then do that.

"I don't like going so often to your parents, it's too much and they're not that nice. They are your parents, and now you must go on your own with/without the kids as a rule and I will join you three times a year, as you do with mine."

I’d get a burger 🍔 on the way there and refuse the pizza 🍕 😝

I know it’s not the point of the thread but I really want a pizza oven now. I’m off to google them….

I have a pizza oven. I always make a wide selection of toppings available. We do put each pizza on the table to share, but I always ask people what they'd like on the next one, so everyone gets a say. Your PILs are a bit weird and not very hospitable. You do sound like a fussy eater though, if you literally only like a plain cheese and tomato pizza, regardless of any other topping available. I'd have thought they'd be used to your limited eating preferences by now.

Do they force their preferences on your kids too? I wouldn't put up with it