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Pizza etiquette

153 replies

firstofallimadelight · 13/04/2026 08:12

In-laws bought a pizza oven last year so almost every visit now involves pizza. I do like pizza but only really margarita. Ils put thick chunks of veg on their pizzas that don’t cook and shield the dough underneath so you end up with soggy pizza. They also dont ask what toppings people want. This time I said could one pizza be plain and they looked at me like I had two heads!! They did make it but then made a deal of handing me my ‘special’ pizza (I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one who would have preferred it!)
I think pizza is like sandwiches people should get a say in what they want.
Dh thinks it’s weird to request a pizza topping (and clearly so do mil and fil)

am I unreasonable to ask for a specific topping?

OP posts:
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Pollymollydolly · 13/08/2026 08:16

SoJaunty · 13/04/2026 13:22

They have served OP something they like to eat and regard as a nice meal, with no reason to think OP won't enjoy it too - a kind and hospitable thing to do for the OP.

It isn't quite to OP's taste. She's not allergic, it's not a meat pizza and she's vegan, she doesn't have a lifelong loathing of pizza and wouldn't eat if if it was the last meal in the world. She simply doesn't much like the toppings or the fact they make the base soggy.

She asks for something different, effectively (whether said out loud or not) finding fault with their hospitality. They are probably either offended or hurt or both.

Nonetheless they comply with her request, but they make a point of handing her her 'special pizza' - we don't know exactly what form this took, whether jocular or huffy - whatever, ideally they should have concealed their feelings, but OP struck the first blow here.

OP was impolite, plain and simple. If someone takes the trouble to host you and cook for you, you should eat what you are given unless it's genuinely impossible.

But we are losing sight of consideration for others' feelings nowadays, it's always 'me me me' and stuff what impact there might be on others, we daren't eat a meal that's not restaurant quality or instagram perfect, that might mean putting up with a little discomfort, and that would never do.

That’s strange reasoning. When I am the host it is my job to be considerate of my guests and consider their comfort including accommodating their dietary requirements, likes and dislikes. I would be upset to think somebody had eaten something they didn’t like so as not to hurt my feelings - why would it possibly hurt my feelings that they don’t like mushrooms for example? I think it is very ‘me, me’ me’ to impose your own personal preferences on meals that can easily be adapted to personal preferences - like insisting on serving steak rare to somebody who only likes meat well done, and pizza obviously falls into this category as easy to leave toppings off or add others.

chaosmaker · 13/08/2026 07:59

Coconutter24 · 12/08/2026 20:45

How would that help?

Hooefully they'd be enthused about their new gadget and stop foisting uncooked pizza on you.

Coconutter24 · 12/08/2026 20:45

chaosmaker · 12/08/2026 12:21

Buy them an air fryer :p

How would that help?

ToadRage · 12/08/2026 20:35

DIY pizzas were the done thing in our family we didn't all like the same thing so my Dad would put out the bases and all the sauce and toppings were on the table so we could help ourselves and choose whatever we wanted.

Namechange26andabit · 12/08/2026 18:53

I had pineapple on pizza in Italy 😋

chaosmaker · 12/08/2026 12:21

Buy them an air fryer :p

Bobloblawww · 14/04/2026 10:10

The fun of a pizza party is getting creative! Your ILs sound very strange.

Emmz1510 · 14/04/2026 10:06

Of course not unreasonable! Anywhere you can buy pizza you get a choice of toppings. And margherita is literally the easiest pizza. I don’t like big chunks of veg on my pizza either.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 14/04/2026 07:04

FreddysFingers · 13/04/2026 21:40

Pineapple and ham on pizza is gross 🤣🤣

Gross to you....

Pizza Pineapple GIF by BuzzFeed
Oddgain · 14/04/2026 06:25

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FreddysFingers · 13/04/2026 21:40

InterestedDad37 · 13/04/2026 08:18

Can we have a 'pineapple on pizza' side-debate? 🍕 🍍
Ham + pineapple = 😋
But I have Italian friends for whom this is as bad as insulting their grandmother (which I don't do, obvs 👍)

Pineapple and ham on pizza is gross 🤣🤣

firstofallimadelight · 13/04/2026 21:37

Monty36 · 13/04/2026 16:10

No you aren’t being unreasonable to want a different topping.
You are being unreasonable by your attitude to your in laws. Who very kindly were cooking pizzas for you all. Your mocking tone of their efforts belies someone who is hard to please and I suspect whatever they did would not have been okay with you.

Just curious can you quote my mocking of the in-laws please?

OP posts:
TeaCupTinsel · 13/04/2026 19:45

We have 'homemade pizza night' each Friday and we each have our own pizza with our own chosen toppings. (Usually we each leave slices left over to eat for lunch the next day!)

You aren't being unreasonable...topping preference is very much personal taste. If we have guests over, they get their own pizza and toppings of their choice.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 13/04/2026 19:20

I'd order a Domino's delivery service ... just saying.

Pineappleice43 · 13/04/2026 19:17

Of course you ask people what toppings they'd like. I'm like you and love a good no fuss cheese and tomato!

BauhausOfEliott · 13/04/2026 17:00

YANBU to request a 'plain' pizza.

YABU to be bothered by your in-laws calling it your 'special pizza'. Who cares? You got the pizza you asked for, so what if they made a joke about it?

fivepastmidnight · 13/04/2026 16:57

SoJaunty · 13/04/2026 16:43

Has anyone ever invited you over to theirs for a meal more than once? 😆

Now you come to mention it, I haven't had many invites😂

Ineffable23 · 13/04/2026 16:49

I quite like a heavily topped pizza but e.g. roasted Mediterranean vegetables need to be roasted before they go on, and ideally need adding half way through unless the oven is one where the pizza is being cooked just as much from the bottom as the top (the wood fired sort usually I think).

Mumtobabyhavoc · 13/04/2026 16:46

FWIW I had such bad reflux when pregnant both times I haven't been able to eat tomato sauce - or even look at it - since.
I make pizza from scratch at home for my kids once or twice a month:
pesto
crab
sun-dried tomatoes, if I have them
bell pepper
spinach or rocket
mixed cheese from a cheese tray I buy in my weekly shop

Tale that you high-brow snobs! 😆

Sesame Street Mic Drop GIF by Muppet Wiki
SoJaunty · 13/04/2026 16:43

fivepastmidnight · 13/04/2026 14:08

This - I would say also add I don't want any of your uncooked veg shit on mine. or ask them when they're going bore off to with their pizza oven. Next time they come to yours say you've got a microwave and serve them a microwave meal - don't ask them what they want just give them anything. if they say anything say here's your special meal here's your special meal.

Has anyone ever invited you over to theirs for a meal more than once? 😆

Mumtobabyhavoc · 13/04/2026 16:37

Heronwatcher · 13/04/2026 09:26

Yes I bloody hate this. BBQ chicken, pulled pork, mince, big bits of flabby chicken all absolutely revolting on pizza. Especially if more than one of the above are included. Should be banned.

The entire contents of a fridge drawer and tinned sweetcorn rippled over a margherita, also revolting.

Any two from the following, peppers, broccoli, asparagus, spinach, onion, chilli, mushrooms plus a nice meat like nduja, pepperoni, pancetta, prosciutto etc with a nice cheese, delicious.

I really think there might be a case for better regulation of pizza toppings for the UK’s own good/ international reputation.

A case, you say?

GIF by South Park
Monty36 · 13/04/2026 16:10

No you aren’t being unreasonable to want a different topping.
You are being unreasonable by your attitude to your in laws. Who very kindly were cooking pizzas for you all. Your mocking tone of their efforts belies someone who is hard to please and I suspect whatever they did would not have been okay with you.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 13/04/2026 15:46

Heronwatcher · 13/04/2026 09:26

Yes I bloody hate this. BBQ chicken, pulled pork, mince, big bits of flabby chicken all absolutely revolting on pizza. Especially if more than one of the above are included. Should be banned.

The entire contents of a fridge drawer and tinned sweetcorn rippled over a margherita, also revolting.

Any two from the following, peppers, broccoli, asparagus, spinach, onion, chilli, mushrooms plus a nice meat like nduja, pepperoni, pancetta, prosciutto etc with a nice cheese, delicious.

I really think there might be a case for better regulation of pizza toppings for the UK’s own good/ international reputation.

Not sure I can concur on there being a place for broccoli on a pizza, but I totally agree with you about what shouldn't be on it, especially the chicken, and especially when it comes in the form of sickly sweet BBQ chicken, or (urrgh) chicken tikka. 😱And too much of anything on a pizza is wrong. It just becomes a giant, hot, steaming sandwich of random leftovers.

Thin and crispy base, simple classic toppings in specific combinations. No nonsense. If they don't do it in Italy then it shouldn't be done.

Isthisright220 · 13/04/2026 15:44

I think it’s rude to ask but also rude to not ask about special preferences.

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