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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I come from a Romany gypsy & Irish traveller family. General chat…

184 replies

TT0107 · 11/04/2026 23:31

Just as the title suggests. I’ve noticed how travellers have become more accepted and tbh a bit idolised over social media (The people who are watching and liking those particular videos). Anyway my mum was raised in a horse drawn wagon moving around, my dad moved around with horses too but was staying in trailers (Caravans). Dad is Irish and mum is Romany. I don’t really interact with people nowadays and no matter the ordinary life I live I still feel deep inside that I’m just different no matter what. Not in a bad way, just that the way I was raised will always be there. My youngest child is mixed race, her father being black and my dad has never met her and has no interest to. I guess I went against the grain although to be quite honest my mother raised me very very well. Respect was always standard there was no time for disrespectful children when it came to my mum. I’d never walk into someone’s home with shoes on. Never help myself to food or drink. Never just get up and use the toilet without asking. Don’t touch anything, ornaments and anything tbh wasn’t to be touched by children. Don’t dare use the show plates. My mum never allowed anyone in her place ever. She had a hate for anyone who drank or smoked, well til this day you’d never see her sitting or standing with anyone drinking or smoking. I wasn’t allowed to go round friends houses as a child or teenager apart from 1 girl who only had a mother and sisters at home. This is just a light hearted chat if anyone wants to contribute. My mum never went to school as a child so therefore couldn’t read or write but she’s taught herself little bits along the way. She ended up with my stepdad over 30 years ago now who has provided her a lifestyle most can only dream off. Her life up until a few years back was just horses and cleaning the home. I do feel that the way my mum raised me has made me a very over protective person which I’m glad about. My mum would never steal from anybody (Just addressing the stereotype), she’s a very holy woman and even if she didn’t have a pound to her name and she saw someone unknowingly drop money she’d stop and hand it back to them. I’m a carer by job and everyone I visit and care for i can guarantee nothing, absolutely nothing will be trivialised with me. I do take extra time and effort to do the little things for these people and I care for them as if they were my own family and if I ever saw or heard anything untoward whether from their family member or even other staff carers I would take it upon myself to protect and I wouldn’t stop until something was done. (That should be standard for all carers but it isn’t always unfortunately) Again my mum raised me a very empathetic way and to see the things that people regularly overlook in life. She is a deeply compassionate woman more than I’ve ever known anyone to be in this life.

OP posts:
TT0107 · 12/04/2026 09:03

@SergeantWrinkles Yes bad habits some of which are displayed in this comment section. I did go on to further explain it, it’s a clash of different cultures and travellers choose to keep their children within their own. That isn’t every traveller, more go to school than don’t nowadays. My eldest son picked up a lot of bad habits from when he started high school. It’s not a racist or double standard view it’s more about protecting your own culture

OP posts:
SergeantWrinkles · 12/04/2026 08:58

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 00:41

@SergeantWrinkles I haven’t stereotyped at all. Maybe you should re read what I said in the context I implied. I never said gorgers- non travellers don’t take their shoes off or help themselves or even that they live a certain way. I said the reason why my mum didn’t want me around other peoples homes is because she didn’t want me exposed to any of that stuff and no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. I didn’t say the reason why she didn’t want me to go round non travellers homes is because I’d be exposed to that.

You literally stated that traveller kids are removed from school because travellers don’t want ‘other kids’ (presumably non traveller) bad habits rubbing off! I mean that sounds like quite a prejudiced view? I’m not sure I understand the double standards?

I come from a Romany gypsy & Irish traveller family. General chat…
TT0107 · 12/04/2026 08:58

@Tenofcups I basically have been disowned myself because I had a child with a black man. It happens unfortunately. I chose to distance myself from my father when he initially found out I was dating a black guy and he made his racist views clear. I don’t really want to associate with anyone like that regardless if they are family. He has decided to not meet my daughter but I had already decided he wouldn’t be anyway due to his comments about her whilst I was pregnant.

OP posts:
Rubyupbeat · 12/04/2026 08:58

Op, your post is a credit to your upbringing by your Mum.
My Mum was a teacher and taught on many local sites in the 70s and 80s. She loved her work and the families she met, she was given upmost respect, when she died nearly 20 years back the church was full of families she loved from the travelling communities, some were grown children of the children she taught who said she was always talked about in a kind and respectful way.

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 08:55

@Pointeshoesxx That’s true. It’s just ignorance and the ones who point the finger are the ones projecting hate. The young woman who died is related to me. It is very sad. Her mother is my dads cousin.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 12/04/2026 08:55

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 08:33

It’s really no surprise that the travellers who do have the attitudes they do won’t think any different and choose to keep their children away because just look some of you are so full of hate and racism. Imagine the way you raise your children with your racist views or are you just undercover racist? I’ve said numerous times here my youngest child is mixed race which implies she has a different father and just like I’ve also said I live a very ordinary life now and went against the grain. I don’t put travellers on any kind of pedestal. My mixed daughter is half Nigerian and I do everything to include her father’s culture into my life, I am welcoming to all cultures and ethnicities. I’ve reached out to Nigerian communities on social media and have had nothing but warm responses and guess what I included that I come from a traveller family. There was no racism or hate whatsoever. I’ve never said I keep my children away from non travellers, I don’t care what ethnicity my children’s friends are, I just simply wouldn’t trust my child going round anyone’s house when I’m not there as I don’t know what could happen. I’m still shocked at how some of you can speak about other people the way you do.

Edited

You literally said travellers take their children out of school because they don’t want them picking up bad habits from non traveller children.

The irony of then accusing others of racism isn’t lost on many. You are accusing us of doing what you admit travellers do.

keepswimming38 · 12/04/2026 08:55

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Jesus! That’s your comment? Try to pry yourself up from the bottom of your tank today!

Rubyupbeat · 12/04/2026 08:52

@Greyblankie as the op explained, it's something travellers are accused of daily.

Pointeshoesxx · 12/04/2026 08:49

Every post about gypsies ends up filled with hate just like every comment section about us. A mother, farther and dd were killed last week after a crash while riding a horse and cart. They left behind 3 children.
The comments online were horrific with more people being bothered about the horse.
People's opinion of us never change.
I've faced more hate and racism in my life than you would believe.

Tenofcups · 12/04/2026 08:48

What are your views on travellers being disowned by their families for not following “traditions”? A young man I know was disowned by his whole family after refusing to marry his first cousin. Will they likely disown him forever?

mikado1 · 12/04/2026 08:39

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All you've done is shown yourself up with this comment.

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 08:33

It’s really no surprise that the travellers who do have the attitudes they do won’t think any different and choose to keep their children away because just look some of you are so full of hate and racism. Imagine the way you raise your children with your racist views or are you just undercover racist? I’ve said numerous times here my youngest child is mixed race which implies she has a different father and just like I’ve also said I live a very ordinary life now and went against the grain. I don’t put travellers on any kind of pedestal. My mixed daughter is half Nigerian and I do everything to include her father’s culture into my life, I am welcoming to all cultures and ethnicities. I’ve reached out to Nigerian communities on social media and have had nothing but warm responses and guess what I included that I come from a traveller family. There was no racism or hate whatsoever. I’ve never said I keep my children away from non travellers, I don’t care what ethnicity my children’s friends are, I just simply wouldn’t trust my child going round anyone’s house when I’m not there as I don’t know what could happen. I’m still shocked at how some of you can speak about other people the way you do.

OP posts:
Muffsies · 12/04/2026 08:25

I'm half Irish and my grandmother always taught me to be respectful of gypsies. There are some that live in settlements nearby, I went to school with gypsies, although they only tended to come to school for one term per year - that's all their matriarch allowed back in the 80s! A couple of gypsy guys come round my house twice a year to cut our hedges, they always do a decent job and charge a fair price, very polite and never pushy, I've never had an issue.

It's not a lifestyle that appeals to me at all, and i'm sure they'd feel the same about my lifestyle. There are some attitudes i have difficulty with, but you can't judge every individual by socital stereotypes. But generally, if you treat people with respect you get it back, I find the gypsies quite proud and astute - they know if you're being insincere or looking down them, nobody likes to be treated like that. There are 'bad' people in every walk of life but you should take people as you find them and do as you'd like to have done.

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 08:17

@RoseField1 But no I was talking about the endless traveller women that are all over Facebook, TikTok ect now making videos. A lot of them post cleaning videos but others just make general day to day videos.

OP posts:
Jinglealltheway92 · 12/04/2026 08:15

Thank you OP. I would love to ask you some questions about your upbringing and life, but I feel this thread is becoming derailed by racists. Other posters have been trying to trip you up. You’ve been open and honest and that’s the only way we learn about different cultures. I don’t think you should continue to engage with this, it must be horrible to know what racism and hate is out there in plain print, but you might be made of sturdier stuff than me.

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 08:15

@olympicsrock How exactly am I volatile when there’s people on here openly being racist and discriminative? Replace the word gypsy with black when the poster said no wonder you come from a gypsy family you need to learn how to use paragraphs. I’m sure no one would openly say that… no wonder you’re black you need to learn how to use paragraphs. Outrageous attitude and behaviour. I would never let my child speak like that about anyone furthermore not directly to someone and you’re all adults. I stand on what I said. I do hope karma catches up with that person

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 12/04/2026 08:08

OP is certainly backing up the stereotype that travellers are volatile!

I know think the television programmes about Gypsies are idolizing them btw - it’s more about curiosity in the way that you go to the zoo or look at deodferent species or watch documentaries about morbidly obese people.

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 08:06

@RoseField1 I was meant to @ the person you tagged regarding idolising travellers. Duvetdayneeded

OP posts:
TT0107 · 12/04/2026 07:59

@Muffinmam Hopefully your karma catches up with you soon to think it’s ok to openly post racist and discriminatory comments. You’re clearly lacking a lot aren’t you yet you have the cheek to make a comment about me. I’m a gypsy and you’re not yet you’re the one making spiteful comments… yeh sounds about right it’s always the way isn’t it

OP posts:
RoseField1 · 12/04/2026 07:57

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 07:51

@RoseField1 That’s why I said the people who watch those videos. Do you watch them? Do you want some links? Do you want some gypsy friends that could probably teach you some manners

I beg your pardon?
I've been nothing but polite to you on this thread, responded to other posters who have been disrespectful supporting you and you respond like this? I'm out.

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 07:56

@Bluewombler I didn’t know Mumsnet would openly have so much hatred. It is true what they say about travellers that if it was any other ethnicity or race people wouldn’t be so openly racist and discriminate.

you didn’t read what I said did you? Because I said I don’t leave my kids with anybody, I didn’t say just non travellers. And then I went on to say also travellers included because so so many were jumping on that’s offensive wagon. I do let my children socialise, they go to school and then I take my child to activities where there’s a lot of other kids she plays with. I do believe that is socialising. I just don’t let her go over to friends houses, if you do that kind of thing then great for you but I won’t be

OP posts:
FailMeOnce · 12/04/2026 07:56

The loving and respectful way you speak about your mum is lovely.

TT0107 · 12/04/2026 07:51

@RoseField1 That’s why I said the people who watch those videos. Do you watch them? Do you want some links? Do you want some gypsy friends that could probably teach you some manners

OP posts:
RoseField1 · 12/04/2026 07:37

Duvetdayneeded · 12/04/2026 06:12

I don’t think anyone ‘idolises’ travellers…. Far from it.

I expect she's talking about the recent peaky blinders film and that kind of thing.

Muffinmam · 12/04/2026 07:19

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