I come from a Romany gypsy & Irish traveller family. General chat…

Not if you are a diabetic, I would never take my shoes off irs far too dangerous I have no idea what is on someone else's floor. I do not go into houses with this rule fortunately nobody I know well has it.

What an interesting thread @TT0107 thanks for posting.

Here is my question - I know they're young, but what would happen if one of your sons or daughter came out as gay/lesbian? How would that go down in the family and community?

I'm in Ireland OP and have lived beside a settled traveller family for over 8yrs, we are moving soon, although not far, and I don't know who's more devastated, us or them😭
I moved in as a young (22 yr old) with a10mth old, newly pregnant and widowed a couple of months previously, and while I had plenty of family and friends nearby helping and supporting me, I would still have been lost without them, they took me under their wing and minded me.
They have 8 children, 5 boys and 3 girls, all educated to minimum Junior Cert - which is approx 16 yrs of age here but neither of them are literate beyond basic reading and writing.
One son and one daughter have married outside their culture and it has been fairly rocky with both sides having to learn to accommodate each others culture.
They are fairly traditional in that they believe the men are the "providers" while the women should be at home - she however is the real boss no matter what he thinks or says!!!
Spotless clean both inside and outside their house and she was horrified to discover I didn't own an iron and promptly insisted on coming in once a week and ironing everything - oh ok then😂.
Never ever allowed their younger kids or grandkids into my house unless they were present and sent mine packing if they ever scaled the fence and attempted to go in their back door but if he was gardening he would encourage them in to help.
All kids, young and old so so polite. Would do anything for me and mine. Took them a while to accept DH when we started officially dating - they had known him as my friend previously - and weren't behind the door in letting him know that if he crossed me he would have them to deal with.

They have family visit a couple of times a year in campers and towed caravans and they themselves warn me to move anything that is not nailed down as otherwise it will disappear, my bench from my front garden was suddenly not there when I came home one day, I knew it had to be them and went around to tell the visitors to return it NOW - one of the younger men jumped up and told me to watch my mouth, he then received a clip in the ear from an older man who went into his caravan and promptly started pulling out my bench and was told - and I quote
"Sorry about that missus, presumed you didn't want it as it was left outside so we were just getting rid of it for you, you should be more careful about what you leave outside if you don't want people just helping themselves"😳
I didn't tell my neighbour as he would be so mad and embarrassed. - so just like settled people - there are good and bad in every walk of life.

Idolise? last people I would idolise. Programs are made as a spectacle due to being so absurd.

Interesting thread @TT0107 , thank you, and sorry for all the casual racism from some posters 💐

Yes, I live in the countryside and shoes off at the door is mandatory because for half the year it is muddy, and the other half is dust!

Here we go… it’s gone into shoes on/off. Both is normal, just depends what you are used to. (It’s not very considerate walking manky socks or bare feet or, even worse, second hand slippers through the house).

The shoes off thing is completely normal in lots of countries and is certainly becoming more common in the London. People are conscious of how dirty roads and pavements are and don't want to bring those shoes into domestic living spaces. It's actually very considerate when you think about it.

Not great to be honest.
My kids went to school with some fairground children, who were lovely. They missed a lot of school of course, especially in the spring/summer when fair season started, but they were hardworking and pleasant kids.

But the travellers from the fixed site cause a lot of trouble in the town. I’ve watched women and kids shoplifting on a large scale, and the traveller lads seem to be at the centre of most of the fights in town. I’ve seen some nasty car crashes involving traveller teens as well. The area around the site is disgusting, rubbish and broken down cars everywhere.

Thank you for sharing a little about your upbringing. It's fascinating to me to read about your experiences in how you were brought up and to see the parallels and differences to my own life.
I will admit I don't know much about the Romany/Traveller life and there is a lot of negative stuff out there and if not part of the community we don't get to hear about what life is like for you.
There are some settled Travellers near where I work and I see the Mum and daughters walking the son to school and then the Mum and daughters walking home. It always makes me a bit sad that they don't get to go to school too. Well done to you for making sure your daughter gets a good education, sounds like you're an excellent Mum.
I wish you every success and happiness in life, it's sad that your father is missing out on his Grandchild. His loss.

I do get that.

You are clearly very motivated and keen for your children to have options as they grow up.

And teaching your daughter that reading is important is one of the most amazing things you can do as a parent!

I really didn’t mean to be such an arsehole earlier - it sounds like you are a good person and a great mum. And if your mum helped to instill that in you, well done her!

Those manners aren’t normal though. I wish they were but so many children think it’s okay to mess with people’s things/ask for food (or help themselves) etc

Agreed. Lack of education is not the same as lack of intelligence.

If I had school age kids I wouldn't be allowing them near a typical secondary school, and I'm neither Traveller nor Romany.

This forum is filled with threads about people's kids being bullied, picking up habits from poorly brought up kids, and a whole swathe of other issues with both children and teachers at high schools.

It's a bit rich to suddenly take umbrage because the OP removed her son because of similar concerns. He's been learning trades, something the country is in dire need of, and will be starting college this year.

It isn't that teaching your kids manners is weird, it's weird that you think these manners aren't normal. Like not stealing. Most people don't steal. Most people are polite, honest people, it's how human society works. Breakdown in society occurs when most people stop being honest and generally kind.
You seem to be feel very intensely about things which most people take for granted. I suspect, being uneducated, your mother drilled these "virtues" into you, because she didn't have anymore interesting knowledge to chat about..? Dinner table chat about history, geography, other cultures etc.

I think lots of posters are being unnecessarily unkind here.

I have also taught a number of Travellers (capital T important!) and like a pp said they have all been very respectful and hard-working, and no, not all children are like that. However I worked hard at meeting them where they were at and any child I've taught to read from zero to fluency at age 10 or 11 will always respect and remember you, so they've not been different in that regard.
They've talked so happily about their cosy trailer life, while I had previously felt for them living where they do. In general, and understandably, people are looking from the outside with their perspective. The boys I knew looked after their horses as if they were another member of their family and despite 4 or 5 children living in their trailer, they were also so clean and tidy and well fed.

The absebteeism was definitely an issue and in some cases that I knew, education and their further education route just wasn't something their parents valued hugely, and were perhaps intimidated by and didn't want to lose their sons to (in their minds). It is a pity if they're not given the full opportunity to go this route if they wish and absentees and early school drop out is very difficult to overcome, for anyone.

On the stealing thing, op's point was very obvious and I'm sure there's a level of defensiveness a lot of the time because of people's very obvious judgement.

Yes some do steal and we had a little boy of 5 whose pockets we had to check all tbe time. It seemed he'd just been taught, take what you can get. He was one in over 30 that I've worked with over the years. Other children have tried to take things too, of course.

@TT0107 I actually find what you’ve said about the “bad habits” of non-traveller kids rubbing off on to your kids quite offensive. My kids have been raised with all the same values that you mentioned in your post, and plenty more decent values too (like lack of racism). Can you clarify what bad habits you fear non-traveller kids might pass on?

And a society that forces young people who are not academically inclined to sit in classrooms struggling with Shakespeare and cloud formations, taking and failing exams designed around aptitudes they don't have that assess knowledge they'll never use again, that damages confidence and makes them feel lesser...there's more there to be proud of than teaching young people useful trades?
To be clear, I'm not advocating for leaving school at 13. However given the flaws in our own educational system and the way it fails working class boys in particular, does bring stones and glass houses to mind.