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Original poster

To ask your opinion re holiday dilemma?

84 replies

toholidayorno · 11/04/2026 22:48

I’ve been invited to go on holiday to go to something specific that I’d love. The holiday is abroad in a close European country. I love the idea of it and dh wants me to go as he knows I’d love it. But I have a baby that I’ve only been more than an hour away from once. I don’t cosleep but apart from that I’m always with her, do 95% of their daily care etc. I am really worried that she’d struggle with me all of a sudden not being there. Dh is a very capable and competent parent and can look after her brilliantly, I just always want to do it. I don’t know how I’d be being away from her that long and I’m more worried about how she’d be with me being gone. I’d FaceTime but I’d be gone 4-5 nights. Dh is saying go, enjoy, relax etc but I’d miss her so much and I’d be worried she’d miss me too. She will be 15 months at the time, it’s not until later this year. What would you do?

OP posts:
Everybodys · 12/04/2026 08:13

Ilovelifeverymuch · 11/04/2026 23:26

My first though is that you should go, at 15 months she old enough to be without you a few days especially with her dad who you say is capable.

Having said that it also depends on how ready you are to be away from her, will you spend the whole trip being worried and end up not enjoying the trip? I think that what's you need to figure out, your child will be fine.

Agreed. There's two separate things to think about here. Whether she'll be fine and whether you'll nonetheless ruin it for yourself by worrying aren't necessarily the same question.

NerrSnerr · 12/04/2026 08:08

Cocktailsandcheese · 12/04/2026 07:13

Amazed at all these people willing to leave their babies for 4/5 nights - that's quite a long time! No judgement, but I'm surprised there aren't more people saying they wouldn't. It's a personal choice and everyone will feel differently, but if you're comfortable with it OP then go for it, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself once you're there.

Leaving the baby with a loving and involved parent. Dads do it all the time (my husband did it for work regularly). I was breastfeeding at this time (and then Covid hit for child 2) so didn’t leave mine until they were older and I built it into something much bigger and wish I did it when they were younger.

Ophir · 12/04/2026 07:17

Definitely go! Seize the day and it will be nice for your DH to have this time with dd too

MrsMuggin · 12/04/2026 07:15

Only you can answer this but if you want to go, go. I had a long weekend away when one of mine was 9 months old but it was only couple of hours drive away. Everyone at home was fine. My youngest is 4 now and I still wouldn't want to be abroad without them, psychologically it just feels too far and I know I wouldn't enjoy it.
Could you try an overnight closer to home first and see how you feel?

Cocktailsandcheese · 12/04/2026 07:13

Amazed at all these people willing to leave their babies for 4/5 nights - that's quite a long time! No judgement, but I'm surprised there aren't more people saying they wouldn't. It's a personal choice and everyone will feel differently, but if you're comfortable with it OP then go for it, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself once you're there.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 12/04/2026 06:26

Go, it will be nice for you to have a break and for her and her dad to have some special one on one time, it sounds like they don’t get much of that.

Duvetdayneeded · 12/04/2026 06:16

Go!!!

ColdAsAWitches · 12/04/2026 02:26

I'd go of course!

ModestlyPrudent · 12/04/2026 02:21

@toholidayorno go! I did the same when my little one was 18 months, she’s now 14 and has absolutely no memory of me ever leaving her.

Enjoy yourself!

JMSA · 12/04/2026 01:29

Go for it. You are defined by more than just motherhood.

Hohumitsreallyallthereis · 12/04/2026 01:10

Go! It will actually be great for your DH to bond and honestly I’d be letting him do more now, it’s a little sad you don’t

Enigma54 · 12/04/2026 01:04

Go and enjoy yourself! It sounds like an experience you would benefit greatly from. Of course you will miss DD, but this will give you the opportunity to be “you “ for a few days.

ultracynic · 11/04/2026 23:45

Absolutely go!! 4 or 5 days is no time at all in the grand scheme of things, you won’t regret it (and she won’t remember!)

3luckystars · 11/04/2026 23:30

Can you go home if you want to after one night or whenever you want to?

Endofyear · 11/04/2026 23:28

I would go but I would use the time between now and then to get her used to spending more time with dad alone - maybe do a night away a couple of times?

Ilovelifeverymuch · 11/04/2026 23:26

My first though is that you should go, at 15 months she old enough to be without you a few days especially with her dad who you say is capable.

Having said that it also depends on how ready you are to be away from her, will you spend the whole trip being worried and end up not enjoying the trip? I think that what's you need to figure out, your child will be fine.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 11/04/2026 23:20

I was thinking you were going to say three months or something. Over one definitely go and enjoy yourself!

Pippa12 · 11/04/2026 23:20

She will be absolutely fine with her Dad, it will do her no harm at all.

The big question is will you be ok? Will you enjoy the reality of not physically being with your child for 4/5 nights? Mine are 10 and 14 now, I only do 3 nights max even now. Everybody is different but I couldn’t have managed that long without them at that young age. Just really think about it, I booked trips I massively regretted when my first was born, my heart literally ached the whole time.

Imbusytodaysorry · 11/04/2026 23:17

Hayley1256 · 11/04/2026 22:51

I think you should go but make sure she's gets use to time away from you first. Go out for the day, maybe even do a night away

This

MyLuckyHelper · 11/04/2026 23:09

absolutely go!!

my friend moved to the Middle East when my third daughter was 16 months old, I felt like the worst parent in the universe for wanting to visit her but as it was, she barely noticed I was gone 😂

sweeneytoddsrazor · 11/04/2026 23:05

Go it is a great opportunity for you to be something other than Mum, and a great opportunity for your DH to spend some time with DD

DingleDungle · 11/04/2026 22:58

I wouldn't because I wouldn't have enjoyed it. Unless this is a once in a lifetime thing, just go another time.

Of course you can go and it will be fine, but if you're worried about it just postpone.

BlueMum16 · 11/04/2026 22:58

Go.

You've got time to prep..get DH doing more and you taking a step back.

Do you go out with friends and leave DC with DP for bedtime/meals.

You need to build up the times he does things and get yourself used to allowing him.

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 11/04/2026 22:57

Nah. You’ll miss her terribly. She’s only a bay for such a short moment of time

Willowskyblue · 11/04/2026 22:55

15 weeks, maybe not; 15 months, definitely go!