To ask your opinion re holiday dilemma?

Oh I don't know !! They are like puppies . You can't explain you will be back . I left a similar aged baby with my mum for 2 nights years ago and he was inconsolable ..........

Go!

@MaddestGranny
Thats a bit OTT, she’s away for a few days from a toddler, not off to war for 3 years!!!
When did this all start ‘I can’t leave my child until they’re 23’ nonsense, plenty mums have to work, in forces etc

I wouldn't have left mine. I couldn't have managed that at all. I'd have been worried the whole time. Definitely seem to be in the minority here though.

Which has literally nothing to d9 with OP’s situation.

You need to give your DH chance to actually be a dad. It will be good for both of them. At 15 months, she really will be fine.

Go go go!

It depends on what sort of support the DH is willing & able to provide.

In this particular instance it sounds as if DH is able and willing to step up and do all that is necessary for DC's care & welfare while OP is away.

In fact, DH sounds like a bit of a pearl. One of those of whom we hear little on MN.

Another pp made the point that OP's 4-5days away will be giving DH & DC a precious bonding opportunity. This is the key to the whole thing. If OP goes away and DH & DC not only manage, but thrive and very positively enjoy their time together, then something will have been deeply planted in family bonding. The homecoming and reuniting will be a joyous event. Everyone will have survived and, very probably, everyone will have gained from the situation.
It does, however, need to be carefully & explicitly managed within this very positive mind-set. And if that's the case, then there's no reason why it can't work.
The preparatory work needs to be put in, as other pps have noted.
I have actually watched this work with v close family. The awareness, planning and communication needs to be upfront.
Finally: don't underestimate the understanding of the baby/child. Even pre-verbal children are taking in A LOT. A 15-month-old is on the cusp of understanding, verbally, much of what is going on/being said and is beginning to be able to voice a few words.
Good rule-of-thumb: always assume babies understand every word.

Ive been asked togo on holiday next year with soneone i hardly know. Have nothing in common with to an area I dont like staying in her air b and b. Cannot think of anything worse or testricting

Good to read that you have worked up to a few nights now your children are older, I hope I can do the same!

I understand completely what you mean. We have the option to leave our children with my mum- she’d even be happy for us to go for a week etc, but I struggle psychologically with the reality of it which I honestly never thought I would. The kids are absolutely fine, but I wouldn’t enjoy it. I’m jealous of the ladies that can compartmentalise this, I honestly think good for them. We do 3/4 nights now tops st 10/14 years.

GO

Apologies

Go! You probs don’t realise how much you’ll enjoy the rest and the fun you’ll have. You’ll come back refreshed and a better mummy from having that rest. Your DD will never remember the time you went away and it will be great for your DH to spend time with his DD.

If you think you will still enjoy yourself go! The child will be fine. I have similar aged grandchild experience of daughter having to fly to South America for a week for work. Child stayed with Dad and he was fine. I was surprised that he just took it in his stride.

I was away for 6 days from my first aged 17 months when I gave birth to second. In those days Dad was back at work and no children visiting. The only problem was that I felt guilty. Eldest is 35 years now. She has never mentioned it !

So I am pretty sure that child will cope. It is how you will feel that is the important thing. Don’t feel like you “ought” to go because others do. There will be plenty of other opportunities in the years to come.

Yes absolutely!

No, not at all. If anything I'm jealous that so many women feel able to do this when it isn't something I felt I could have done. I'm just surprised to see that so many women would do it, it's making me rethink things.

We left my 15 month old won’t my mum and sister to go to Glastonbury! She was totally fine without us - deffo out of sight out of mind op ! We actually didn’t video call much in the end as we found the first day we did it she got confused and upset - but when we didn’t call my mum said she was fine - they just kept her busy :)

I left again twice when she was 18 and 20 months - once for sisters hen and then the wedding - she was with dad those times she though and again she didn’t seem to care that I was gone

You should definitely go. Sounds like it would be good for all of you. The fact DH is encouraging you seems like he might really appreciate some 1 on 1 time with DD if you are always the default parent. And you get to do something just for you for the first time since baby came. And I'm sure your DD will be fine with dad.

I wouldn’t have gone when my DS was that age, because I wouldn’t have enjoyed it (and I was breastfeeding - still doing feeds at bedtime and first thing).

It’s interesting to get opinions from other women, but ultimately I’d ignore everyone else and take a few minutes to think about what YOU really want to do. Take out the “how other people might judge you” angle, including what your other half thinks and give yourself permission to do what feels right for you and your child.

Go! Your little one will be fine and actually your gifting your DH and baby some special bonding time. Enjoy it.

She’s not leaving her child with a stranger or home alone. She has a competent co parent to “fill her role” while she is away.

maybe the people commenting are also in relationships with competent co parents who make making these decisions a hell of a lot easier than leaving them with a feckless parent!

No judgement she says, although your post is really judgey

Work up to spending time apart from her so it doesn’t feel as “harsh” as going from nothing to 5 days.

also, you say yourself your DH is a competent parent, and it will probably do their relationship good for him to focus on that too. Allow him the time with his child while allowing yourself the time for you!

Go! It’s good for both of you.