To ask your opinion re holiday dilemma?

Go!

I find a lot of these posts astonishing. When DS was a baby and toddler DH regularly took him to visit my iLs who were a short flight away. Sometimes he took him alone for 2-3 nights, sometimes I went for 2 nights and ds and dh stayed a other couple of nights while I flew home early, usually as i had to get back to work. We did this 1-2 times a year from when ds was 11 months old for many years until last IL died when ds was 14yrs old

I also took ds abroad to visit my family, though less often but for longer as it was further. The first time I went for a week when ds was 15 months and because DH had a poorly timed work trip, he ended up not seeing DS for 10 days. Afterwards. He made me promise that he would never have to be apart from ds as long again as he missed him so much, which was
understandable after 10 days! So both of us missed him. We were both fine with 2-3 days though. 4-5 nights were mine and DHs limit though

Absolutely, it’s very weird.

Don’t go if u feel that bad about leaving u will put a dampener or the other folk on the trip.

I think you should go, but whether you go or not, I think you should intentionally build her up to be able to cope without you for short periods anyway if you possibly can. I was hospitalised when my oldest was a similar age and I was so relieved he was already ok to be left with grandparents and my husband, it lessened the trauma for him.

I wouldn't, personally, but everyone is different! Can you do one night away between now and then and see how she goes? She'll probably be absolutely fine and that might make it easier when you get round to going away for 5 days.

I appreciate everyone is different and at the end of the day there’s no point going if you’re not going to enjoy it and be constantly worrying. But in my eyes 15 months is not a baby! Your DH sounds great and more than capable and as others have said it’s a great opportunity for their relationship to grow and for your child to get used to not always being with you! Have a couple of practice runs and then go and enjoy some me time!

How old is she now? Do you have time to build up to being away from you.
Are you planning to go back to work, baby will have to be looked after by others if that is the case.
I'm on the fence with this one. It is really good for you to continue with your own hobbies and to do things for your own pleasure but 4/5 days is a long time. I was itching to get back to my then aged 7 and 11 year olds when I did a similar time away.
The baby will be fine by the way, I actually find face timing or calling too much unsettles them so something to consider. It's you and whether you'll enjoy it. You should not feel guilt or like a bad parent though.

Do you want to go? It could really do all of you good, but agree with PP that you and DD need to get used to it first, and if you are going to be absent for 4 nights you need to start giving DP more responsibility now, as well as having a night away in the interim.

@pouletvous
Baby will be 15 months, I sometimes wonder is it more the mother that’s clinging on to baby rather than concern for baby, never leaving your child isn’t a badge of pride to judge other women with, too many times on here you see women who their entire personality/life is being a mum then come the teen years and they’re bereft as the baby has grown up and doesn’t need mummy.

Go. I was in similar situation, went away for a four day trip my sisters organised for my mother’s 70th birthday. I arrived back on DD’s first birthday, DH met me at the airport and we went straight out for a celebration lunch with her at Henley on the way back from the airport. We had a lovely day. Of course I missed her a lot but it was a good trip. I don’t think she missed me at all having all the attention from DH.
You have time between now and then to give her a few practice runs of you going out all day to let her get used to you sometimes not being around so much. Go and have a fabulous time.

No, dont go. Five nights is a long time to be separated from your baby

I left my breastfed, cosleeping 15 month old to go to a hen do. Was only 1 night but toddler did not care at all. Happily slept with dad instead, ate and drank fine. Barely noticed I was gone.

You need to allow DH to step up and do more with baby so you're not doing 95%. Let him take out to a class or some soft play or something and have a relax. You'll see they're fine with him!

Go!

Obviously she's not breastfeeding or she'd have said so, given that would be a substantial hurdle to get over to go away for 5 days.

The baby will be 15 months old, very few people are still breastfeeding by that stage.

I'd go, OP.

I’m assuming you’re not breastfeeding. My youngest is 20 months and the longest I’ve been away is morning till bedtime. I couldn’t imagine being apart for days. The only time I’ve been apart from my 4 yr old was when I was in hospital having her younger sister. It sounds like you’re similar and this would be a huge wrench. I wouldn’t

You should try one night away from her first. I wouldn’t do this personally, but I was still breastfeeding at that stage. Go with your gut instinct. Don’t feel pressured either way.

GO!

I'm on the opposite side, as in I looked after my grandchildren for 4 days when their parents had to go on a business trip ( they worked for same firm). I had them overnight before. They were 2 and 5. Apart from a little wobble when mum and dad left, they were fine within about 15 mins, and had fun things planned. They facetimed mum and dad and said goodnight, but they were exhausted so no issues with sleeping.
Your wee one will be fine.Just go and enjoy yourself.

Go. Practice leaving her a few times before. Have fun!

I'd go, because I genuinely feel its important for children to be as comfortable with their other parent, and for the other parent and child to have a chance at the one to one bond.
So while I'd miss her, I'd see it as a positive thing for her development and relationship with her dad.

Yes I suppose leaving her with your husband is different to both of you leaving her .

Go - she will be fine. It will be lovely for your DD and your DH to spend time together.

Go - and don't feel guilty!

I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the holiday.

Babies and children benefit hugely from the different parenting styles between a Dad and a Mum. When they are very little, having a Mum doing most of the parenting is natural and easy, but as dc grow its hugely important to allow the Dad to develop his own style and relationship with the dc that is independent of the Mum. It teaches them so many things and builds a precious bond.

If you are currently doing 95% of parenting, that is wonderful, but looking more long term, I would suggest its time to start thinking of how you could scaffold DH and dc building their bonds with each other so that they get that deep connection and sense of safety with each other.

Your trip could be a great goal to aim towards for building up to.

And secondly dont under estimate how much more you need a break from a tantrumming 15 month old than a compliant baby!!