AIBU to envy friends with wealthier husbands and easier retirements?

It depends on how many years you have (as is the case with all pensions, of course).

I lost out to an extent because of family health problems. I dropped to a 4 day week for one year and then retired at 58, so that put a dent in my pension. I never had maternity leave. I started teaching when I was 24.

However, I was in a promoted post. (I was a PTC/Faculty Head) My take home teaching pension after tax is currently a little under 2k a calendar month. I can't complain - many are much worse off. If I'd been in an unpromoted post, it wouldn't have been as much.

You are both teachers and are struggling? In your 50s and 60s with a combined income of maybe 70K?
What's going on?

Full time or part time?

Do you love your husband, does he love you, do you like your home however modest and do you take pleasure from some things? Most importantly, are you reasonably healthy?

Those issues are important.

Your life sounds similar to mine some years ago (I am now widowed and retired). We didn't have much, both worked hard, had just one child. It was hard at times but I don't believe other couples that we knew who were a lot better off than us financially were any better off in real terms.

Everyone encounters problems in life regardless of status: illness, bereavement, disappointments, kids being ill or getting into strife. That is life, good and bad, ups and downs. Even the King and the Princess of Wales have had to have extensive and uncomfortable medical treatment and they have all the money in the world.
Prince and Princess Michael of Kent's son in law committed suicide out of the blue.

You and your husband do valuable work and that must be rewarding and fulfilling in many ways. When you retire you'll have decent pensions and be able to relax, hopefully have some fun.

My husband and I planned to go off in the car and explore parts of this country that we didn't know for short breaks. He was really looking forward to that. It was not to be. However we did some of it while still working and I have happy memories.

Envying others is pointless, it changes nothing, only makes you feel worse. Enjoy what you have.

When I was teaching, I did see some part-timers in particular secondary departments who had better off husbands and who did the job for 'pin money'. They often managed to avoid classes being presented for exams - you'd find that the timetabler would give them junior classes.

@TheAngryPuxie I thought teachers get a decent pension? If your DH retires soon, will you both be better-off to start enjoying the finer things in life?

Is this some new weird version of a techer bashing thread. Teacher of 57 only just realised that if you have more money you can afford more material possessions 😳.
in addition to which why is your husband, and presumably you still on UPS as you near retirement, that’s not about ambition it’s about not being good enough to go through to UPS.

I was attracted to my DH because he was gorgeous, intellectual, decent and kind. When we met he was so skint he had newspaper stuffed in his shoes.

The first sentence of the above paragraph are what mattered. However, he has certainly never disappointed.

Why weren't YOU more ambitious so that he could have a bigger house and didn't have to work? Maybe he's a disappointed in you as you are in him.

You made your choices. You could have chosen someone else. You didn't

Envy is not a good look. Cherish what you have.

Take responsibility for where you are

I'd say YABU. Comparison is the thief of joy.
As long as you have enough, I think that's a definite way to wish your life away.
I would say that, just having the security of a second salary coming into the household, is a great comfort. I've lived with a couple of partners, and on my own now, and the feeling of back up/security, from both of us, when roles were at risk, etc., made a big difference.

So between you there's an income of just under 90k ?? My heart bleeds......

🤣🤣🤣 Lovely goady Saturday night post!

I’m guessing must be part time?

This made me laugh. Definitely a ‘having your arse handed to you’ thread. But go on op, come back and discuss, be brave!

Yes I think when you’re young most women don’t think too calculatingly about how they choose their husbands. They’d probably be wiser to have a mind to financials. Obviously it’s not the most important thing but love only goes so far and financial worries can cause a lot of arguments. Men always disappoint, but it’s easier to be disappointed in a lamborghini. Something like that anyway

You've managed to retire at 57 and have benefitted from nice long holidays. Look at the positives and stop comparing yourself to others. If you want to improve your lot, do something about it.

You should’ve married where the money was then. Bit late now so no point thinking about it.

Bloody hell OP. If you wanted a different standard of living, you were equally as able to go off and make your fortune as your husband. Why was it his responsibility?
He promised to share his life with you, not bankroll your existence in a lap of luxury
YABU

But some people are on a single income for whatever reason, and that's not fair either. What do you need a 5 bedroom house for? Would it really make you happy? Our income is much less than yours, but I wouldn't want to run my own business. No point being jealous.

What’s with all the ‘jealous of my wealthy friends’ threads of late?

You are being unreasonable thinking that £44k is “a lot”. My DH is earning around the same and I certainly don’t think it’s a lot in this climate.