AIBU to envy friends with wealthier husbands and easier retirements?

Do you get this on top of the state pension?

Insulting to say that £32 K isn’t “much” and is a “pocket money” job when the average salary in the UK is around £35 K.
Lost all sympathy for you there.

Life is not fair & we do not live in a meritocracy, I hate it too. Envy & jealousy are normal human emotions that we all have to wrestle with. I guess all we can do is try not to dwell on the vicissitudes of life🤷‍♀️

I’m not one to argue and can see your viewpoint. But statistically it’s simply just rare to have a job in corporate that will pay 80k+ and be a job where you’re not expected to be available at least most of the time. This salary is high in London outside of major corps let alone the rest of the country….

You can swap with me my husband works in retail and earns next to nothing 😅😭 luckily I love him a lot ( I would love a nice big kitchen as well though but this remains a dream 😅)

I was a full time nurse manager. My husband got made redundant so we invested his package in property and bought a flat with the income we bought another and then another. So three flats no mortgages. I retired that 61 as husband had health issues.
im told by friends im lucky. Do they forget i worked 7 days a week to get here. 💁‍♀️

Why is it your husband’s fault and not yours?

They realistically could not have been earning much less than this 20 years ago unless they’ve always been part time. And in most areas of the country this could have bought them a good standard of living + housing then, which would now be mortgage free

That’s simply not true. There are loads of private sector jobs paying way more than that and don’t require you to sell your soul.

Unfortunately many private sector employers pay 3-5% so private sector pensions are tiny in comparison.

You have a household income close to 90,000 a year.
You could have bought a large house, what did you do with your earnings over the years, if you’re eating supermarket brand foods?
At 57, you wouldn’t be paying for childcare.

Grow up, OP. Life isn't fair, and why ruin your own happiness with resentment. Some people are rich, some people are beautiful, some people are geniuses, some people have insane good luck - there's always going to be people to envy, so why waste your time with it?

Totally understand this! However, outside of highly stressful jobs in sectors such as Banking or Law the reality is you often won’t be paid that much more for the difference to pay off. Teachers who have the drive for promotions frequently earn 50-70k by 40 years old. It’s rare for an average corporate job even at relatively good places to pay more than this, unless you’re willing to dedicate your life to work.

Yes, Yabu. There is more to life than money, you have had an excellent career as has your husband.
Money isn’t everything.
I am sure you’ll have a pension too. Don’t waste your time stressing.
Get some lower earning friends, it’ll balance things out.,

Op you’re exactly the reason why I’m careful about who I let into my home and share details regarding personal wealth with.

In my opinion you’re being unreasonable, outside of most people being right on you could have earned differently too, you shouldn’t feel jealous of someone else’s marriage, dh was at a meeting recently with a successful company and it came up how people neglected their marriages to get to where they were, with some even joking that divorces were almost a given. Give me a funny, lovely husband over a financially successful one any day!

You chose this. You chose to train, you chose your job, you chose to stay. You choose every day to keep doing it.
So quit whining and own it

This isn't quite true.

You accrue 1.75% of your salary for each full year worked, index linked, for a combined contribution equal to 38% of your salary.

Assuming you earned £10k pa more in an equivalent level private sector role and both you and your employer invest 10% quite aggressively for 30 years, your pot will surely generate an income greater than TPS.

I find the whole tone of your post a bit insulting. Rude about your husband, for a start. Why couldn't you have had some ambition and earned more? And I can't imagine anyone doing teaching as a hobby. You say yourself how stressful it is.
Real wealth is having a loving marriage, healthy children, good friends. Not comparing and being self-,pitying.

Still on MPS not UPs

I saw a couple of those twenty years ago when I first started teaching. They were on the verge of retirement and definitely had less responsibility. I don’t think you’ll find many people like that anymore. The job is too difficult and anyone not willing to give the skin off their back would be given a hard time indeed.

You need poorer friends!