AIBU to envy friends with wealthier husbands and easier retirements?

You can be a teacher and be ambitious too!

You could have looked at your friend’s house and felt sorry for her for having all the extra work and responsibility involved in maintaining a massive white elephant. As for the husband running his own business - no easy pension arrangements, then, so maybe they were relying on the house being a big part of the retirement wealth, but large properties like that are not easily saleable. You also don’t know how much debt they have, or how dramatically their income may fluctuate. You and your dh at least have stable, reliable careers and have not had to take the sorts of risks that someone running their own business takes.

@GreekIslands and @Jhhgrtf See my previous posts on experienced teachers being actively disincentivised to apply for upper scale pay bands.
It's not that simple.
https://schoolsweek.co.uk/support-plans-misused-to-force-out-teachers-from-schools-say-campaigners/

Wow
Demonstrates the enormous difference in the human race.
It has never featured in my mind re potential earning when I have developed feelings and pursued relationships with another person.
You do you

And also me asking AI says teaches' salaries aren't reduced due to the holidays they get. So go figure.

Indeed, but it doesn't change the fact that those bleating on about holidays are incorrect, which is my only point.

I didn’t even know houses like that existed lol. A bungalow at the bottom of the garden? 🤣

Then it's something they knew in advance and chose.

It is, otherwise their salaries would be higher. 5.6 weeks are paid holidays. I'm afraid you are wrong.

Not sure where you're getting that from!

The pay is not 'minus holidays'.

That's nonsense.

The only teachers who are paid by the day/ hour are supply teachers where their equivalent annual salary is divided into working days and that's their daily rate for supply.

Are you paid for weekends?

A teacher starts on £33k in the UK. That's a lovely starting salary to begin working life on.

They obviously can move up and progress if they want to earn more.

You need to realise that your pensions are extremely generous compared to the private sector.

When you are both retired, you will have close to what you're earning now, if you include the state pension - and as you won't pay as much tax, your net income is likely to be close to what you have now.

Your H did of course have the option to apply for SL jobs and even headships.
He didn't have to stay on the main scale.

It isn't, the salary is significantly reduced to reflect that. Also, they are often expected to do quite a lot of work in those unpaid holidays.

Yes, agree. I keep reading here that teachers are not paid for their holidays. It's nonsense!

Be happy for what you have and aspire to work towards having more (if you want).

We earn £200k plus as a family. We don't see those on more and are jealous. We have relatives who earn more and have big businesses, it's fine. They built their success, we have ours as well.

Nah, life isn’t fair. I tend to find that the call on what is fair and what isn’t is often a matter of perspective. I’m sure there are lots of people who have worked incredibly hard in minimum wage jobs with the minimum allowed holiday and only a state pension who feel life isn’t fair too.

Well yes. If having a high standard of living and an ambitious partner are things that are important to you, then by marrying someone who is a teacher and who isn’t ambitious, you’re not going to be happy.

You can pretend that money doesn’t matter, but it does, and it matters to some more than others. Also, having a partner that isn’t ambitious is a real turn off to many people.

OP should have secured a better career for herself to be independent also being as money, having a big house etc matter a lot to her.

I barely speak to my sister because she can’t reign in her envy - she openly says that she’s jealous, all the while taking endless digs. She once threatened to “steal” my husband off me while she was blackout pissed and trust me I have never forgiven that: I know she won’t remember, I’ve never raising with her - but it’s NOTED. She probably would too - she has form for such behaviours.

My sister is eaten up by jealousy. Don’t be like that.
She’s lonely angry and bitter and it’s largely been her own doing.

I feel this presents a false equivalence, almost as if you're saying that OP's husband's work ethic is representative of colleagues later in their careers who actively chose to remain on M6 as a means to safeguard their careers.

In our (huge) trust, support plans are common practice, and colleagues working in the other two trusts which manage the lion's share of other schools in our county report the same. Colleagues are frightened off applying for UPS. The colleagues I know who have remained in the classroom on UPS are in local authority schools.

I agree.

I am a business owner and while there can be big pay offs if your business makes it and continues to be successful long term, there are lots of downsides, especially if you're building it from scratch.

I get no sick pay, took a few months maternity leave, no holiday pay so any holiday I go on costs me an extra few thousand in lost income. Changes to the economy have the potential to sink my business, the pressure of generating new contracts and clients. It's difficult to put away for a pension if it's been a "bad" month.

Saying that, the business has grown year on year, I have a lot of autonomy and I find my work very fulfilling.

It has the potential to earn me both significantly more and significantly less than the average income/pension.

I have made my choices and there have been and will be consequences to that.

Choosing your partner wisely????
In terms of financial status??????
Holy Lord, I find it incredulous that people will choose potential partners on their financial potential????
On another note, it's seems that some people may underrate the enormity of the impact of good teachers and teaching staff. Myself and family members have been on the receiving end and benefited hugely from good teachers. Enough said

I'm saying YABU as my husband is 48 with a terminal illness. As long as you have your health and have enough money to pay the bills you can be happy. Jealousy is the thief of joy.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

@JLou08 OP is not retired, her friend is. They're both 57.