To lose interest in seeing friends after I had kids

Right now I imagine life is very intense with a baby and a toddler. In a few years when your DC are at school, you may have more energy and headspace for socialising. I’m inclined to say try to hang out to your friends, even through WhatsApp.
lf you got divorced or widowed, who would be your support network?

I agree with all the other posters. Short sighted and you'll regret it.

It also seems quite sad that you don't care about any of those friends? Don't you want to see them and find out how they are doing?

If you don't fancy going for drinks then suggest something that does work. Bring the baby to brunch. Go on a park friend date and bring coffee.

Admittedly I live in SW London but here the pubs are full of parents with small kids in the pubs / parks etc. On a Friday at 4pm/5pm you'll get all the nursery kids going to the pub for some dinner and so the mums have a wine. Seems a great balance to me.

Are you working? Do you have any social interaction other than family/wife/mother on a regular basis?

I understand that this is a very short window of time where you are your children’s entire world and want to maximise that, but it’s true in both directions. Especially If you shut yourself in and become very insular.

Incredibly short sighted of you. Really very unwise. Kids grow up and your husband could disappear at any point. I don't say this to offend - it's just I'm 51 and I know it to be true. You need friends and life is so much richer with them.

I don’t identify with this.

Having kids has made me lonelier than i’ve ever been as i struggle with time to meet people.

I voted yanbu but I also think you should make the effort on occasion. You are your kids world right now, but fast forward ten or so years and you won’t be. I unexpectedly became a widow when my kids were small. I am so grateful to my friends I had them who kept me alive. And I’m truly grateful for the friends I met later.

I get where you're coming from OP. Do you feel you have friends who truly care about you and ask you about your life etc., can you have a laugh with them?
After many cycles of so-called friends drifting away I can't be bothered putting the effort in anymore for the majority. Even between parents and children the relationship can break down. Ask me how I know! I suppose it comes down to whether people in your life enhance it and bring joy, or do the opposite.

It sounds like you’ve had some bad experiences with friends and I can understand why this has shaped how you feel. I think the main thing with only relying on your partner and family is that relationships can fail, older relatives will probably pass before us, so you could be left in quite an isolated situation. Having said that, nothing is certain and if your heart isn’t really in it, your friends will probably pick up on that anyway. Perhaps one thing you could try, if you’re not already doing this, is to find a hobby you enjoy once a week/month and meet people through that? That way you’ll be doing something you actually enjoy as well as socialising?

But at the same time I’ve basically lost all interest in seeing friends, and I don’t know if that’s normal or if I’m becoming a bit closed off.

This is entirely your choice.

As long as you don't expect support from these friends if your marriage ends up as one of the 40% that ends in divorce.

Agree with poster above - this is a very short period of time in the grand scheme of things and if you cut off all ties to everyone you are going to be very lonely in 10 years when your kids are off with their friends and definitely don't need mum there for bedtime.

I’d say everyone is different and YANBU to prefer to spend time with family. The thing is, if you lost those friendships, would you be sad about it in the future? I often read/hear that women find their female friendships to be the most important and sustaining thing through all the ups and downs of life. If that’s not you, that’s ok. Although be aware if you don’t put the effort in to friendships, those relationships are unlikely to survive if/when you decide you want to pick them up again.

I would just be careful OP. As you say this is a short stage, you have a lot of life left to live after your children are no longer tiny and the friends who you ignore will not be waiting around to be picked up when you decide you want to.

It can be hard when you’re at different stages of life though. I’m in the same boat with 2 very young children and am quite lucky that lots of my friends have similar age children so we see each other pretty much every week with all the kids & often all the husband’s as well, I have other friends who don’t have children and who still go out a lot drinking and so our ideas of fun don’t really match up but we still all make the effort because the friendships are important to us.

It is important to have a life outside of your family and people outside of your family.