My Dad told me I'm a shit parent. AIBU to just want to pack up and leave to go home right now?

You explain to the kids that your leaving because his behaviour was unacceptable and you don't have to put up with it.

Why on earth is your DH enabling your dad's behaviour?!?!?! My husband would have had us out of there ASAP.

As it is, I hope you left this morning.

Well done op 🩷

I would be honest with them once you are gone. Grandad was in the wrong to physically lay his hands on them and you will not stand for it. My parents think my kids are feral, I think my kids are ND as am I and the difference in how I behaved as a child and how they behave is that I don’t wish to rule my children with fear, leaving them with mental health issues that last a lifetime

I mean why would you stay. Sounds quite clear your dad doesn't want/ can't cope with you there...

Yes he can say what he thinks, but you can also respond accordingly. I would have left too. Of course a child will press buttons on the sofa, if he wants him not to he needs to block off the buttons somehow, or supervise directly.

I’m so glad you had your dh to support you and you were able to go without any more drama. As a pp said, your dad knows he should be saying “sorry, that will never happen again.”
I’m so sorry that what was supposed to be a nice weekend turned out so horribly. Make protecting your dc your priority. It’s really sad for you that your dad is not being a safe and loving person for your family.
A friend of my family had a grandchild who was legitimately a terror. Never once did the family members act like your dad. It’s all on him.

You have done the right thing. I also have a father who hasn't been around much and we've butted heads over my DC. He didn't raise you, so has no context for your own family, seems to be embarrassed by your choices and clearly small children annoy him.
So vote with your feet and don't stay again. If you want to maintain a relationship, keep visits short, especially when DC are young.

Horrible man, you were right to leave first thing. Hope you can still do something nice over the weekend with the kids.

I wouldn't be in a rush to contact him. Let him stew. He doesn't sound like he would be a great loss.

I'd go low contact by phone/text only going forward, definitely no physical visits with your children as your Dad is a violent impatient twat.

Exactly this. He will just DARVO the fuck out of it.

Just give it some time and ket everyone cool down. His words were very hurtful, but i think he had reached the end of his patience with them!
Had he already told gour ds off for playing with the chair mechanism? I thinknit might also be worth reflecting on whether your dad has a point about your kids behaviour.

No absolutely do not start an email exchange over what did or did not happen and why. That will diminish the firm action that the OP has taken and descend into an interminable and undignified exchange of who did what and why.

The OP has been strong and protected her family. It’s for her father to make a move and apologise: he knows exactly what for. If he doesn’t, then that’s up to him.

I wouldn't bother reaching out to him. He made the mistake and owes you and your family an apology.

However, you can expect to see flying pigs before you ever get one. In fact I guarantee that to him the story will become that YOU owe HIM an apology for leaving early/disrespecting him/insert other offense.

Does he bring anything positive to your life? Your family? If not, consider just not instigating communication and see how long it is before he reaches out. I bet you'll have a long, long time of peace.

You could message or call him later and say that you also acted on what you think and feel. You think that he's not a nice or safe person towards normal small child behaviour and you feel his reaction to both you and your children was unhinged and bonkers. He's not the only person entitled to thoughts and feelings. It's a mad excuse from a grown man anyway. We all have weird thoughts and feelings at times. Not acting on them all is maturity and self controlled.

I would have left after he pulled my child off the sofa. You’ve done the right thing by leaving. He has no intention of apologising- that’s on him

Well done for leaving. It is showing your children that aggressive behaviour is not acceptable.

As for the next step, then I guess an email telling him what he did wrong, as he clearly thinks his behaviour is acceptable, then either he apologises, or you will probably go no-contact (NC) for a long time.

Perhaps something like "Dad, I made the decision to leave as your behaviour was aggressive. DS was merely using your reclining chair, and you choose to physically assault him. Your actions were completely out of order, you frightened him, and you owe him an apology. As a good and caring parent, I do not want my children growing up thinking violent, aggressive and bullying behaviour is acceptable. Children need to learn right from wrong, and your behaviour was wrong"

Well done for leaving OP. I cannot get over putting hands around a five year old's neck, even as "play fighting". They are so small at that age. Your dad sounds awful.

I would never go back there again. If my father put his hands round my childs throat or slung my child off a chair by his leg and arm that would be it. He wouldnt see us again. He has uncontrolled anger issues.
How does he expect children to behave? Stand like statues? Bloody hell.

Well thats a load of shit

"I'm not sure what you want me to say to you but I can only say what I think and feel and that's what I did."

He could have done a thousand things other than what he did

Leave and never see him again. He's a monster. Hope you're all right this morning x

He sounds like he totally lost it over nothing at all. Perhaps he spent more time with his own kids when they were small he would be able to remember what it was like.

I would not be in a rush to go back and visit any time soon that is for sure. If you decide to see him again then could you meet at an attraction halfway so he doesnt feel that it is his turf so to speak.

This completely.

He needs to realise his actions of dragging a child is completely unacceptable and a hard boundary for you. He also needs to realise that shouting, swearing and storming about is also unacceptable when you challenged him on it later.

Until he does realise this and apologise then you simply ignore all aspects until he has reflected.
Sounds like his wife might also have some words for him too.

But you have done the first main step of showing him its not acceptable by leaving which probably has taken him aback.

Dear God had he been drinking?

Then you can only do the same as him, which you have by leaving and sending a clear message about his behaviour. Block his number for now so you don't need to be distracted by his noise. Take some time out and enjoy time with your boys.

Well done OP.

I hope you can salvage a nice weekend out of this.