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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Social media has ruined my concentration and changed my personality.

272 replies

ADHD89 · 10/04/2026 22:01

To think that social media, Instagram, Tiktok, YouTube, Facebook ,Mumsnet , Reddit , Chatgpt, etc have totally ruined my concentration span and now make reading/concentrating on a book or a movie really unappealing and uninteresting ?
I am much more interested in watching 2 minute reels, then reading through comments, and basically finding out about all sorts of topics and going down rabbit holes etc. I also enjoy reading dilemmas on Facebook groups and on mumsnet and seeing what people say. I also use Chatgpt alot as like a regular counsellor.
It makes me sad as I used to be such a book lover when I was younger and I watched about 4 or 5 movies at the weekend when I was younger..its like I've completely changed involuntarily.
Anyone else feel the same?

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DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 10/04/2026 23:15

I never got into Insta TikTok Snap etc because I didn't understand the point and I recognised that they were not good systems and I didn't want to have these apps pinging at me all day.

Luckily I have kept the worst off FB and Twitter. I have turned off notifications for both.
I make myself read the newspaper (online ofc) before I go on social media.

I still struggle to read a book for a long time, but I do read every day, and really, honestly it's not irreversible and if you actually want to do something about it then you can

Digital detox / diet (doesn't have to be nothing)
Limit your SM time
Read more
No screen time after 9/10pm

These behaviours are addictive so I don't judge anyone getting caught up in it, but I believe you can overcome them and I do judge (privately, in my mind I mean!) people who recognise the problem and don't try to change like my DH

RafaistheKingofClay · 10/04/2026 23:13

I stopped watching short form stuff about 6 weeks ago because of this. If it’s less than 5 mins I try not to watch it now.

Am also trying more to focus on just one thing. But had less success with that. So I can be on the phone/check SM but if I’m doing that, that’s the thing I am focused on. I’m not doing it while doing something else.

AuraBora · 10/04/2026 23:09

Yep am exactly the the same. Keep trying to change but struggling. So following here for tips and inspiration.

For me, it's mostly with Mumsnet at night after putting dcs to bed..haha!

This is why I worry so much for kids on phones and aocial media l, and mine will not be allowed anything but a brick phone to 16,maybe starting from 11ish..

My daughter is ao creative and doing endless stuff that does not involve a screen and I'd be so sad to see that change..

Im trying at least to not use my phone much around DCs.. but after bedtime I cannot bloody put it down unless im engrossed in a TV programme!

Pile of about 10 books sitting next to bed..I used to love novels!

It's awful.

YerMotherWasAHamster · 10/04/2026 23:09

Yes, i am the same. Its entirely my own fault. I am in control of what I choose to watch and I've let it get to this point. Nobody to blame but myself. I could retrain myself if I chose to.

I'm still going to scroll through YouTube shorts of cute cat videos in bed tonight instead of reading pride and prejudice though.

RedRiverShore6 · 10/04/2026 23:05

I have found that since MN has broken for me on my phone and iPad, it keeps freezing up, it has helped no end as I can only use it on my iMac so I have to get up and sit at the table to use it so no scrolling in front of the telly.

Pudmyboy · 10/04/2026 23:05

ADHD89 · 10/04/2026 22:11

It's crap isn't it! I have about 4 library books sitting there that I borrowed, they've been there for months and months. I borrowed them as they sounded good from the back cover but literally have no inclination to lift one up and start reading so they just gather dust and end up overdue.
But give me the mumsnet active conversation screen and I could happily sit engaged on that for hours.

A bit of an aside, but, I hope you are renewing your library books to avoid a fine; or does that not happen any more? To my shame I have not borrowed a book from a library for decades!

JudgeJ · 10/04/2026 23:00

ADHD89 · 10/04/2026 22:11

It's crap isn't it! I have about 4 library books sitting there that I borrowed, they've been there for months and months. I borrowed them as they sounded good from the back cover but literally have no inclination to lift one up and start reading so they just gather dust and end up overdue.
But give me the mumsnet active conversation screen and I could happily sit engaged on that for hours.

Maybe that shows that MN doesn't need much effort, it's fairly mindless, whereas reading and comprehending need effort!
I use my Kindle a lot to read, especially in bed, and I drive myself mad going to the Internet facility to check things I've read, eg Is that a real place, restaurant etc..

Crushed23 · 10/04/2026 22:58

I can’t get over how much better at therapy I find Chatgpt than actual therapists. Did not see that coming.

NerdyBird · 10/04/2026 22:57

Yes, for me it started more during lockdown. I was working at home but really busy. Then in the evenings scrolling through various platforms, reading the news etc to keep up with what was going on. Just got into the habit of constantly having phone in hand. It’s definitely not helped my concentration along with perimenopause. I want to change but it takes a lot of effort and I’m just so tired! I did read a book the other week though.

JudgeJ · 10/04/2026 22:56

BengalBangle · 10/04/2026 22:10

Me, too. It's totally my own fault.

If you. and many others it seems, have this problem and you know it's you're own fault then surely you have the ability to cure it by stepping away from excessive SM use.

Buffalogruffalo · 10/04/2026 22:55

Me too op 😢

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 22:52

Yanbu

Same and I'm sad about it.

OverthinkerExtrodinaire · 10/04/2026 22:51

Absolutely.

I bought an old fashioned flip phone with the intention of not having a smartphone but realised how much I used my smartphone day to day....to pay for parking on the apps, to check in electronically at work etc...and couldn't survive without sadly.

BogRollBOGOF · 10/04/2026 22:51

I've got better in recent years.
Blackberries/ smartphones came out in my baby/ night feeds/ toddler stage of life and the years of tiredness took a toll on my attention span for reading anyway. In late pregnancy with my first, I'd wake hourly in pain and lost the ability to read books or even multi-page spreads in magazines in the last couple of weeks. Content on a backlit device that could be held in one hand and easily picked up/ down suited that stage of life. I was a bit late to the smartphone party so my DCs were about 4/ 2 when I did get a smartphone so that held of their exposure. Sometimes it's good to be slightly luddite Grin

A few years ago I started using the time at DCs' activities to read without the distraction of being at home, and getting some reliable blocks of reading time in helped me to pick up books again at home. This week I've been on A/L and have read over 1000 pages of two books, one I've read previously and the other the new sequal that follows on so I've been reading in the past month to get that trilogy fresh in my head for completion. Prior to that I'd use time at one activity to sew the scouting badges and had a portable sewing kit for that so could get through 3-4 badges in an hour.

I don't watch many videos on my phone and tend to watch longer youtube on the TV which feels more intentional. I watch little short-form content. MN is my big time-sink but at least it's usually decently written and in paragraphs.

To reclaim attention span, you need to make it more easy and appealing to not be distracted. The teenagers at work are often stunned that I'm happy to go 8 hours without looking at my phone at work. It's a habit I'm used to. My family know to contact the office for an emergency so there's nothing pressing that means I need to check it.

JaceLancs · 10/04/2026 22:49

I spend far too much time on my phone - but can still devour a good book - especially if im
on holiday - I have kindle unlimited and am a quick reader so manage a book a day for a pool or beach holiday - at home only read much on a weekend so maybe 2 books a month

Somerdays · 10/04/2026 22:49

I got back into reading lots by putting my phone on black and white mode, as colour increases the dopamine hits, and I hid the apps I found addictive, so I have to put my password in before opening them, because I found I was opening them on autopilot without even thinking. Also spending more time outdoors in the fresh air.

I also bought a Kindle, which give a bit of a phone-like dopamine hit, and started by rereading something I remembered loving, and then reading fast moving, fairly short books.

Also, get your eyes tested! Reading is harder than doom scrolling if you need glasses or a stronger prescription.

Our brains are massively adaptable and you can totally turn this round. Make successive small changes.

TheDenimPoet · 10/04/2026 22:38

Honestly, same. Set yourself time limits on your phone - even better, get rid of them completely. If you really can't do that, then the time limits are really helpful. I allow myself 15 minutes per day on Facebook and Instagram, and it allows me to sit and read, or watch a film, or go for a walk, without being tempted to get my phone out. It makes a huge difference!

ratherfarther · 10/04/2026 22:35

MaltLoaf27 · 10/04/2026 22:23

Buy a Brick and block the Internet on your phone. Did it a month ago and I'm never going back! I used to feel like this and now I don't.

@MaltLoaf27
How/why are you on MN then?
sorry i don’t mean that to sound snippy!

Goblinkingsqueen · 10/04/2026 22:31

I find if I'm doing something creative with my hands, such as painting or knitting, that stops the urge to look at my phone almost completely.

Sortingmyself · 10/04/2026 22:28

Same OP. I loved reading but over the last few years, I really struggle to read a book or magazine, I struggle to concentrate on anything that requires more than a few minutes of concentration! I'm mid 50s and though it was just brain fog/menopause but now I'm not so sure.

EveyHammond · 10/04/2026 22:26

and i love mumsnet for the very detailed threads which are not many as most posters responses are more like mini paras

EveyHammond · 10/04/2026 22:25

For me not so much documentaries but i love grok and chatgpt for indepth discussions and research

MaltLoaf27 · 10/04/2026 22:23

Buy a Brick and block the Internet on your phone. Did it a month ago and I'm never going back! I used to feel like this and now I don't.

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