To ask to do some washing?

Wow, what a very weird person. I’d be checking into a hotel for the rest of the stay.

My friend was over from NZ last year. She used our machine every couple of days and did my washing as well…absolutely fantastic guest imho

how did they expect you to wash your clothes ? wave a magic wand ?

I'm glad you went to the laundrette anyway despite the arsey comments.

If she wasn't dead I would have thought you were staying with my MIL, this was exactly the sort of thing she'd be difficult about. She had a holiday cottage and kept insisting that we went to stay there and "make the most of it". It was a long drive and annual leave is limited so we kept politely refusing but eventually agreed. We ended up setting off a day later than planned as she hadnt finished making a pair of curtains she wanted us to take and put up. Then told us we needed to take our own bedding and towels and not use anything there. Told not to run the washing machine or dishwasher. As soon as we arrived the phone was ringing with a list of jobs - build a flatpack shed, put up a washing line, m stay in all day because someone was coming to read the meter ... some holiday! When we got back and dropped the keys off she said she was "thinking of charging us" for the stay (she was a millionaire). I "jokingly" said she could offset it against our invoice for all the odd jobs we'd done and she sulked but didn't mention it again. When she invited us to use it again we declined!

Some people like the idea of being generous but then resent it almost straight away. It's exhausting.

Agreed. We're actually staying with the ILs this week and when I got up this morning FIL had put a wash on for us (I'd left a bag of laundry to do in the bathroom as I was going to put it on today) and hung it all up outside to dry. I always ask (out of politeness) but they always say to just treat it as our home too.

Is it your DHs parents OP?

They sound fucking deranged. Sorry.

They sound like tight-fisted twats and I wouldn't bother visiting them again. Why invite people to stay and then make them feel unwelcome?

Im speechless. I’ve always offered to do washing for anyone staying with us, and made it clear that they have full use of our washing machine if they would prefer to do their own. I can see why this would have soured your visit and don’t blame you for not going back.

How did they think you would have chosen clothes for the duration of the stay?
What did you say in answer to their huff about the launderette?

Wow, 100% of 99 votes so far on YANBU.

We always did a load of washing when staying at MiLs if it was more than a few days. She'd also move it on to the line/ dryer when ready if we weren't around when the cycle finished.

They're just being miserly, and it does sour relationships.

Don't think I could be arsed to travel all that way in future for this kind of person.

Wow, your parents got the huff because you wanted to use the washing machine. This is beyond ridiculous.

That's very odd. For a week's stay I'd happily let a guest put on a wash. I'd see it as part of the deal, like making cups of tea. It's not like a wash even costs that much compared to things like food!
I wouldn't flounce though like some people seem to want

Are you planning to do a full load?

I had a guest who ran the washing machine daily with just the clothes they had worn the previous day!!

If possible, I'd be leaving their house and either staying elsewhere till your flights, or changing the fights and enjoy the weekend at home.

Unless they have a dead body in their machine or thought you might see old knickers in their utility, its very odd. Do you have babies and they thought you might put soiled nappies/clothes in there? I can't think of any other reason for being so odd about it all.

I'd never have them stay at your place going forward either.

If I am putting a load of washing on, I always ask guests if they have anything to wash.

I am not sure I could stay there after this.

When we stay at FIL's, I do a wash pretty much every day! We have two messy kids and DH changes his t-shirt several times a day over there (very hot weather), plus I wash all the towels as I suspect they hang in the bathroom for months until we're there!

I can't imagine begrudging a visitor the use of my washing machine and certainly not then being rude about them using the launderette! I can however imagine my SIL doing so 😁and also then getting on the phone telling everyone about my audacity.

This is a bit extreme… and also, this is exactly what you should do, OP.

I can't imagine inviting anyone to stay and then begrudging them the use of my washing machine. They are definitely being the unreasonable ones. Maybe they have got frustrated and resentful at having people in their space so are looking for any flimsy reason to complain.

What relation is it?

Who are these people to you? That is really really odd and unkind behaviour of them. I have an old friend from primary school who moved to the US when we were 11. We are now mid thirties. He comes over to Scotland to travel round it a bit every few years, and always makes time to visit where I am. He comes round for a coffee to do a wash! It has never occurred to me to even question that because of course he does! It’s totally normal. And he isn’t even staying with me! Your family are really unkind.

I’m not sure what you’re taking advantage of. Having been there the week, I presume you’re already using the water and the electric 🤩.
I think they’ve got arsey after the conversation because on reflection, they know they’re being ridiculous . They said they’ve been made to feel bad. No one can make us feel bad, more so if we don’t. But they clearly do.
id move on from it, finish the week and as you say, stay elsewhere next time. Maybe a week for all of you together has just been too much for all of you, particularly if you’re not used to being together anyway