AIBU to ask about sudden fear of boarding trains and standing near platform edges

Hi 👋
sounds like intrusive thoughts - OCD type
you have a history of anxiety
peri
recent stress
this would give the vulnerability for increase in intrusive thoughts -
we all get them but most of time can dismiss them -
as it is affecting your life I would suggest seek a therapist who is CBT trained and familiar with standard treatment for OCD intrusive thoughts -

I fell down the gap once when I was a teenager getting on a busy train for school (well I think in likelihood just my legs and sat hard on the platform edge). People pulled me back up again. My leg was a bit bruised but it was fine 🤷‍♀️ it's not like you get electrocuted or anything.

I’m the same. So scared of the gap. Have you tried Passenger Assistance? They will provide a ramp to get you on the train if you book via the app. All fre

It's too difficult to get out of this mindset on your own OP, please make an appointment with your GP to get CBT. Trust me, I've been there and it's the best way to resolve your anxiety.

I get this sometimes

I'm a londoner but act like I've never been on the tube in my life the way I shepherd dd on and off the train 🙈

Maybe its just normal? Similar to getting anxious about driving

No advice really but you’re not alone, I have the same fear, came out of nowhere 5/6 ago. I have to do a running jump on and off trains, I commuted through London every day for 26 years without this fear so I don’t know why I’ve now developed it.
I got other fears aswell, flying, walking under a certain bridge near my house. The only connection I can come up with is it started during the Covid lockdown, maybe spending every day focusing on how many people were dying wasn’t great for our mental wellbeing.

I avoid the deep lines too.

I got the heel of a stiletto stuck in the grooves of the old wooden escalators on the Central Line many years ago and as I was struggling to pull it free I had visions of being sucked under when I got to the top. Obviously I wouldn't have been, but I was starting to panic. I have never got past that.

I have been vv anxious about escalators and stairs for 15-20 years. I live in London and plan journeys around where there are lifts at train and tube stations I get on or off at or need to change lines at it. All my friends and colleagues know about this limitation and are used to me waiting for lifts rather than zipping up stairs or escalators
Getting on trains I am getting better at, helps if I am wearing plimsolls or trainers, that somehow makes me feel more safe when getting on or off a train .
I think this part of my phobia got worse after my DH did actually fall between the train and the platform when getting on a train. He suffered broken bones, but was lucky not to have been more seriously injured...

Get Some counselling before it turns into a real phobia. Don’t delay.
find a therapist that offers EMDR as well.

I only realised this with hindsight but for me this random anxiety was peri menopause and it lifted once I started HRT.

I know I will get some people rolling their eyes at this and saying everything is now about menopause but this one was for me

I was going to ask if you'd had any stress or trauma recently, as I have all sorts of weird intrusive thoughts and "obsessions" since several close together bereavements and other huge unwanted life changes.

Lots if good advice here, so just wanted to add support and solidarity. Our brains can be treachorous things and extremely unhelpful sometimes even when it's allegedly trying to protect us.

I'm working on how to leave the house without obsessively checking the door is locked and nothing is on fire. Stupidest thing is I know it's irrational overkill even as I'm doing it 😂 so once again, you have my sympathy, and I hope things level out for you soon xxxx

I had a cousin who suddenly developed this. Was an issue for months until he decided he was going to force himself to confront it. He went down to London for a day with his girlfriend and they spent the day just getting on and off trains on the underground all day, switching lines etc. Because he didn't have to be on a specific train to be on, it didn't mind if he failed a couple of times, and by the end of the day he'd basically desensitised himself to it.

How old are you? This sort of spatial disorientation can hit around menopause. I'm fine with trains, for me it's driving on fast roads with elevated sections, where I feel like I'm going to fall off the edge of the road and over the edge. I deal with it by looking at the road ahead, not sideways, and staying in the inside lane, preferably sheltering behind a steady lorry. I think if it's a very specific situation it's probably best dealt with through practical tips of this kind that help you get through your particular situation. Good luck, it's horrible to deal with.

When my anxiety gets bad I get things like that - for about a year I couldn't use lifts or go on the tube at all because I suddenly developed fears of them, and also hated the long escalators. I went on medication for generalised anxiety and was amazed one day that I took a tube trip without thinking twice about it - only realised later that it coincided with starting medication.

It’s wide enough for your legs to slip through. That happened to me years ago as a teenager just as the train was beginning to pull off - old style slam door train though, I guess new ones won’t pull off until all doors auto close, which is obviously a lot safer now!
@InterviewGhostis it possible that it actually might be vertigo or something like that? At least to start with, which then caused the intrusive thoughts? Possibly some kind of sinus/ear infection?

Do see your GP about the dizziness, OP. That needs investigating.

Other than that, I had a similar experience (but without dizziness) for months after my mother died, suddenly and unexpectedly during a period when many other things were going wrong in my life.

In my case, I had great difficulty crossing roads, paralysed by fear and anxiety. It gradually wore off as I got my life back on course. I hope the same happens for you, OP.

This same fear has affected me for the past few years. I had attributed it to old age & the loss of balance that that brings but it seems from this thread that others experience it as well. My main tactics are:-

• Never ever look at the train as it comes into the station. It's movement beside me makes the dizzy sensation much worse. I turn my back on it and wait as far from the platform edge as possible.

• Once I hear the train is at a halt I scuttle towards a door where other people are waiting to board (safety in numbers 😀!)

• As the doors open I focus my eyes intently & solely on the grab handle inside. When it's my turn to get on I grip that handle tightly before I attempt to step across the dreaded gap.

My sympathies @InterviewGhost because it's a really unnerving & horrible feeling.

I once dropped my purse on the track when getting off a train. Station staff sorted it quickly once the train left,and I was soon reunited with it.

hi
i have exactly the same fear i also had a fear of going down stairs. I’ve been seeing a therapist who has helped me change in my head why I am frightened of stairs
. The fear of getting on trains is something we are working on

I hope things get better soon! Mine lasted for years, not every time I used them but enough that it was annoying and inconvenient. Do whatever you can for your anxiety in the meantime - exercise, sleep, fresh air, no booze, see GP if you haven't already, etc.

CBT was brilliant for other intrusive thoughts I’ve had in the past.