Page 9 | To think every woman should have at least £20,000 in savings she can access independently?

AmusedPlumMember · 2026-04-07T15:27:10+00:00

I’m going to be quite direct here. I personally think every woman should aim to have at least £20,000 in savings that she can access independently, whether that’s in an ISA or another account. For me, it’s about having a level of financial security and not being completely reliant on anyone else, even in a committed relationship. I know that won’t be achievable for everyone at all times but as a principle it feels important. AIBU to think that’s just sensible or am I being unrealistic?

Passingthrough123 · 07/04/2026 17:00

How do you think women on low income/UC or financially abused women will feel reading your post, knowing that 20k in savings would be beyond their wildest dreams?

I can't decide if you're just out of touch or if you're being deliberately goady.

Statsquestion1 · 07/04/2026 17:00

Parker231 · 07/04/2026 16:56

If your DC’s needed the money for a special school trip, driving lessons or additional money for Uni, would you still put it in your pension?

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If we were that broke and it was a decision between boosting my pension or paying for a trip we can’t afford. I would boost my pension yes.

drippingsap · 07/04/2026 16:59

The best way to financial independence is a job.

Statsquestion1 · 07/04/2026 16:58

@AmusedPlumMember i have always had my own savings, as does my dh. We also have joint savings. But I’m very aware we are in a privileged position. I bought a new car last month, my friend said to me “how did you get your dh to come round to that idea?” I had to politely tell her it wasn’t decision with my own money, she couldn’t quite get her head around that. A lot of families pool everything.

Original poster

AmusedPlumMember · 07/04/2026 16:57

Spaghettea · 07/04/2026 16:55

Many women could never squirrel away that much.

You're not allowed to have savings over 16k on universal credit (that's never been increased in line with inflation for 13yrs which is another problem brewing). Any savings over 6k mean your universal credit is reduced, how would a woman explain that to her partner?

I agree the UC thresholds make things much more complicated. I don’t think it’s something that would be possible or even appropriate in situations like that. I was thinking more generally about the principle of having some level of independent financial security where circumstances allow, rather than something that applies in every situation.

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canisquaeso · 07/04/2026 16:56

lol

YANBU but sadly we don’t live in la la land

bestcatlife · 07/04/2026 16:56

20k does not = financial independence… especially not in the current climate

Tiddlywinkly · 07/04/2026 16:56

Indianajet · 07/04/2026 16:36

You sound completely out of touch with the real world.

This.

In an ideal world, I agree with you, but it's wildly out of touch.

Parker231 · 07/04/2026 16:56

Statsquestion1 · 07/04/2026 16:53

I had an 8k bonus from work last month. I put it into my pension…my dc have no idea about it. Why should I have spent it on them? They are fine

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If your DC’s needed the money for a special school trip, driving lessons or additional money for Uni, would you still put it in your pension?

thatsgotit · 07/04/2026 16:55

You left out the bit about a pink unicorn being a must-have essential for every woman, OP.

Spaghettea · 07/04/2026 16:55

Many women could never squirrel away that much.

You're not allowed to have savings over 16k on universal credit (that's never been increased in line with inflation for 13yrs which is another problem brewing). Any savings over 6k mean your universal credit is reduced, how would a woman explain that to her partner?

bestcatlife · 07/04/2026 16:55

Hmm. Money means nothing if you’re wanting to private rent and no landlord will accept you. If you have a mortgage and have 20k in the bank that’s very different and you have a good amount for emergencies.

Parker231 · 07/04/2026 16:54

AmusedPlumMember · 07/04/2026 16:49

It would depend on the situation to be honest.
I wouldn’t automatically put it all in one place or the other, it’s about balancing things. Sometimes that might go towards family, sometimes towards savings. I don’t really see it as a strict either/or.

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My money would always go first to benefit DC’s but then I have always had access to all family money, savings and investments so no need to squirrel away money.

LifeBeginsToday · 07/04/2026 16:54

At almost 40 I have just got to the point where I can put away £100pm so might have £20k by 55 if nothing crops up before then.

Statsquestion1 · 07/04/2026 16:53

Parker231 · 07/04/2026 16:45

So if you had an additional £1,000 as a bonus from work, you would add it to your personal account rather than spend it on your DC’s?

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I had an 8k bonus from work last month. I put it into my pension…my dc have no idea about it. Why should I have spent it on them? They are fine

PeonyPatch · 07/04/2026 16:53

Completely out of touch. I’m a low income woman with student debt. I don’t even have 5% if that in my savings

LateIn · 07/04/2026 16:53

Not necessarily £20,000 but financial independence.

But not just women. Men too. Everyone needs some financial independence.

My DS is in a gay relationship. I’ve encourage him to make sure he has a secure job and financial independence.

clumsyknees · 07/04/2026 16:52

Presumably ‘every woman’ doesn’t include women who are on universal credit, as that would take them over their savings limit.

It also wouldn’t include women on low incomes who barely make ends meet each month. Assuming someone could even save £50 a month, it would take them 33 years to save this amount.

It sounds as though you don’t know how the real world works.

GrandmasCat · 07/04/2026 16:52

AmusedPlumMember · 07/04/2026 16:44

£20k was just an example of a level that would feel like a meaningful buffer to me, not a hard rule. I agree it depends entirely on personal circumstances and for some people even a much smaller amount would still serve the same purpose.

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I expect you are going to get a lot of responses like mine as you established in your title that every woman should have at least £20,000, which for many people may be the household income.

I have felt safe having £5k in the bank and unsafe with over £20k, it all depends on your income, unavoidable expenses, risks and current circumstances. You may feel you can do a lot with £20k, some people can do more with far less or see £20k as not enough to pay the rent for 6 months.

Original poster

AmusedPlumMember · 07/04/2026 16:51

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/04/2026 16:47

Then why did you suggest a specific amount?

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That’s fair, I probably shouldn’t have framed it as a fixed amount. I meant it more as a personal benchmark of what would feel like a meaningful buffer to me, rather than something I think everyone should be able to reach.

OP posts:

Original poster

AmusedPlumMember · 07/04/2026 16:49

Parker231 · 07/04/2026 16:45

So if you had an additional £1,000 as a bonus from work, you would add it to your personal account rather than spend it on your DC’s?

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It would depend on the situation to be honest.
I wouldn’t automatically put it all in one place or the other, it’s about balancing things. Sometimes that might go towards family, sometimes towards savings. I don’t really see it as a strict either/or.

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ValidPistachio · 07/04/2026 16:49

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/04/2026 16:47

Then why did you suggest a specific amount?

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A stealth boast?

Cheesegrapeschutney · 07/04/2026 16:48

Unfortunately I think £20k is so unachievable for the majority that the message would be counter-productive, as it would suggest to women that you won't succeed in leaving a bad relationship without that amount behind you. I agree with the PP who said we should be encouraging girls to get qualified and experienced (and keep their hand in once they do get established) in the first instance (and obviously just hugely strengthening the networks and systems that mean women do have the opportunity to leave if they need to - addressing the factors around custody etc that mean they end up trapped). Emergency savings starting at £500 would be more realistic

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/04/2026 16:47

AmusedPlumMember · 07/04/2026 16:45

On that kind of income it’s not realistic at all. My point was more about the principle of having your own financial buffer where possible, rather than expecting everyone to reach a specific amount.

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Then why did you suggest a specific amount?

Original poster

AmusedPlumMember · 07/04/2026 16:47

DarmokAndJaladAtTenagra · 07/04/2026 16:42

Aside from this not being achievable for a significant amount of people, 39% of UK adults have less than £1k in savings.

But all women? A woman in a non-abusive, loving, stable, decades long marriage where the couple have completely joint finances should have a £20k put aside which the husband isn't allowed to question or access?

"Sorry DH, I know we'd like to give our DC a house deposit, but we can't because that money is set aside for me incase I need to leave you"

"Sorry DH, I know we'd like to travel to see DC in Australia, but we can't because that money is set aside for me incase I need to leave you"

DH might need his own £20k exit fund!

I don’t see it as something that has to be hidden or taken away from shared decisions like that. It’s more about having some level of personal financial security alongside joint finances, rather than prioritising one over the other. And I do get the point that what that looks like will vary a lot depending on people’s circumstances and relationships.

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