To think every woman should have at least £20,000 in savings she can access independently?

As an ideal I don’t think it is unreasonable at all.

Of course most women can’t have that. But the point is to see having a private savings account, to have ready to use in the case of abuse, say, as being at least allowable.
(i.e Not the same as being selfish with family money.)

My not rich mil told not rich me I should have this. She called it ‘Running Away Money”. Presumably it was an idea from her own patriarchal era.

Personal financial security is a great idea. The problem is that those most in need of it probably have least chance of achieving it, either because they don't have spare cash to save or they're in a financially controlled relationship. Or both. If you're married assets are shared. Ideally everyone would have a 3/6 month cushion but savings affect access to Universal Credit. Also, if you've any awareness of economics, you will know that lower income households spend a greater proportion of their income on basics - housing, fuel, food. Savings are a luxury and well down the list of priorities.

I think every man and woman should have their own separate bank account and income.

They should also both have a savings account and the other person should not know how much is in there.

However, £20k is completely unrealistic.
The majority of people would never be able to save that in their lifetime.

If I could save £20k I’d have a deposit for a house already.

I think women often allow themselves to be put at a disadvantage by having shared accounts and not having their own income.
They’re happy to not work for years and use their DHs money but then they become stuck and then struggle to leave.

I see what you’re saying and agree but think £20k is unrealistic.

Some savings are better than nothing and if you can’t save much, then having an emergency credit card is a good idea too.

I’m glad you posted that, saved me trying to explain that a percentage of men would be advised the same. But I think it’s unrealistic for anyone to have that level of savings if they are the lower earner or SAHP.

This

I agree you should not need an escape fund. Savings on the other hand for both of you are important.

Perhaps a better point would be that everyone's financial knowledge should be better and clarity from day one as to how finances in a household will be handled. Never have all your eggs in one basket and know your rights.

What about if COL goes up and your salary increases doesn’t? Do you dip into savings as well as make savings? Because we all know you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. I know a woman who has her own business, she was diagnosed with cancer last year but is in remission, however she’s going through litigation through a bitter ex employee which is costing her company dearly. She probably has savings but… and her DH works for his dad who’s a famous artist. But not paid well.

My DH and I share everything including pension lump sums and inheritance. I don’t feel the need for a separate escape fund. As others have said it’s also just not doable for many people.

😆😆

Great! I’ll send you my PayPal link, ping it over to me.

I’m a lot more financially comfortable now and I don’t disagree that spare money gives you choices. I do have some spare money, and that’s 99% down to dumb luck (the 1% is that when I was boracic, I did live roughly within my means and did my utmost to work as much as I could. But if I’d become disabled like my Dh, that would have stymied that one).

I think it’s been made clear that the figure you touted isn’t appropriate for everyone. It might be better framed as ‘in partnership, both partners should have equal savings in their own names, alongside any joint savings’. Which would be fair.

But more importantly, women should carefully consider their choices around childrearing and ensure they maintain their earning capacity once they have children. It’s the old ‘give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach them to fish and they’ll never be hungry’. Savings will only last a short time, it’s having the capacity to build and maintain a good life on your own if needed that matters most.

Lol x
Tell us another funny?

When DH was growing up my MIL was very much a my money is my money person.She had a substantial inheritance & if ever there was an argument with my FIL it was always a case of I'm taking my money & leaving. My DH hated it & felt she used it like a weapon. He swore when we got married it would always be 'our' money & to this day thats exactly how it is including his now shared inheritance from the sale of their house. I'm fortunate that I have never for a second doubted my marriage would last & would hate to live with the thought in my head. A separate marriage failure account wouldn't work for either of us.

Yet another goadey MN post - so boring!

Well I have that but mostly from inheritances as I never earned that much to save when I was younger.

DB and SIL have mostly wiped out their significant savings due to buying a house last year. Knowing SIL she’ll be saving soon which is good.

I haven't but I have credit card with space on it and I could easily borrow cash if I needed to. I am financially independent though and my job can be done from anywhere so I'd be fine.

I am stunned. In a country where most people are just about scraping by you think that women should somehow be able to acrue that level of personal savings with ease?

I don’t know why you’ve picked £20k out of the clear blue sky, but otherwise yes I agree with you. While DH and I consider all money ‘ours’ in the bigger scheme, both he and I have savings pots that the other can’t access, in addition to our joint savings account. Our ‘personal’ pots may be dipped into for joint big expenses, but they also exist so we can both have some financial autonomy if it were ever necessary.

I did even post kids - have 40 K in my accounts - more together- then we bought a house. Left some over - house and the pre house kids have slowly drained all the savings I have in my name - and then stuff happens when I do get some and that goes.

As a couple we have some - not as much as I'd expect given our ages - and we have some mortgage left. We haven't ever inherited anything - and not clear we ever will - and paid for our house depoists and wedding ourselves.

@Octavia6420k and a job doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to get a rental.

Chance would be a fine thing… Many women don’t even earn this in a year. Women have always been more likely to work in low income, part time or temporary/unstable jobs. They pretty much always bear the brunt of children. There’s actually little scope for ANYONE to save 20k and keep it there as a nice cushion. You’d have to be immensely privileged.

If you started a thread saying you thought that everyone who had any spare cash at the end of the month should stash it away in an emergency account, you would have sounded fairly reasonable, if incredibly patronising. But you started with an unworkable premise and it’s gone downhill from there.

Do you think that you’re the only one it has occurred to that having a few quid in savings is a good idea? Even us poor people understand that savings and financial independence is a good thing. It also doesn’t seem to have occurred to you that the people who do have spare money at the end of the month are probably already tucking it away safely, and that if people aren’t doing so, then it’s more than likely because they don’t have any money left to save.

See it, save it, sorted.

when I left my now ExH having a job was much more helpful, meant I could rent a place.
20k and no job will get you rejected from most rentals

This OP makes the one from the other day who was "shocked" that not everyone has a trust fund savings look quite grounded by comparison.