AIBU to feel uneasy about male staff in nurseries?

If parents made their feelings clear, the person would never get to work in the Nursery
People don’t get jobs all the time for all sorts of discriminatory reasons and some of them are utterly illogical.
No Small to medium sized business is going to risk the parents withdrawing.
The large of corporate are in a harder position to implement the unofficial policy doesn’t mean that they don’t, but they are backed to somewhat into a corner with less discretion available to them to act in accordance to the parents preferences
But personally, I would never put my child in a corporate nursery any more than I would my parents in a corporate nursing home

I suppose you would have to ask, and request to be informed if they bring on a male staffer? Unfortunately it would be tricky to ensure, I imagine.

How do people ‘choose a nursery where no men work’? Do you actually ask them if they have a ‘no men’ policy (would this even be legal?) or do you just check the staff page for any men? And if so, what if a staff member gets ill and they get a temp worker in who happens to be male? Or if they happen to employ a man as a permanent employee next month?

Hah! I'm not surprised. Thanks for doing the search and giving me a heads up.

It really shows up their (lack of) argument. All I can conclude is that they're in favour of a higher risk of child rape, because 'menz feelz' as a PP put it.

New people join MN all the time. And existing users may not have read every thread. Or people might want to discuss again.

If you are bored by seeing repeat topics, maybe don’t click on them, or perhaps reflect that you are spending too much time on here.

I shared a link to the statistics, and the source. I'll wait until you've read them, and have something of worth to add to the discussion.

So you have absolutely nothing to back up your claims and your argument is suggesting that the posters that don’t agree with you are psychologically unsound
Gotcha

What a pettily passive-aggressive dodge that is, trying to paint another poster as damaged and thus irrational, while slathering on faux sympathy.

No. All ive seen is you refer to them.

Out of interest, have you ever spoken to a psychiatrist about any of your views? Or an experienced psychologist? Just sat and had a chat with them about how you view the world etc?

Yeah I think the incidence if what you describe to be happening every day is more of an issue than male EY workers sexually abusing children. If you know all this to be the case, I'm surprised you aren't doing more about that. I didnt know things to be that bad.

That would be nice. But given human error and bad actors, we're unlikely to ever reach the stage where safeguarding can stop all abuse before it happens.

Given that, I'm sure most parents would rather their child was being pinched occasionally, rather than raped.

So it makes sense to me to almost entirely eliminate the risk of rape, with the only drawback being that some men don't get to do the job they want (as many people don't!) and children don't get unrelated male role models until primary school.

Why is that not proportionate to you? Why do you want to keep the risk of rape?

Have you read the statistics I shared?

I am prepared to say that the vast, vast majority of young women treat the children decently and do the basics quite well given that after enough training people don't need to be enthusiastic to do certain aspects of their jobs well.
Nappy changing becomes something they can do in their sleep.

(I would not expect miracles and expect them to speak to little Theo in ten different languages so he'll be multi-lingual by the age of 5, though.)

In any case, this is whataboutery.

Oh no you don’t. You referred to a cultural difference where men protected women and children out of chivalry.
Which culture? So that I can dig out the statistics and annihilate you.

It isnt about having safe men, it is about having men who are driven to protect women and children. I'm sorry your father's and male partners have never displayed that trait to you. It must be awful to only know men who want to harm you. You must be very damaged by it.

Leaving your children in the care of strangers put them at risk, this is not new information
Even on the lowest of levels leaving them to cry for longer than they ought to be left
Not feeding them when they’re hungry
Not allowing them to stop eating when they’re full
Forcing them to sleep out of sheer boredom
I’ve stood and watched in playgrounds teachers swinging kids around by the arms hurting them in the full view of all of the parents and all of the teachers
No safeguarding that’s infallible is available other than your children. Don’t leave your side.
We can however reduce the risk of men wanting to interfere with young children sexually so we’re going to do that where we can. If we are a civilised society.

No i think safeguarding should improve to a place where nobody can abuse a child in a nursery. I bet there are far more children getting pinched by a woman today in a nursery than there are men sexually abusing them. The pinching is a bigger and more pressing issue.

Culturally ? Which cultures do you think are the safe men ? I’m fascinated.

No, the one with all the numbers and statistics, here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/5513572-aibu-to-feel-uneasy-about-male-staff-in-nurseries?page=13&reply=151563366&utmcampaign=reply&utmmedium=share

ETA: As I said, my conclusions may be wrong - I'm not the best at maths - but if they're right, I don't think men should be allowed near a nursery.

That's what safeguarding is for. Someone needs to care for children after all, and men pose a risk of both physical abuse, and sexual abuse. Women only really pose a risk of physical abuse, with sexual abuse stats being miniscule.

So it makes sense to eliminate the sexual and physical abuse threat men pose, and to use safeguarding to try to (imperfectly) prevent the physical abuse threat that women pose.

This?

Ok.

I think this might be cultural or something. I am accustomed to chivalry in men. It isnt unproblematic but it is focused around the protection of women and children. I hope you meet better men than your father and male partners.

See my comment up thread, only a couple above the one you quoted.

No men protect women, it’s the biggest load of crap and the biggest lie that they’re trying to perpetuate.
If I’m in an emergency situation including violence, the people that statistically helped me out are other women
Men stand and watch.
Or join in