AIBU to feel uneasy about male staff in nurseries?

That sounds about right you get to chop up women’s genitals and you don’t even need to be qualified

Ive heard that men go into obs and gynae because it is one of the few fields where you do surgery without having to be a surgeon. I dont know how true that is.

they know where the cameras are though I remember picking my youngest up and being told that I could go and breastfeed her on that chair because the cameras weren’t pointed at it
The camera should be rotated daily if not hourly so they never know where those cameras are

I don't trust men working around children, full stop. I used to think differently, but it's clear that they cannot be trusted. Yes, there are also problematic women, but problematic men far outnumber them.

It's more of a risk in nurseries if the children can't speak yet.

I think the answer is that all nurseries should have CCTV in all areas.

What about male paediatricians? Male neonatologists? Do they bother you?

It is different though as all adults inevitably provide personal care in Nursery settings.

I have taught in school Nurseries (so children are 3+) and I once had a male year group partner. He was very uncomfortable having been moved over from Y5, and always asked for a woman to be a second pair of eyes when he provided personal care to cover himself. I felt bad that he felt that way, but also understood he couldn’t take the risk. He was absolutely fabulous as a teacher in Nursery and his class were lucky to have him.

However, I do understand OP’s unease and I think it’s because we view women as natural caregivers and I think it probably accounts for some of the developmental differences between boys and girls. Girls (usually) spend their early years with women as their primary caregivers, seeing their older selves all day long. Boys (usually) will only fleetingly see their fathers in the mornings, evenings and weekend. They will be exposed to their mother, her friends or Nursery based female caregivers all day long. It must be weird for them!

Men in care type environments and settings usually climb the ranks pretty quickly and are off the floor so to speak at lightning speed so you don’t need to worry too much
They won’t actually physically be doing any of the job for very long they’ll be bossing women around as is the natural circle of life apparently no matter which industry

Sure but this has nothing to do with primary school teachers. It’s a completely different context and completely irrelevant to the thread.

My children were lucky enough to have male nursery workers and teachers at primary school. I think men have to work so much harder to prove themselves as carers for children and the ones we had were wonderful. My brother is a primary teacher and loves his job and the children in his classes are very lucky to have him.

I have worked in a playgroup with a male worker. He was lovely and was actually dad to 3 children including a little girl in our group.
Our system for nappies etc was set up so other staff could always see what was going on so children were kept safe from any member of staff that might want to hurt them.
I have wondered what the set up is in some nurseries that other staff don't spot trouble, I think this is more of a problem.

We loved the male staff when the children were in creche.

Tehy bring a dfferent dynamic to the class especially for my boys who were much more rough and tumble then other kids.

It was fanastic for the kids who didnt have present fathers/male role models.

If we are going down the route of no men in caring roles - we need to remove them from nursing homes/hospics/hospitals etc.

Why don't you know men personally who are in caregiving roles?

Why would a male want to work in a nursery?

Why does a female want to work in a nursery?

Well it would be lovely not to have to worry about the dangers posed by men but wishing something doesn’t make it true.

It’s a fact that paedophiles are overwhelmingly male, that paedophiles seek opportunities to access small children, and that there have been several reported instances of male nursery workers sexually assaulting children (likely to be the tip of the iceberg).

You can’t eliminate every risk to your child but avoiding a childcare setting with male staff is a completely legitimate choice to make in the circumstances.

That’s a huge part of the problem, the safeguarding part and it’s what the focus should be on, rather than individual cases or male vs female (that can be tackled afterwards if there’s still a need). A setting where a female worker can suffocate a toddler (or other things that have been in the news), is also a setting where a male worker can sexually abuse said toddler.

This mindset that all males are predators and not to be trusted is very worrying.

Many on mumsnet will have male progeny - how does it feel to know that the men they will become might be regarded in this way?

I have teenage GSs - they are delight - decent kind young men. That others might feel they are a danger to children appals me.

Badly behaved men make the news - the vast majority of decent people just get on with being decent and never make the headlines.

Yes they should be in nurseries and also in primary schools. Many boys struggle with primary and need to have male role models who "get" them and understand their need to learn in a different way to girls.

Yep. Male midwives and gynaecologists also bother me.

Nursery workers less so. They want to work with children. Midwives and gynaecologists want to work with women's intimate parts.
I do think safeguarding in many nurseries and schools is not strong enough though.

Not necessarily, we know that a lot of abusers actively seek roles/positions that give them access to victims. We also know that the vast majority of child sex abusers are male. That doesn’t mean that every man that is interested in children/childcare or that is good with children is an abuser. It just means that there is a higher risk. That’s why the setting is so important, as it mitigates that risk, regardless of how high or low it might be.

DT’s had a male nursery staff member when they were in the baby room and another in the pre school group. Both were excellent and extremely popular with parents and children

Yes but not to disagree with you, more building on what you said by explaining why I think a lot of women feel this way. They dont know men who want to be around even their own kids, so they can't imagine another man choosing to be around children withiut nefarious intentions.

GlovedhandsCecilia

Sorry I actually misread your reply!!

Nonsense. Neither of my DSs had anyone help them toilet when they were in school. It is a very different level of risk.

Mine were fortunately both in nursery years ago and there no male staff at all. I would not have been happy about it if there had been - but DH has far stronger views and we would have made alternative arrangements.

I would never "hire" a babysitter. But I've left my children with male family members and family friends, of course!

GlovedhandsCecilia

Did you quote the wrong person or you talking to me? All I said was men want to work with kids the same reason women do.