AIBU to feel uneasy about male staff in nurseries?

"But it does, quite literally, mean that one is in favour of policies that result in higher levels of sexual abuse of children, as that's the outcome of having male workers in nurseries. It's not my problem if you don't like that"

As previously posted equality legislation In the UK means that you cannot ban men from working in nurseries, whether you like it or not. It's up to nurseries to put appropriate and effective safeguarding measures in place.

You've put words into my mouth there. Like all parents, it's entirely up to you what choices and priorities you make for your own child.

Personally-speaking, we didn't use nurseries or childminders at all for our child; we both went part-time so that we could be with him and care for him ourselves. Naturally, that meant that he was in no danger of any kind of abuse at a nursery; but it also meant that we could direct his learning and experiences ourselves.

A PP said that she would be happy for a bored teenage girl to look after her child - that's fine if it works for her, but this would not have been acceptable for us in preference to an enthusiastic parent being with him all the time in his formative years. That worked great for us; as other parents' choices work great for them.

My children have never been left alone with any male relative but their own father. They did sports with male coaches but when they were 8 or 9. Fully verbal.

They do if the child has Sen

If you're fine with an unnecessary higher risk of sexual abuse, that's your choice. But it does, quite literally, mean that one is in favour of policies that result in higher levels of sexual abuse of children, as that's the outcome of having male workers in nurseries. It's not my problem if you don't like that.

Personally, I didn't send my children to nursery, they just so happened to have female teachers at school (but were verbal by then anyway), and were never alone with male relatives when small except my husband, their father.

Not very, very small.

A study found 1 in 6 Australian men had sexual feeling towards children, and those who had sexual feeling towards children were more likely to work with children than those who didn't.
https://theconversation.com/a-survey-found-1-in-6-men-admit-sexual-feelings-for-children-so-is-paedophilia-increasing-218124

I have a son. He's a tall well-built man who likes to wear black hoodies. I have seen women cross the street when it's dark to move away from him and move closer to other women.

My heart does not bleed for him because statistically, he is more likely to commit sexual assault. I know he won't but how is a random woman expected to know?
I do not care if women are wary of him, and only the most narcissistic mums would expect a stranger to not be wary of their sons.

Ah, I see you replied to a question I asked a different poster so I assumed you were them.

But paedophiles are in a minority - a very very small one. Just because most paedophiles are male still p[represents a very tiny minority of males in general.

We need to keep things in proportion.

Should we say that because a very small minority of say black people commit crimes, then we should be wary of all black people? - that is a horrifying thought that would shock us all. But we are happy to do that to half the population.

The vast majority of men are just fine - they, like us, have their foibles, but they cannot all be tarred with the predatory brush.

Thats a strawman argument, primary school teachers do not wipe children’s genitalia

Present statistics yes but the line you are drawing is not logical it's your own (wrong) opinion!

Would you do the same for a male primary school teacher?

How about a male relative as frankly that's the highest stat of sexual abuse if your trying to use numbers to make absurb statements about parents!

You said the safeguarding policies in a well run nursery mean a male worker is more verified than a family member

Did I? Where? Maybe you have misinterpreted?

We already can't staff nurseries properly without banning males. It's just not particularly popular, and even if we threw money at the sector it'd still be long hours and inflexible. Unrelated men are certainly a greater risk to a child than unrelated women, no getting round that one, but I don't see how this would be workable. Google says it's about 3% of the workforce, but when the majority of settings have vacancies they can't fill that's only exacerbating the problem.

@HangryBrickShark "in reality males are no more risky than females."

They really are. 99% of all pedophiles, rapists and people convicted of other sex crimes are men. They also account for 93% of murder convictions and at least 80% of all violent crimes overall.

I have a son.
I would never have sent my DC to a nursery with male workers. School is different because they were talking by then.
I do not care about the hurt feelings of men, or mums of sons, or giving my children positive male models ( They have a dad).

I think a major issue people have is that nursery workers care for nonverbal children. Older children are less vulnerable, or able to communicate unease about adults around them.

We have had a male aupair and male babysitters, yes.
But ok we are a British/Scandinavian household and I think it's more common with men in childcare in Scandinavian.

So 97% of nursery workers are female and there was one case of a woman committing sexual abuse two decades ago...
3% of nursery workers are male and there have been 4 or 5 convicted in the last couple of years.

Other than my husband, no. Not through particularly needing to try, though – it's just worked out that way. Although once my children were verbal, and understood about 'private parts being private' etc, I felt there was less risk.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-49684939

this was the case

It’s so beneficial for children to have positive ale and female role models. The onus is on nurseries to safeguard effectively, the reality is children come into contact with males throughout their childhood. Teachers , sports coaches etc.

There is a nursery near us and the chef is a man. He had worked there for years and for as long as he has been there I’ve not heard of any issues and they also offer placements to uni students (male and female) and the owners husband runs the office and does the accounts etc…

I’m sure I remember that there was a high profile nursery case somewhere down south involving a female nursery worker tho! I don’t think it’s fair to see it’s just men and that they should be banned. There’s probably some really good male staff out there and just a handful giving them a bad name.

Do you ever allow a male relative to be alone with your child?

I do think that nobody should be performing intimate care on any child alone and this protects both parties.

Except it's very easy to protect them from the risk male nursery workers present, without curtailing their lives and keeping them hidden in the garden at home, by simply banning male nursery workers.

But you've made your position clear; a woman's dignity is worth a man being barred from employment, but not the significantly heightened risk of a child being sexually abused. Fair enough. We'll have to agree to disagree.