AIBU to ask if anyone else does not feel overwhelmed?

If the OP was struggling on top 5% salary, she wouldn't be on here 'not understanding' why some people are stressed.

Hahaha

Your household income is comparatively very high.
Check your privilege as the youngsters say.

Experiment by giving half your take home pay to charity every month and review things in two years' time.

@Statsquestion1i didn't mention anything of savings but clearly £120k is not on the breadline is it? Nobody is going to bed hungry on 120k.

The point is the lack of stress is a privilege.

Day to day, no I don’t really feel overwhelmed. There may be moments in a day, or specific days where something throws me but just your average Tuesday, no.

My house is tidy, but not spotless. We both run businesses so work is full time plus whatever other hours are required. We don’t have much in the way of support but that, along with finances, desired lifestyle and our own ability to “cope” is why we chose to have just one child. We are fortunate that we happen to have a healthy, happy child so that certainly helps keeps things from fizzing over, though that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have days where he loses his mind. If we had more than one child I know I would not be able to agree with your post. As it is, we are able to use our free time and (limited) spare money to prioritise enjoying life.

What makes you think that OP doesn’t have high outgoings though? Some people still struggle to save on high incomes!

Yes I don’t. I have a lot of free time even with very busy kids, and yes both me and DH work. I watch a lot of tv and read, I’m always confused when friends say things like ‘I don’t have time to read books/watch tv.’ I sort of think, what do you do in the evening lol. Having said that, I’m pretty introverted so don’t value socializing and I also am happy to procrastinate about almost anything.

I feel overwhelmed when I get a virus (which a regular, sometimes every month occurrence with a school aged child in the house). I can manage everything when I’m feeling well, but when the virus hits it messes up my sleep which I turn messes up my energy, then I have to skip a workout which is my usual stress management tool, then I get behind at work because I feel ill, and so on. I really hate feeling ill.

So do you think the high income might have something to do with this OP?

Easy to be 'chill' when you're not stressed about the cost of absolutely everything and you dread something breaking/going wrong/ running out.

Me. I’m fairly laid back and a ‘coper’. Capable of sitting staring out of a window, stress free. I have lots of issues to contend with in my life so it’s not a bed of roses. But my camellia is flowering beautifully.

This was a refreshing read, I also cannot understand those ‘I’m so overwhelmed’ threads, especially when the causes are normal every day stuff like cleaning. We’re not at all overwhelmed, but I never admit to that as it can hit a nerve with some people. We have a mortgage, no family help, chose very flexible jobs to be able to work around DC.

@bunnyvsmonkey I understand, mine are the same. One diagnosed ASD, the other on the pathway. Wanting to run around and climb even at the cinema, so I can’t relax as have to be constantly trying to get them back to their seat. Late to bed and early to rise. Not doing any extra activities after school but still falling asleep around 10. Energy vampires!

I don’t feel overwhelmed at all. But I don’t have the stressors that others have. I’m single so no man to cause issues. One DC has left for uni, the other is here half the time. I coparent well with my Ex-H who is a decent person. I have a good career that I love which allows me a lot of flexibility, good friends and interesting hobbies. My life is good so there’s nothing to be overwhelmed about. This isn’t a humble brag, I’ve just made choices to make sure that stressors are no longer in my life.

Why do people do this? Someone shares a simple moment of happiness “I’m happy,” or “I’m not stressed” they say and almost immediately someone feels compelled to reply with, “Give it time, that won’t last,” or “Don’t get used to it.” Why the reflex to dim the light in someone else’s moment?
It’s baffling, and honestly infuriating. A person expresses a bit of joy, and instead of letting it stand, someone rushes in with a prediction of its demise, as if optimism itself needs correcting. Why the insistence on raining on someone’s parade? Why treat happiness like a naïve mistake that must be tempered or warned against?
Sometimes it feels like people cannot tolerate positivity. They seem determined to drag every bright moment back down to their preferred level of cynicism, as though joy needs a disclaimer attached. And it’s exhausting. Not every moment of happiness needs to be followed by a cautionary footnote. Sometimes a person is just happy and that should be allowed without someone else trying to spoil it.
@zebrazoop I know you may not mean it that way, sorry, but there’s been a few of these kinds of comments on threads like this and it’s just so so sad.

Oooh well me and my husband have just got Oura rings which has been a revelation in the stress department. We have found that the higher my stress, the lower his is….. which I reckon is why his life is so chill, because he has me to do all the worrying in the background that makes everything happen.

An example was today when we went out for Easter lunch - he commented in the car how lovely it was to go for a relaxed meal. I meanwhile was overwhelmed as we are on holiday, I had to research the area and where to go for a meal which would suit everyone, make the appointment which wasn’t straightforward as I’d left it to last minute, find the postcode and figure out where to park, work out how to get out the carpark in the accommodation and the codes for how to get back in, and make sure we were all ready. He literally stood up and got in the car 🙈😂

We do have 5 kids, 3 dogs and both work full time though so I guess it goes with the territory.

count your lucky stars, you don’t know what’s around the corner .

Great stuff

Surely people post because they're feeling overwhelmed, then others join in...not because it is the default feeling of all parents?

Life is busy here (3 kids, own business, large house, teen sports, possible ND (for kids, I am definitely) etc) but not overwhelming in the majority. Sometimes, yes, because days are different.

I wonder how much overwhelm is undiagnosed (or diagnosed) ND. My bandwidth / capacity has reduced significantly over time as well. I am a lot less resilient now than I used to be; but the challenges I am trying to manage (elderly frail and difficult mum; challenging job; teenager with chronic illness) are long term ongoing difficult things, and sometimes doing the laundry is the thing that tips me over the edge into "can't cope."

Everyone gets stressed sometimes even if its low level stress and not glaring. It's a part of being alive. It's how we manage that stress and anxiety that is different from person to person.

I have a great life and still occasionally stress over things. I work very hard not to ruminate over things I cannot change and to work at things that I can if they are causing me worry so the overall impact in my life is lessened.

I'm the same. I'm never stressed or overwhelmed. I work in a professional, corporate role, have a year 11 doing GCSEs, have never had any family help with childcare, have a sister with terminal cancer in her 40s, don't have a cleaner etc. I get plenty of exercise, do hobbies, my house is always clean and tidy. I feel completely happy and relaxed with my life.

I’m a single parent and work full-time. No help. I don’t get overwhelmed by some of the things that my friends do because quite frankly, I can’t! I have to keep going.

If I had a husband and a family purse of £120k I’d be happier. But as envy is the thief of joy, I’m happy with my lot. My username explains how I approach most things.

The main thing I feel overwhelmed about is my job. It’s full time but rarely 9-5. I often work evenings and extra time. I reckon I do around 50 hours a week. This impacts my ability to do exercise, see friends or relax. If I had a job that was less hours I would feel better. Sadly with two kids in nursery and a London mortgage this isn’t really an option. I never used to feel like this and loved my job, but recently I’ve been dreaming of working part time. I reckon I would be really good at doing community volunteering work and having more time with the kids. The other thing that stresses me is the lack of real friends I have anymore, I don’t have anyone to talk to. A lot of my friends have moved away and whilst we keep in touch it’s stunted and they all have more local friends who take up the majority of their free time. I’ve not managed to meet anyone else local (see working a lot as part of the reason for that).

We are a neurodiverse family which definitely adds to the lack of relaxation. We tried to put a film on today for DC for example. We just wanted an hour to sit. But they spent the entire time jumping up and down and then acting half of it out. Now they need to get out and burn off the energy from trying to be in one room for more than an hour so we are going to have to have an hour walk, so we are essentially being punished for trying to sit down.

I see other people who just have lie ins (ours are up at 5am every day) or evenings to relax (ours won't go to bed until 10). We don't have any childcare or family support. My 'downtime' is a 5 mins shower IF I barricade the bathroom door.

For me, it’s the job.

Ha the number of people I know who have done this! Little boy asks me for a dog and I just tell him we’re not ready for one - you have to walk them and consider them for everything ie holidays!