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Original poster

Child given money by "Vicar" at school

812 replies

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OP posts:
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5
FinalFinalFile · 08/04/2026 17:34

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 17:13

Sorry?

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Great that she’s asking the school to investigate, rather than making assumptions 😊

KilkennyCats · 08/04/2026 17:28

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 16:13

Well we don’t actually know that yet do we.

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Well yes, we do.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 17:12

CatA27 · 08/04/2026 17:03

Why would she call the police? Nothing has happened to the child. This is a school matter without further information.

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I never said that I thought she should if you see my other posts

CatA27 · 08/04/2026 17:03

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 12:53

It's been five days and the OP hasn't called police.

Why would she call the police? Nothing has happened to the child. This is a school matter without further information.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 17:01

Hont1986 · 08/04/2026 16:42

Why do people keep calling the vicar "he"? OP seems to be deliberately sticking to "their name", "this person", "the Vicar". Can you clarify, OP? Because I think it changes the risk profile if it is a male vs female.

Because they posted they were a he

Hont1986 · 08/04/2026 16:42

Why do people keep calling the vicar "he"? OP seems to be deliberately sticking to "their name", "this person", "the Vicar". Can you clarify, OP? Because I think it changes the risk profile if it is a male vs female.

Mummyof32023 · 08/04/2026 16:39

Safeguarding actually is when a child has been approached by an adult unknown, given money and told to keep quiet! Its a massive red flag and I would to make them aware.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 16:36

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 16:13

Well we don’t actually know that yet do we.

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What crime has been committed?

Whatexcellentboiledpotatoes · 08/04/2026 16:29

No adult should ever ask a child to keep anything just between them. Ever.
Even surprises that might be a secret - a birthday present or party for instance, would be between several people.

That said, this isn't a police matter. It's a safeguarding concern for sure, but it's not actually a crime to give a child a gift and tell them not to tell anyone. It simply isn't at that stage yet and it's a bit silly to suggest it is.

OP, you can report to the bishop in charge of his diocese or you can wait until the school reopens.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 16:13

CarlaLemarchant · 08/04/2026 16:06

Interview him for what offence? Use what powers to look up his search history? He has not committed a crime.

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Well we don’t actually know that yet do we.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 16:13

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 08/04/2026 13:24

She does and I really don't think she is lying. But I am not completely disregarding it as a possibility.

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Is she aware of stranger danger?

CarlaLemarchant · 08/04/2026 16:06

ThatLemonBee · 08/04/2026 16:03

At a minimum they can interview him and those close to him , and potentially look into his online history , believe it or not that’s normally enough to dig in deeper

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Interview him for what offence? Use what powers to look up his search history? He has not committed a crime.

ThatLemonBee · 08/04/2026 16:03

CarlaLemarchant · 08/04/2026 15:40

What crime has been committed? What powers would the police be utilising. What exactly would the police be doing?

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At a minimum they can interview him and those close to him , and potentially look into his online history , believe it or not that’s normally enough to dig in deeper

CarlaLemarchant · 08/04/2026 15:58

PeonyBulb · 08/04/2026 15:57

Whatever the case may be it needs to be addressed

Nobody is suggesting differently.

PeonyBulb · 08/04/2026 15:57

Whatever the case may be it needs to be addressed

CarlaLemarchant · 08/04/2026 15:57

ThatLemonBee · 08/04/2026 15:52

It’s people like you who indirectly allow pedophiles to abuse children for years with refusing to see how big of an issue this is !
Years ago I had a court case where a grandfather abused 3 of his grandchildren and even the father of one of the children , his son , refused to accept it happened because they couldn’t underhand how it had happened right before his eyes and because in his own words his dad was such a good grandparent and a standing member of church .
Things happen so much more than others realise . Giving a potential pedophile 2 extra weeks without a worry is shocking

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So, again..what crime has been committed, what police powers could be utilised?

There is a regulatory body that deals with position of trust issues, has oversight and will liaise with every relevant agency including police…it is LADO.

PeonyBulb · 08/04/2026 15:56

Strange. obviously report it. Did she maybe say she wouldn’t get any Easter eggs at home? Was she missed out at school re an egg ? Did she look noticeably disheveled in hand me down clothes or shoes or similar ? Is she in receipt of free school meals ? Did he think he was being helpful perhaps?

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 15:54

ThatLemonBee · 08/04/2026 15:52

It’s people like you who indirectly allow pedophiles to abuse children for years with refusing to see how big of an issue this is !
Years ago I had a court case where a grandfather abused 3 of his grandchildren and even the father of one of the children , his son , refused to accept it happened because they couldn’t underhand how it had happened right before his eyes and because in his own words his dad was such a good grandparent and a standing member of church .
Things happen so much more than others realise . Giving a potential pedophile 2 extra weeks without a worry is shocking

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So why doesn't OP just call police then?

ThatLemonBee · 08/04/2026 15:52

CarlaLemarchant · 08/04/2026 15:42

He is in a position of trust (that’s the phrase you’re looking for) and it is is a conduct issue not a crime.

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It’s people like you who indirectly allow pedophiles to abuse children for years with refusing to see how big of an issue this is !
Years ago I had a court case where a grandfather abused 3 of his grandchildren and even the father of one of the children , his son , refused to accept it happened because they couldn’t underhand how it had happened right before his eyes and because in his own words his dad was such a good grandparent and a standing member of church .
Things happen so much more than others realise . Giving a potential pedophile 2 extra weeks without a worry is shocking

CarlaLemarchant · 08/04/2026 15:42

ThatLemonBee · 08/04/2026 13:50

It is 100% a police matter . It’s predatory behaviour and he is in a position if power

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He is in a position of trust (that’s the phrase you’re looking for) and it is is a conduct issue not a crime.

CarlaLemarchant · 08/04/2026 15:40

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 12:46

Totally agreed. It is shocking how many people minimise these incidents or make excuses for them.

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What crime has been committed? What powers would the police be utilising. What exactly would the police be doing?

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 08/04/2026 14:55

Interesting that the vast majority of commenters have assumed the vicar is male despite the OP not having mentioned any gender-specific pronouns. Is the vicar a man, OP?

Shame on your school for not making parents aware of how to contact the school about a safeguarding concern in the holidays. Our primary had a worried@ email address specifically for this purpose. It was checked every day including holidays. I used it once to report something disturbing I witnessed involving a pupil. That was several years ago.

Needspaceforlego · 08/04/2026 14:20

I don't think its a police matter either, certainly not at this stage before school have had a chance to verify that he did indeed sit beside the Ops child.

The child said her friend witnessed it, but children aren't exactly discreet, a child seeing another get something is likely to ask 'where's mine' 'can I get one'

What other kids saw it?

ProfessorBinturong · 08/04/2026 14:18

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 12:49

Does your child know the consequences of lying? Especially if it gets people in authority or respected people into trouble?

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The consequences for getting someone else in trouble should not depend on that person's level of respect or authority.

That's one of the roots of the problem - the idea that you should be wary of speaking up about important people, or that some are more important than others. You should no more lie to get a 4 year old in trouble than you should to get an Archbishop in trouble. And you should speak up truthfully even if it means trouble for a cabinet minister or film star.

ThatLemonBee · 08/04/2026 13:50

KilkennyCats · 08/04/2026 13:36

It is NOT a police matter.

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It is 100% a police matter . It’s predatory behaviour and he is in a position if power