Page 7 | Child given money by "Vicar" at school

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 2026-04-03T19:51:59+00:00

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OrdinaryGirl · 09/04/2026 06:55

Haven’t RTFT but have read all your posts, OP. Strongly recommend that, in addition to the actions others have suggested, you contact the church’s Parish Safeguarding Officer and inform them.
Their details will be on the front page of the church’s website (because the rules say they have to be). If you can’t find the details, go onto your Diocese’s website and contact the Diocesan Safeguarding Officer. Again, these details will be easy to find because they are required to be.

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 06:51

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 11:00

If there’s no safeguarding email for the school what can she do? Do admin staff work at the school during Easter holidays? Email Diocese? Police maybe

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There will definitely be a contact at the diocese and yes that should be done. Reporting to the police would be a "idk where else to go as no one is responding" more than a first port of call

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 06:40

I meant the religious side of things. But yes school would be closed.

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/04/2026 06:34

Here they go back on Monday 13th.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 06:23

Needspaceforlego · 08/04/2026 22:53

If you work in safeguarding you'd know the school is closed - Easter is an international holiday

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Isn’t easter now over now?

SpryTaupeTurtle · 09/04/2026 00:00

Needspaceforlego · 08/04/2026 22:17

You know as well as I do that's not how these things work.
Using that radio presenter as an example, he lost his job last week because of a 10 year old accusation, it never even made it to court.

People gossip, and make up what they don't know.

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He was famous and it was leaked to the press. Completely different situation altogether. People get arrested daily and it doesn't make the press and that's the way it should be - innocent until proven guilty - no one deserves their reputation ruined because of idle gossip

Needspaceforlego · 08/04/2026 22:53

ASandwichNamedKevin · 08/04/2026 22:24

Do adults on this thread know the consequences of not taking seriously what children tell them?
I work in a child safeguarding role and would have phoned the school by now to find out if there is a senior staff member on duty over the holidays, and contacted the multi agency safeguarding hub (MASH).

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If you work in safeguarding you'd know the school is closed - Easter is an international holiday

ASandwichNamedKevin · 08/04/2026 22:24

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 12:49

Does your child know the consequences of lying? Especially if it gets people in authority or respected people into trouble?

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Do adults on this thread know the consequences of not taking seriously what children tell them?
I work in a child safeguarding role and would have phoned the school by now to find out if there is a senior staff member on duty over the holidays, and contacted the multi agency safeguarding hub (MASH).

ADHDDoomScroller · 08/04/2026 22:24

Please report to the LADO at the council, I'd be worried school or church would not follow up sufficiently and nobody will be gathering a picture if other similar reports have been made

Needspaceforlego · 08/04/2026 22:17

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 21:42

No. People have the right to be questioned by police or arrested and not be gossiped about all over the place. No. Just no.

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You know as well as I do that's not how these things work.
Using that radio presenter as an example, he lost his job last week because of a 10 year old accusation, it never even made it to court.

People gossip, and make up what they don't know.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 22:16

Whatexcellentboiledpotatoes · 08/04/2026 16:29

No adult should ever ask a child to keep anything just between them. Ever.
Even surprises that might be a secret - a birthday present or party for instance, would be between several people.

That said, this isn't a police matter. It's a safeguarding concern for sure, but it's not actually a crime to give a child a gift and tell them not to tell anyone. It simply isn't at that stage yet and it's a bit silly to suggest it is.

OP, you can report to the bishop in charge of his diocese or you can wait until the school reopens.

Not spoken to her yet but my friend used to work in comms PR for a Catholic diocese, very closed to head man, bishop or archbishop. So prob best to do this. Or and dioceses safeguarding dept.

ProfessorBinturong · 08/04/2026 21:42

The balance of probability is that the person in question is male - 2/3 of the clergy in the CofE are men.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 21:42

Needspaceforlego · 08/04/2026 21:38

News gets around, and bad news travels faster than good. People end up with ends of a tail and make the bits up in the middle.

The child isn't in danger. Nothing is going to change in the next week. It can wait until schools go back.

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No. People have the right to be questioned by police or arrested and not be gossiped about all over the place. No. Just no.

Needspaceforlego · 08/04/2026 21:38

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 20:23

People should not find out if someone is reported to police.

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News gets around, and bad news travels faster than good. People end up with ends of a tail and make the bits up in the middle.

The child isn't in danger. Nothing is going to change in the next week. It can wait until schools go back.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 08/04/2026 20:53

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 11:00

If there’s no safeguarding email for the school what can she do? Do admin staff work at the school during Easter holidays? Email Diocese? Police maybe

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I'd be contacting the diocese at the very least.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 20:40

Clavinova · 08/04/2026 20:38

You are mistaken. You can view all of the OP's posts if you click 'See all' in the original post.

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Cheers

Clavinova · 08/04/2026 20:38

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 20:23

Someone quoted a post saying it was a he - from the OPs words

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You are mistaken. You can view all of the OP's posts if you click 'See all' in the original post.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 20:23

Clavinova · 08/04/2026 20:11

the OP said it herself

The OP hasn't said either way.

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Someone quoted a post saying it was a he - from the OPs words

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 20:23

DurinsBane · 08/04/2026 20:19

She is trying to gather the facts before she calls the police (if the facts show it is a police matter). Calling the police, people will find out, and if it is totally innocent, that won’t matter to a lot of people. The accusations will follow him around for years. It isn’t like he will have access to her child before she gets to talk to the school.
If it is dodgy, then of course she should take it as far as she can

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People should not find out if someone is reported to police.

DurinsBane · 08/04/2026 20:19

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 12:53

It's been five days and the OP hasn't called police.

She is trying to gather the facts before she calls the police (if the facts show it is a police matter). Calling the police, people will find out, and if it is totally innocent, that won’t matter to a lot of people. The accusations will follow him around for years. It isn’t like he will have access to her child before she gets to talk to the school.
If it is dodgy, then of course she should take it as far as she can

Clavinova · 08/04/2026 20:11

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 18:32

Someone said a few pages ago it was a he - and the OP said it herself

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the OP said it herself

The OP hasn't said either way.

blueskyandrainbows · 08/04/2026 19:35

The OP has clearly said she does not want to call the police so why not respect her choice and stop going on about it.
Personally OP I agree there is no need whatsoever to involve the police at this stage.

ForeverTheOptomist · 08/04/2026 19:31

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 08/04/2026 00:00

Thanks again for all the comments, at this point I am still going to wait for the school to reply, I do not think contacting the police at this stage would be appropriate and I'd really rather wait and establish all the facts with the school before going any further.

Good move.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 18:32

Tiggles · 08/04/2026 17:45

Actually they have always said 'this person' or the vicar.
It is a safeguarding concern either way.
As the school aren't responding (and they should respond immediately to acknowledge a safeguarding concern) it could be raised to the diocesan safeguarding team. Their contact details will definitely be available on the Durham diocese website. They would investigate and liaise with school and involve other bodies as/if necessary.

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Someone said a few pages ago it was a he - and the OP said it herself

Tiggles · 08/04/2026 17:45

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 17:01

Because they posted they were a he

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Actually they have always said 'this person' or the vicar.
It is a safeguarding concern either way.
As the school aren't responding (and they should respond immediately to acknowledge a safeguarding concern) it could be raised to the diocesan safeguarding team. Their contact details will definitely be available on the Durham diocese website. They would investigate and liaise with school and involve other bodies as/if necessary.