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Original poster

Child given money by "Vicar" at school

812 replies

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OP posts:
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DotAndCarryOne2 · 09/04/2026 13:38

SpryTaupeTurtle · 09/04/2026 00:00

He was famous and it was leaked to the press. Completely different situation altogether. People get arrested daily and it doesn't make the press and that's the way it should be - innocent until proven guilty - no one deserves their reputation ruined because of idle gossip

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In the UK, there’s no absolute legal ban on press/media naming someone who has been interviewed by police. They generally don’t until the person has been charged because of defamation laws. Generally a judge will decide on disclosure where minors or vulnerable people are involved, or whether non disclosure is a risk to the public.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 09/04/2026 13:28

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 20:23

Someone quoted a post saying it was a he - from the OPs words

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Go through the OP’s post and updates. Not once has she specified the sex.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 09/04/2026 13:16

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 07:04

Should be first along with school.
https://durhamdiocese.org/safeguarding/safeguarding-contacts/

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She's already emailed the school.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 13:07

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 09/04/2026 12:34

Our primary school sent it out to parents in a reminder email at the end of each half term rather than put it on the website. It was an email address for parents to use specifically for safeguarding concerns. [email protected]

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I’m not a parent it’s DNephew’s school. So they should’ve got the email I guess.

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 09/04/2026 12:34

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 10:20

https://sandhurstprimary.lewisham.sch.uk/safeguarding-page/

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Our primary school sent it out to parents in a reminder email at the end of each half term rather than put it on the website. It was an email address for parents to use specifically for safeguarding concerns. [email protected]

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 12:17

EverythingElseIsTaken · 09/04/2026 11:20

So basically, as with my school, no direct contact just the office contact which is generally not looked at during school holidays as office staff are only paid for term time ( some, like me for a week each at end of summer term and before autumn term).

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Yes I guess so. Admin staff can’t work at Easter holidays is all I’m thinking. Even though some schools have holiday clubs.

ASandwichNamedKevin · 09/04/2026 12:00

Needspaceforlego · 08/04/2026 22:53

If you work in safeguarding you'd know the school is closed - Easter is an international holiday

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I do work in safeguarding and I do know it's the Easter holidays. Schools often have a senior member of staff on duty over the holidays. If a member of the public can't get in touch with them (e.g. if no emergency contact details on the automated message) then the MASH should be able to.
I personally would not leave something like this until next week. What the OP does is up to her but since she is asking on this forum I'm saying what I would do.

Tiggles · 09/04/2026 11:56

ADHDDoomScroller · 09/04/2026 08:29

I admire your confidence, but they hardly have the best track record

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Sadly nor do schools
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0mxk1g2vnjo
But everyone is trying to learn from their mistakes.

A police mugshot of Neil Foden. He has short white hair and is looking directly into the camera. He is almost entirely bald, with fine, grey very cropped hair on the sides. The background is all grey and he is wearing a white collared shirt

Neil Foden: Over 50 missed opportunities to stop paedophile head - report

Neil Foden, 68, was jailed for 17 years after being convicted of 19 charges involving four girls.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0mxk1g2vnjo

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 11:46

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 10:23

Thanks for clarifying. Safeguarding officer should be working today though.

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DSO will have an all hours number/email too

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 11:44

ADHDDoomScroller · 09/04/2026 08:29

I admire your confidence, but they hardly have the best track record

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and precisely because of that track record, procedures are now very tight and responsive, because even institutions can get better.

I spoke to our DSO this morning just casually and mentioned this thread. They were aware of it and we're at the other end of the country.

regardless, the right thing to do is speak to Diocesan SG, because even the worst institution can't do anything good if people don't report!!

EverythingElseIsTaken · 09/04/2026 11:20

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 10:20

That’s all I’ve got but at least an email address.

So basically, as with my school, no direct contact just the office contact which is generally not looked at during school holidays as office staff are only paid for term time ( some, like me for a week each at end of summer term and before autumn term).

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 10:24

ADHDDoomScroller · 09/04/2026 08:29

I admire your confidence, but they hardly have the best track record

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Who the diocese or SGO?

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 10:23

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 07:10

A bishop.or rather their pa will ask the SGO.to deal with it.
They'll be made aware id it's a member of clergy , the amount of correspondence a bishop gets going straight to SG is better. Cc the Bishops office if you want by all means

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Thanks for clarifying. Safeguarding officer should be working today though.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 10:20

That’s all I’ve got but at least an email address.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/04/2026 10:20

EverythingElseIsTaken · 09/04/2026 10:10

Can anyone show a primary school website that DOES give this information? I can bring it up when I return to school next week but so far NONE of the websites I’ve looked at give the DSLs email address and there is no way in hell I’m putting ANY member of staff’s phone number on our website.

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https://sandhurstprimary.lewisham.sch.uk/safeguarding-page/

Nikki3009 · 09/04/2026 10:14

Well done to your daughter for telling you about this and not keeping it a secret despite an adult in a position of authority asking her to.
I hope the school, when you manage to get in touch with them, take this seriously. If this person comes into your DC's school and other schools on a regular basis then he is a potential predator. If it's a one-off visit then I can't understand why he'd single out one child to give them money, so either way it's very strange behaviour.

EverythingElseIsTaken · 09/04/2026 10:10

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 12:50

Big issue which should be resolved asap.

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Can anyone show a primary school website that DOES give this information? I can bring it up when I return to school next week but so far NONE of the websites I’ve looked at give the DSLs email address and there is no way in hell I’m putting ANY member of staff’s phone number on our website.

AgentPidge · 09/04/2026 10:09

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 17:01

Because they posted they were a he

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I've been through all the OP's posts and there's no mention of the sex of this person.

@TakeALookAtTheseSwatches Can you clarify if it's a man or a woman please?

IdentityCris · 09/04/2026 09:58

ADHDDoomScroller · 09/04/2026 08:29

I admire your confidence, but they hardly have the best track record

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That's precisely why they take these issues very seriously nowadays.

ADHDDoomScroller · 09/04/2026 08:29

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 07:14

That's why you go to the diocese. But local church and the school will have strict procedures about reporting and dealing with allegations. If this guy is in leadership in the local church though taking it to the diocese is a clearer route.the LADO will be involved PDQ don't worry!

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I admire your confidence, but they hardly have the best track record

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 07:14

ADHDDoomScroller · 08/04/2026 22:24

Please report to the LADO at the council, I'd be worried school or church would not follow up sufficiently and nobody will be gathering a picture if other similar reports have been made

That's why you go to the diocese. But local church and the school will have strict procedures about reporting and dealing with allegations. If this guy is in leadership in the local church though taking it to the diocese is a clearer route.the LADO will be involved PDQ don't worry!

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 07:10

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/04/2026 22:16

Not spoken to her yet but my friend used to work in comms PR for a Catholic diocese, very closed to head man, bishop or archbishop. So prob best to do this. Or and dioceses safeguarding dept.

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A bishop.or rather their pa will ask the SGO.to deal with it.
They'll be made aware id it's a member of clergy , the amount of correspondence a bishop gets going straight to SG is better. Cc the Bishops office if you want by all means

OrdinaryGirl · 09/04/2026 06:59

If you can’t raise the Parish Safeguarding Officer at the church connected to the school, (and they should get back to you swiftly) then this is the next port of call:
www.durhamdiocese.org/support-for-your-role/parish-safeguarding-officers/support-and-contacts

Oldandbored · 09/04/2026 06:58

SpryTaupeTurtle · 08/04/2026 12:53

It's been five days and the OP hasn't called police.

Or the Diocesan SG team afawk.. if there have been any other flags however "soft",on this chap they will know. They will also have been working and available. Our SG team are first in last out the offices. They have 24/7 contact numbers and email.addresses.

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