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Original poster

Child given money by "Vicar" at school

812 replies

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OP posts:
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5
Cyclingmummy1 · 03/04/2026 21:26

MagicTape · 03/04/2026 21:12

I'm not sure any schools in E&W were still running on Thursday - the latest term date I can find is Wednesday 1st, although possibly I've missed one. If OP is abroad then there will be different safeguarding bodies to contact.

The whole of the North East was open.

Onceuponatimethen · 03/04/2026 21:25

Family in Cheshire and Tyne and Wear only broke up yesterday. Some schools ended term weirdly late this year.

Raindropskeepfallingon · 03/04/2026 21:22

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 21:14

From what I can gather she somehow ended up sitting next to the Vicar, I assume maybe the head teacher takes over at the end of the assembly or something? I need to properly clarify with her exactly when it happened, I can't see how it's not been noticed by anyone else tbh. Annoyingly there won't be anyone there until 20th when they reopen so I can't contact anyone until then.

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I still don’t quite see how this happened in any competent school, but the fact she’s said it has means it needs looking into.

Email the office, put safeguarding in the subject line and tell them you need to make a safeguarding report regarding an incident in school on the last day of term. Someone is probably monitoring email periodically and should get a safeguarding lead to get in touch.

You can also contact your local LADO. Just Google LADO and your area.

Threelionsandalioness · 03/04/2026 21:21

catipuss · 03/04/2026 21:02

I might go straight to telling the police, this is not OK.

Absolutely!

MrMucker · 03/04/2026 21:17

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:58

To be honest I have questioned her to make sure she's not lying about it, she's absolutely adamant.

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"Nobody else got one" might indicate that it's not true.
I'm conflicted.

Screamingabdabz · 03/04/2026 21:17

This is a major safeguarding breach. You need to report it to the school. Although the school should be responsible for the conduct of adults on their premises, you could also report it to the church who should take that very seriously too. Who the fuck is giving primary age children money and asking them to keep secrets??? No no no.

JaneJeffer · 03/04/2026 21:15

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth

ColinOfficeTrolley · 03/04/2026 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yeah, you never hear of clergy being nonces do you 🤔

Original poster
TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 21:15

MagicTape · 03/04/2026 21:12

I'm not sure any schools in E&W were still running on Thursday - the latest term date I can find is Wednesday 1st, although possibly I've missed one. If OP is abroad then there will be different safeguarding bodies to contact.

We're in County Durham, all schools were open until Thursday.

OP posts:
Original poster
TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 21:14

Raindropskeepfallingon · 03/04/2026 21:06

Contact the school, ask to make a safeguarding report - if what your daughter said happened is accurate it needs addressing.

Not only should the Vicar/visitor not have given her anything, he shouldn’t have been in a position to be giving her anything if he was there leading collective worship - he should be supervised and the children supervised by their teacher. I can’t quite picture how someone leading collective worship could secretively give a child money unless it was a ill-judged prize or something, but that would’ve been in front of staff not a secret.

From what I can gather she somehow ended up sitting next to the Vicar, I assume maybe the head teacher takes over at the end of the assembly or something? I need to properly clarify with her exactly when it happened, I can't see how it's not been noticed by anyone else tbh. Annoyingly there won't be anyone there until 20th when they reopen so I can't contact anyone until then.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 03/04/2026 21:14

MagicTape · 03/04/2026 21:12

I'm not sure any schools in E&W were still running on Thursday - the latest term date I can find is Wednesday 1st, although possibly I've missed one. If OP is abroad then there will be different safeguarding bodies to contact.

Some schools, particularly Catholic schools (which this doesn't seem to be), break up on the Thursday.

MagicTape · 03/04/2026 21:12

I'm not sure any schools in E&W were still running on Thursday - the latest term date I can find is Wednesday 1st, although possibly I've missed one. If OP is abroad then there will be different safeguarding bodies to contact.

MeSeM · 03/04/2026 21:10

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

I'm sorry to hear this & the bit which naturally concern me most is
"this is just between me & you"
Why does it need to be a secret, so alarm bells would understandably ring
⏰ 🚩 ⏰
When I was a little girl, there was an elderly gentleman who always gave me money, after church, on Sunday Mornings ~ The big difference was, he loud & proudly gave me the money, in front of my Mum, Brother & sometimes dad if he was there) So of course, this was no secret to anyone ~
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost best

LayaM · 03/04/2026 21:08

Tell the school and also Google your local LADO and report to them, as this is someone working or volunteering with children.

I can well believe this happened, it's absolutely classic grooming.

MyTrivia · 03/04/2026 21:07

Very weird and inappropriate. And asking her to keep a secret? Hell no…

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/04/2026 21:07

Tell the school and contact the safeguarding lead of the church if you know which church it is, the contact info for the church staff will be on their website. If it’s as she described it’s massively dodgy and needs addressing asap. It’s good she told you, you’ve done a good job as her mum.

Raindropskeepfallingon · 03/04/2026 21:06

Contact the school, ask to make a safeguarding report - if what your daughter said happened is accurate it needs addressing.

Not only should the Vicar/visitor not have given her anything, he shouldn’t have been in a position to be giving her anything if he was there leading collective worship - he should be supervised and the children supervised by their teacher. I can’t quite picture how someone leading collective worship could secretively give a child money unless it was a ill-judged prize or something, but that would’ve been in front of staff not a secret.

GloriaHeeler · 03/04/2026 21:05

Tacohill · 03/04/2026 21:02

It may have been said in a way that meant not tell the other children but I would definitely speak to the school and clarify for your own peace of mind.

That’s still not OK. We don’t even tell the dc in our school to keep their Mother’s Day cards a secret. Never mind a fiver from a bloke who was visiting the school.

StripyHorse · 03/04/2026 21:05

Tell the school.

In the unlikely event that it is Maundy money, the school will be able to clear that up.

Adults should not be giving pupils in their care money, and certainly not asking them to keep it secret.

heloobyeee111111111 · 03/04/2026 21:04

Reminds me when I was in primary school and the teaching assistant was leaving and she sat next to me and said she was given me her home number and no one else and not to tell anyone. It was very weird she must of been in her mid twenties. I never told anyone about it because I thought I was her favourite but looking back it’s odd. Let your daughter know well done for telling you.

Tacohill · 03/04/2026 21:02

It may have been said in a way that meant not tell the other children but I would definitely speak to the school and clarify for your own peace of mind.

catipuss · 03/04/2026 21:02

I might go straight to telling the police, this is not OK.

GardenCovent · 03/04/2026 21:01

The fact it was given on Thursday may well make it Maunday Money but if she was the only one to get it and told to keep it a secret I’d def be contacting the school

graceinspace999 · 03/04/2026 20:59

worldshottestmom · 03/04/2026 20:54

If this is real, obviously call the school. Adults asking children to keep secrets from other adults is predatory behaviour.

Be suspicious and call school. Child safety comes first.

Secrets between adult strangers and kids is extremely dodgy.

NaiceCupOTea · 03/04/2026 20:59

No no no. Red flags everywhere with this. She should not be asked to keep this a secret, and if she was the only one given money, this is a serious safe-guarding concern in relation to grooming.

Report it to the school asap. In writing and ask for an up-date as to what action was taken.