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Child given money by "Vicar" at school

812 replies

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OP posts:
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Casperroonie · 17/04/2026 15:50

Clementine12 · 06/04/2026 16:41

Safeguarding team will absolutely be contactable. Before every school holiday my school reminds parents and students of the email address that will be checked daily.

Yes, the safeguarding team will look at their emails. But to moan that the teacher isn't answering emails is not ok.
Even over the holidays, the DSL may not answer emails. For something serious like this, every church/ parish has a safeguarding representative that can be contacted. It does not always fall to teaching staff.

Plumnora · 15/04/2026 23:05

Tigerbalmshark · 15/04/2026 22:07

It’s not really an emergency though is it? Her child is safe at home, and isn’t going to come into contact with this vicar between now and next week. So it’s fine to wait until then.

But he very possibly has access to other children? OP's child is safe but it needs flagging immediately to minimise risk to other children.

Tigerbalmshark · 15/04/2026 22:07

It’s not really an emergency though is it? Her child is safe at home, and isn’t going to come into contact with this vicar between now and next week. So it’s fine to wait until then.

celticprincess · 15/04/2026 22:03

If the email was sent to school admin then it will not be answered. There should have been an out of hours contact though for safeguarding concerns. But usually you would contact the LA safeguarding. If the OP had a direct email address for the HT or any of SLT then they would likely answer unless on holiday- slt often might be on a rota for emergencies. I can’t understand why OP hasn’t contacted the LA though. Many people have linked to the number.

My kids school all send an email out before holidays with emergent contact details do a variety of services. I also received an email off a teacher on the evening after they broke up for school holidays and when I replied I for the standard out of office all the staff seem to have worn the same list of emergency contact details for various agencies.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/04/2026 19:55

DotAndCarryOne2 · 15/04/2026 18:42

Because the first point of contact is the school.

Ok ok.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 15/04/2026 18:44

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/04/2026 09:25

Yes very suspicious.

Suspicious of what ? Nothing to report until there’s something to report ?

DotAndCarryOne2 · 15/04/2026 18:42

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/04/2026 18:06

Why haven’t you contacted safeguarding at the diocese yet?

Because the first point of contact is the school.

ForeverTheOptomist · 15/04/2026 18:31

Oh. and I think that it's you who has to monitor, not MN x

ForeverTheOptomist · 15/04/2026 18:30

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 15/04/2026 09:26

How many times do I have to say that I've emailed the school but they are not back open until the 20th, no one answered my email this last week so I don't think anyone is monitoring it over the holidays.

I am op. Watching to see what happens. I think that you are in a very difficult situation. Keep going, but do let us know what happens. Cant believe that you have to wait until 20th but you have done the right thing waiting for interaction from the school.

x

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/04/2026 18:06

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 15/04/2026 09:27

I can't give an update if there is no update yet 🙄

Why haven’t you contacted safeguarding at the diocese yet?

Plumnora · 15/04/2026 15:32

Reallyneedsaholiday · 15/04/2026 15:16

Some us just find it bizarre that the OP appears to be so unconcerned about a safeguarding issue.

Probably doesn't want to acknowledge just how serious it could be.
Nobody wants to think their child is being targeted and as this thread shows, people are all falling over themselves to try and excuse the vicar or accuse the child of lying.
I have experience of this. My old childminders son was abusing 2 children in his mother's care. He'd groomed their vulnerable single mum and the little ones. The mother if the children went to the police immediately after 1 child disclosed what was happening, and the childminder launched a campaign to crucify this woman.
We live in a smallish town and sadly, people were very quick to believe the childminder and join in the persecution. A few of us stuck by the mother and were encouraged by others to distance ourselves from her.
Only when photographic evidence of the abuse emerged and he admitted to everything, did people realise. He's in prison now.
We still seem hardwired to see the good in people unfortunately.
I hope the OP does realise the seriousness of the situation and where this behaviour could potentially lead if not investigated.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 15/04/2026 15:16

Plumnora · 15/04/2026 12:38

Why? I don't think it's rude at all. My late dad was a vicar and never expected special treatment wherever he went!!
And again I'm not sure why so many people seem so determined to doubt OP. That to me is as unsettling as an adult giving a child money and telling them to keep quiet about it.

Some us just find it bizarre that the OP appears to be so unconcerned about a safeguarding issue.

Plumnora · 15/04/2026 12:38

OhWise1 · 15/04/2026 11:52

I don't need go eork in the op's dd's school to know it would be extremely rude and pointless to invite a Vicar to a service to celebrate Easter and then stick him at the back and lead the service yourself! I wonder how rgat woukd go down with SIAMS inspection and the governors responsible for upholding the school's religious character.
Ibam assuming as your dd kniw tge vicar by name thst it is a church if England school?

Why? I don't think it's rude at all. My late dad was a vicar and never expected special treatment wherever he went!!
And again I'm not sure why so many people seem so determined to doubt OP. That to me is as unsettling as an adult giving a child money and telling them to keep quiet about it.

Moonnstarz · 15/04/2026 12:18

The headteacher (and SLT) do not have the same rights and working conditions as teachers in general, so it is surprising that the email has not been picked up by anyone.

I don't know whether they claim for it but my school also has a family support worker who does end up supporting families during school holidays (helping them deal with life admin, helping with appointments they find tricky, signposting to other support). I would like to think they put in a claim for these additional hours and do still get time off. They also have safeguarding training so would also be able to assist in situations that require it. The sendco also does similar (but being part of SLT) it is expected within the role.
It seems unusual that this school is completely switched off, as many safeguarding issues happen during school holidays.

OhWise1 · 15/04/2026 11:52

Plumnora · 15/04/2026 11:31

You don't teach at OP's daughter's school though do you?
I can't believe the amount of people here questioning the validity of this story and trying to catch OP out.
News flash! adult men groom children. Including vicars, priests, policemen and teachers. They do with a with a smile because they want to draw people to them. Happened with our childminder's adult son who is now in prison for abusing children in his mother's care.. So yes, it happens. All the time.
This is why victims don't come forward.

I don't need go eork in the op's dd's school to know it would be extremely rude and pointless to invite a Vicar to a service to celebrate Easter and then stick him at the back and lead the service yourself! I wonder how rgat woukd go down with SIAMS inspection and the governors responsible for upholding the school's religious character.
Ibam assuming as your dd kniw tge vicar by name thst it is a church if England school?

PrettyDamnCosmic · 15/04/2026 11:51

OhWise1 · 15/04/2026 11:45

Teaching staff are Paid during the holidays, but not FOR thevholidays. Why would you be expecting a teacher to work on a day they are not paid for??

Heads & other teachers don't just clock off at end of term until the next term.. There are all manner of emergencies that they should be available to get involved with during school holidays like a fire or a flood or power outage or a roof collapsing or this safeguarding issue.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 15/04/2026 11:47

OhWise1 · 15/04/2026 11:06

For starters none of the staff are paid during the Easter holidays!

Another thing i am doubtful about is that at an Easter service, i would have expected the vicar to be front and centre to proceedings. Why would h a busy vicarvhave been invited and then shoved on a sofa at the back? I teach in a CofE school and the vicar is leading worship at school services

They’re paid every month.

Are you saying a potentially serious child protection concern could be going on for six weeks before the school would be aware of it? That’s not safe at all.

It doesn’t seem like anyone is reading anything.

OP hasn’t said the school has an out of office with emergency contact details on.

There is no way anyone would be able to escalate anything involving the school.

Yes, I would add that into my complaint. Why wouldn’t you?

OhWise1 · 15/04/2026 11:45

PrettyDamnCosmic · 15/04/2026 11:25

For starters none of the staff are paid during the Easter holidays!

Except they are paid during holidays unless you are seriously suggesting that the head & other teachers don't get holiday pay?

Teaching staff are Paid during the holidays, but not FOR thevholidays. Why would you be expecting a teacher to work on a day they are not paid for??

Plumnora · 15/04/2026 11:31

OhWise1 · 15/04/2026 11:06

For starters none of the staff are paid during the Easter holidays!

Another thing i am doubtful about is that at an Easter service, i would have expected the vicar to be front and centre to proceedings. Why would h a busy vicarvhave been invited and then shoved on a sofa at the back? I teach in a CofE school and the vicar is leading worship at school services

You don't teach at OP's daughter's school though do you?
I can't believe the amount of people here questioning the validity of this story and trying to catch OP out.
News flash! adult men groom children. Including vicars, priests, policemen and teachers. They do with a with a smile because they want to draw people to them. Happened with our childminder's adult son who is now in prison for abusing children in his mother's care.. So yes, it happens. All the time.
This is why victims don't come forward.

PrettyDamnCosmic · 15/04/2026 11:25

OhWise1 · 15/04/2026 11:06

For starters none of the staff are paid during the Easter holidays!

Another thing i am doubtful about is that at an Easter service, i would have expected the vicar to be front and centre to proceedings. Why would h a busy vicarvhave been invited and then shoved on a sofa at the back? I teach in a CofE school and the vicar is leading worship at school services

For starters none of the staff are paid during the Easter holidays!

Except they are paid during holidays unless you are seriously suggesting that the head & other teachers don't get holiday pay?

OhWise1 · 15/04/2026 11:06

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 15/04/2026 10:27

When they do respond to you, I’d add a complaint about the timeframe for responses, this isn’t acceptable really. A few days, fine, but this was over a week ago now I think?

For starters none of the staff are paid during the Easter holidays!

Another thing i am doubtful about is that at an Easter service, i would have expected the vicar to be front and centre to proceedings. Why would h a busy vicarvhave been invited and then shoved on a sofa at the back? I teach in a CofE school and the vicar is leading worship at school services

Bearness · 15/04/2026 10:43

MadeInGrimsby · 15/04/2026 09:28

I'm shocked that neither the school nor the Diocese has acted and responded to you.
It's been 2 weeks!

The school is closed for the holidays. OP has said this multiple times!

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 15/04/2026 10:27

When they do respond to you, I’d add a complaint about the timeframe for responses, this isn’t acceptable really. A few days, fine, but this was over a week ago now I think?

MadeInGrimsby · 15/04/2026 09:28

I'm shocked that neither the school nor the Diocese has acted and responded to you.
It's been 2 weeks!

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 15/04/2026 09:27

I can't give an update if there is no update yet 🙄

OP posts: