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Original poster

Child given money by "Vicar" at school

812 replies

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OP posts:
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MadeInGrimsby · 04/04/2026 00:03

OhWise1 · 03/04/2026 23:55

They are not in a position to investigate what went on in a school.If your dd's allegation is feasible, all the relevant authorities will be involved.

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They are. School and Church investigate
The Church has responsibility for the vicar and needs to take appropriate steps.
Gone are the days when the Church wouldn't be involved. They need to be contacted.

OhWise1 · 04/04/2026 00:02

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/04/2026 23:56

Not if it’s not true. Eg if she didn’t meet the vicar that day because he wasn’t in, or he was with a teacher all the time, then it’s clearly a fantasy

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And this would be extremely upsetting for the individual concerned.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/04/2026 23:56

MadeInGrimsby · 03/04/2026 23:45

Why not? They should be informed and take appropriate action, surely?

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Not if it’s not true. Eg if she didn’t meet the vicar that day because he wasn’t in, or he was with a teacher all the time, then it’s clearly a fantasy

OhWise1 · 03/04/2026 23:55

MadeInGrimsby · 03/04/2026 23:45

Why not? They should be informed and take appropriate action, surely?

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They are not in a position to investigate what went on in a school.If your dd's allegation is feasible, all the relevant authorities will be involved.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/04/2026 23:55

This is how grooming starts it’s a test to see if she’ll tell

Ohthatsabitshit · 03/04/2026 23:48

School need to deal with this not a church.

MadeInGrimsby · 03/04/2026 23:45

OhWise1 · 03/04/2026 23:43

Please log with the school and give them a chance to investigate. I would advise strongly against contacting the diocese directly. Kids DO sometimes lie (not necessarily saying your dd is) and the school will know context, for example whether your dd was sitting next to the individual concerned, and whether the story checks out. The diocese will not and hence not be able to investigate in the same way.

Edited

Why not? They should be informed and take appropriate action, surely?

OhWise1 · 03/04/2026 23:43

Please log with the school and give them a chance to investigate. I would advise strongly against contacting the diocese directly. Kids DO sometimes lie (not necessarily saying your dd is) and the school will know context, for example whether your dd was sitting next to the individual concerned, and whether the story checks out. The diocese will not and hence not be able to investigate in the same way.

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 03/04/2026 23:40

Email to ask the school for clarification immediately. Don’t wait till school reopens. Get as much detail down on paper now as your D can remember.

Jhm88 · 03/04/2026 23:37

Just wanted to add... absolutely believe her and don't let her think you're doubting it even if there is a bit of doubt. That's the last thing you want to do in situations like this. Believe her unless you get solid proof it's not true or a misunderstanding. Too many children aren't believed when they're groomed and abused. Don't put your child in the position to think my parent isn't going to believe me if something else happens.

flippertygibbet4 · 03/04/2026 23:34

Report to the school immediately and do not let your child ever be anywhere near this man. If the school take their safeguarding duties seriously he will never be allowed in again. Do not let your daughter be alone with this man. Do not underestimate what this could lead to. Completely inappropriate.

MadeInGrimsby · 03/04/2026 23:33

FinalFinalFile · 03/04/2026 23:26

I don’t blame OP for wanting to prove it, TBH. It’s obvious what people are trying to infer.

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Yeah, I get it. I was just trying to make the point that the school wasn't necessarily closed. Which we know it wasn't!

OhWise1 · 03/04/2026 23:33

I'm a teacher and HTs will be definitely monitoring emails. The school will log it as an incident onCPOMs and tge safeguarding lead will follow it up and refer it on as necessary.

Isittimeformynapyet · 03/04/2026 23:33

Did your daughter show you the £5 @TakeALookAtTheseSwatches?

BooneyBeautiful · 03/04/2026 23:30

GloriaHeeler · 03/04/2026 21:05

That’s still not OK. We don’t even tell the dc in our school to keep their Mother’s Day cards a secret. Never mind a fiver from a bloke who was visiting the school.

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Back in the 1990s when my two DC were in preschool, they were making Mother's Day cards and told to keep it a secret. I actually had to point out to the staff that that was a line used by paedophiles. They looked surprised as if it had never occurred to them! They did acknowledge I was correct though.

ForeverTheOptomist · 03/04/2026 23:29

I agree with the above. You need to raise it somehow. Shame the school is going to be closed. That would be the obvious way to go. Do you have any contacts in the church?

FinalFinalFile · 03/04/2026 23:26

MadeInGrimsby · 03/04/2026 22:53

This is a distraction now, I was responding to an earlier poster.
Please report this to the school, and to the Diocese.

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I don’t blame OP for wanting to prove it, TBH. It’s obvious what people are trying to infer.

Jhm88 · 03/04/2026 23:23

No bloody secrets between children and adults. Report and get her far away from him.

Isittimeformynapyet · 03/04/2026 23:20

hazelberry · 03/04/2026 22:23

Police NOW!

🙄

Don't shout at her.

Firstbornunicorn · 03/04/2026 23:20

Daffodildahlia · 03/04/2026 23:13

I've never seen or been involved with a children's Object Lesson. I had never heard of them until tonight.

However, I understand that the school is C of E and that is not taught (as far as I am aware)in their schools.

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Object lessons are a huge part of children's ministries and are used in Anglican and Roman Catholic churches, as well as in outreach from both of those churches. Almost every children's talk in any Christian ministry involves an object lesson of some kind. Maybe you haven't heard them called that before, but if you've been to church, been to an assembly at a faith school or witnessed any kind of outreach aimed at children, it's almost certain you'll have seen an object lesson.

Laura95167 · 03/04/2026 23:16

Yes! Yes you should.

Id be less concerned about the money than the allegation an adult told my little one to keep secrets.

Id be speaking to the diocese/pastoral care/whatever in the church too

MadeInGrimsby · 03/04/2026 23:16

Piknik · 03/04/2026 23:14

Reading that made me very uncomfortable. Absolutely report.

It's a classic grooming line, isn't it?
What's one of the most basic rules? No "secrets".

MadeInGrimsby · 03/04/2026 23:14

inmyera · 03/04/2026 23:13

mine finished yesterday. NE England.

definitely report OP

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Already established.

Piknik · 03/04/2026 23:14

Reading that made me very uncomfortable. Absolutely report.

inmyera · 03/04/2026 23:13

MadeInGrimsby · 03/04/2026 22:41

Right. The schools I know must be outliers, fine.

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mine finished yesterday. NE England.

definitely report OP