Page 26 | Child given money by "Vicar" at school

worldshottestmom · 04/04/2026 07:00

leaflikebrew · 04/04/2026 05:23

Your DD could have found the £5 on the floor and pocketed it before anyone saw.

She may have made up the story so that she could buy herself an Easter Egg without knowing how the story would backfire....

I would be willing to bet a fiver that this is what actually happened.

Yeah nobody believe your children if they ever tell you information that indicates they're being groomed. They're probably lying. 🙄

RealPinkFinch · 04/04/2026 06:52

MagicTape · 03/04/2026 21:12

I'm not sure any schools in E&W were still running on Thursday - the latest term date I can find is Wednesday 1st, although possibly I've missed one. If OP is abroad then there will be different safeguarding bodies to contact.

We are in south Lincolnshire and our state schools both primary and secondary were open until Thursday! There’s a small number of counties starting Easter hols a week later than most!

PersephoneParlormaid · 04/04/2026 06:34

School should be monitoring communication, even when shut, for safeguarding issues.

Daffodildahlia · 04/04/2026 06:12

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 04/04/2026 00:35

I just assume they all are, and if ever one turns out to be normal, it’s a nice surprise.

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That's a rather negative viewpoint 😕

Movingtodarkestperu · 04/04/2026 05:54

MagicTape · 03/04/2026 21:12

I'm not sure any schools in E&W were still running on Thursday - the latest term date I can find is Wednesday 1st, although possibly I've missed one. If OP is abroad then there will be different safeguarding bodies to contact.

Almost every school in my local authority was running on Thursday, including mine and I can confirm this as I was teaching in it!
OP- definitely report to the school- at best there is a simple explanation /misunderstanding or a poorly thought out act of kindness which the school need to address (and can't if they don't know about it) and at worst, this is grooming and potentially could uncover some very serious goings on

6or7 · 04/04/2026 05:51

Was he a verger by any chance? What did he wear? Churches attract some real oddballs. I'd return the money.

leaflikebrew · 04/04/2026 05:23

Your DD could have found the £5 on the floor and pocketed it before anyone saw.

She may have made up the story so that she could buy herself an Easter Egg without knowing how the story would backfire....

I would be willing to bet a fiver that this is what actually happened.

Callmeback · 04/04/2026 05:22

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:58

To be honest I have questioned her to make sure she's not lying about it, she's absolutely adamant.

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Don't push too much. You'll put her off telling you things in the future. She's done a great thing in telling you.

ForeverTheOptomist · 04/04/2026 05:13

I hope that you are able to get in touch with the school directly. It's important that this is addressed as soon as possible, and especially whilst it is fresh in DDs mind. Children can have short memories.

TheKhakiQuail · 04/04/2026 01:07

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

Classic grooming behaviour. Even if the man in question is 100% well meaning and innocent he needs to learn this is not acceptable and is teaching children to accept grooming behaviour as normal. So yes, report it. And if he's not well-intentioned, even more reason it needs to be reported.

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 04/04/2026 00:35

ColinOfficeTrolley · 03/04/2026 21:15

Yeah, you never hear of clergy being nonces do you 🤔

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I just assume they all are, and if ever one turns out to be normal, it’s a nice surprise.

Needspaceforlego · 04/04/2026 00:32

tiptoethrutulips · 04/04/2026 00:24

Giving money or gifts to children like this, singled out and 'a secret', children who are students in your 'care' if you work in a school etc is a huge no no in any school contract. It can be interpreted as grooming at worst, favortism, etc and is completely inappropriate.

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It might not be appropriate etc etc but I don't think it in isolation could be taken as a crime that the police could pursue

Needspaceforlego · 04/04/2026 00:29

MadeInGrimsby · 04/04/2026 00:12

Well, she got the fiver from somewhere.

She could have found it or something.
You never know she might even have nicked it from somewhere.

The school need to check out what she is saying

moto748e · 04/04/2026 00:28

tiptoethrutulips · 04/04/2026 00:24

Giving money or gifts to children like this, singled out and 'a secret', children who are students in your 'care' if you work in a school etc is a huge no no in any school contract. It can be interpreted as grooming at worst, favortism, etc and is completely inappropriate.

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Of course, If that is what happened. But I think the OP is right to tread cautiously.

tiptoethrutulips · 04/04/2026 00:24

Needspaceforlego · 04/04/2026 00:21

Op given DD isn't going to be near this person until after the holiday I think I'd wait and talk to the school.

I certainly don't think its a police matter. I really don't know what people are expecting the police to do.
Giving someone money is hardly illegal. It might point to attempts as grooming but I don't think the police would be in any way interested at this stage.

Giving money or gifts to children like this, singled out and 'a secret', children who are students in your 'care' if you work in a school etc is a huge no no in any school contract. It can be interpreted as grooming at worst, favortism, etc and is completely inappropriate.

CinnamonBuns67 · 04/04/2026 00:22

Yanbu that's very thoughtless inappropriate behaviour at best, predatory grooming behaviour at worst. This should not have gone unnoticed at school either, a member of staff should be closely supervising visitors interactions with pupils at all times. I'd be speaking to the DSL first day back.

Needspaceforlego · 04/04/2026 00:21

Op given DD isn't going to be near this person until after the holiday I think I'd wait and talk to the school.

I certainly don't think its a police matter. I really don't know what people are expecting the police to do.
Giving someone money is hardly illegal. It might point to attempts as grooming but I don't think the police would be in any way interested at this stage.

MadeInGrimsby · 04/04/2026 00:12

Well, she got the fiver from somewhere.

MadeInGrimsby · 04/04/2026 00:11

OhWise1 · 04/04/2026 00:09

Of course it does, but if tge school knows that individual was not even in school that day, then the 'incident' dies not need to be wider desseminated

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Well then it's easily resolved if he wasn't even there. The Church can confirm that.

Original poster

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 04/04/2026 00:09

OhWise1 · 03/04/2026 23:43

Please log with the school and give them a chance to investigate. I would advise strongly against contacting the diocese directly. Kids DO sometimes lie (not necessarily saying your dd is) and the school will know context, for example whether your dd was sitting next to the individual concerned, and whether the story checks out. The diocese will not and hence not be able to investigate in the same way.

Edited

This is what I'm going to do. I'm not naive enough to think there's no chance she could be lying, she has been caught out in lies before (although nothing as serious as this) and as much as I'd like to think she wouldn't lie about something so serious I would rather the school investigate it first before taking it further. However I will be extremely shocked if she has made it all up, she's very adamant about it

OP posts:

yikesss · 04/04/2026 00:09

Id raise a safeguarding concern with the church they are serving. They are open over Easter 😊 they should have the safeguarding leads details available online, most do

OhWise1 · 04/04/2026 00:09

MadeInGrimsby · 04/04/2026 00:05

The adult in theae instances is not protected just in case they get "upset". It has to be investigated.

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Of course it does, but if tge school knows that individual was not even in school that day, then the 'incident' dies not need to be wider desseminated

MadeInGrimsby · 04/04/2026 00:06

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/04/2026 23:56

Not if it’s not true. Eg if she didn’t meet the vicar that day because he wasn’t in, or he was with a teacher all the time, then it’s clearly a fantasy

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So, what are you saying? It shouldn't be investigated? I don't understand
It's a safeguarding problem. There's a procedure.

MadeInGrimsby · 04/04/2026 00:05

OhWise1 · 04/04/2026 00:02

And this would be extremely upsetting for the individual concerned.

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The adult in theae instances is not protected just in case they get "upset". It has to be investigated.

Original poster

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 04/04/2026 00:04

Isittimeformynapyet · 03/04/2026 23:33

Did your daughter show you the £5 @TakeALookAtTheseSwatches?

Yes she pulled it out of her pocket when we got home

OP posts: