Child given money by "Vicar" at school

This! There should be no secrets or 'just between me and you' whatsoever!

You shouldn’t have had to prove the holidays but as someone that also lives in County Durham, school broke up on Thursday.

I would speak to the school to get the context. My children went to a C of E primary school and never received money when the minister was there for assemblies. £5 is a lot to give if every child was being given money. I do hope there’s a simple explanation and nothing sinister. Good that your child told you about it.

Of course I know what it is, I wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise. At my primary school on Maundy Thursday we all got a coin, thats why I mentioned it to the op as the child was given money on Maundy Thursday.
Just because this is not something that may have happened at your school is no excuse to imply someone is stupid for bringing it up.

The emails will all have the same format so first name. Lastname@school.ac.uk or similar so whatever their school admin address is replace the first part with firstname. Lastname@

Volunteer DBS are paid for by the church or other organisation and are much cheaper than one for work, just over £10 last I heard ( sign up to the update service and other organisations you volunteer for can use the DBS ( but you can't use it for paid positions) if you already have one the church can use that , obviously doing all the id checks

I’d be going to LADO & church in the meantime before school.

Anyone working with children should be doing basic safeguarding training and keeping ‘just between you & me’ is clearly taught as a huge red flag.

Either the church / school isn’t training whoever they’re sending out to well enough or perhaps not screened well enough.

I’m not sure why you’d wait and give someone the chance to explain with this. Your child hasn’t been safeguarded and whoever’s fault it is needs a rocket up thier arse. Ignorance is not a valid reason.

Highlighting certain failures in child protection often leads to more rigorous protocols or sadly uncovering more severe issues. It’s child protection, nothing too small to ignore.

Durham county council will definitely have a LADO that will be monitoring calls and messages over the holiday. Not sure on weekends and bank holidays. https://durham-scp.org.uk/practitioners/allegations-against-staff-or-volunteers-lado/

You need to talk to the school. He’s their guest and so their responsibility in the first instance.

Talk then report because once reported it’s out of your hands and you may not find out what’s gone/going on.

As others have said praise your daughter for coming to you - but not to include her too much in reporting, comments etc.

I hope it’s all a misunderstanding but from what you’ve written I fear it’s not. It’s not just the gift but the ‘it’s a secret’ business.

I’ve had to say the odd thing to new/junior teachers - but nothing like this. Ever.

Mine were more to do with the inappropriateness of farting jokes.

You might contact someone on the PTA or even parents WhatsApp group to see if they have an email address - copy in the head as well as safeguarding lead.

You should definitely report this incident, even if it turns out to be false. Is there a school mum/dad/carer of a child in the same class you trust and can chat to in confidence (without giving too much away) to see what their child told them about what went on?

You should contact either the Police on 101 or Children's Social Care as the Vicar is in a position of trust and this may need LADO involvement.

https://www.durham.gov.uk/article/33386/Privacy-notice-for-Local-Authority-Designated-Officer-LADO-children-s-social-care

LADO Contact Number – 03000 268835

100% put it in an email so you have a paper trail, in addition to speaking to the Head face to face to explain what happened. Cc in the lead governor, ask to see their complaints policy and specifically say in the email that they are to take this as an official complaint and you want to be notified of how it has been addressed and the outcomes. Tell them if they fail to do so, you will go to the police. It is REALLY important that you do it this way so they don’t brush it under the carpet. This is totally unacceptable and that ‘vicar’ could be a real danger to any young person they come into contact with, especially one that is vulnerable or doesn’t have someone they feel comfortable telling like your daughter has. I guarantee the school will be appalled, in fact they’ll sh1t themselves because this is the epitome of safeguarding red flags, they can’t be allowed to pacify you with play-downs and make it quietly disappear. You also need to tell her she’s amazing for telling you and reward her for her honesty. Don’t leave it, he cannot be allowed to behave like this, there’s a strong possibility his behaviour could escalate if it’s not addressed, it’s dodgy AF, massively inappropriate, very ill-judged at best.

@TakeALookAtTheseSwatches if you PM me the name of the school, I will find the DSL and contact details for you.

Anyone complaining about a DBS check needs to give their head a wobble.

We'd all like to live in a world where people wouldn't need one to volunteer at a church, but we don't.

@Daffodildahlia

These people are not employees, they are volunteers.

There's no charge for Standard, Enhanced, or Enhanced with Barred Lists DBS checks for volunteer positions.

If the organization you're volunteering for uses a 3rd party to process them, it's likely there will be an admin fee, but that's down to the organization.

But that's not the point. Anyone arguing against the DBS is picking the strangest hill to die on. It doesn't matter what people think of the bureaucracy or if they can't afford it, their desire to spend their free time with other people's kids doesn't trump a vital safety measure.

The school website should list the DSL and how to contact them. Look under “Safeguarding” or “Who’s Who”. It really should be on the front page of any school website. Email them now. Someone from the SG team will monitor that Inbox throughout the holiday.

Even though it’s the school holidays, someone will be monitoring emails for CP/safeguarding concerns. Don’t wait a fortnight.

This needs to be a formal complaint to the school and if the person hasn't been dealt with escalate it. He is potentially grooming your child. This is incredibly serious. This could well be a test; if he thinks she has kept this secret, she is the ideal victim to abuse.

Yes, I challenged that upthread, but some people said that they got money on Maundy Thursday, so maybe it's a tradition somewhere. I've never heard of it, though.

"and that it was "just between me and you"

This is the bit that's inappropriate and a safeguarding flag.

Do people not actually realise what Maundy money is. It’s money given by the monarch to selected people. 🙄

Yes, straight to the police. Report it to school afterwards, and I'd report it to the Child Safeguarding Team at your local council. If you report it across tge board it's less likely to slip through the net if, indeed, there is something sinister happening.

Who in the world gives a child money and then tells them it's a secret?

A sex pest.

Because they'd have to be an absolutely monumental idiot to think something like that is acceptable otherwise, and I wouldn't want someone that thick around kids either.

Obviously this needs to be reported, but if someone did that to a child in my family I'd be paying them a visit immediately rather than hearing their side of the story second or third hand.

The parish church should also have a safeguarding officer, with contact details listed on their website. So if you google the church you should be able to make contact.

Surely you can see that's not a knee jerk reaction? It was the final straw after generations of abuse cover-ups in churches.

I didn't insult volunteers at all! I said that if people were complaining about being "penalised" because they had to pay £50 for a DBS check, they need to take a long hard look at themselves. Which is true.