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Original poster

Child given money by "Vicar" at school

812 replies

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OP posts:
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Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 00:02

FinalFinalFile · 06/04/2026 23:58

Oh in that case, never mind, hey. Hopefully that vicar with potentially questionable boundaries isn’t in contact with other kids regularly then, oh, wait…

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Egged on by mumsnet. "vicar". The OP doesn't know it was a vicar. And has said her kid tells lies

FinalFinalFile · 06/04/2026 23:58

Blueshoey484 · 06/04/2026 23:35

Someone gives a kid a fiver in a public place and they are automatically a groomer? When is this vicar going to see your kid again OP? At the Christmas service? When are they going to get your child alone to groom them?

Oh in that case, never mind, hey. Hopefully that vicar with potentially questionable boundaries isn’t in contact with other kids regularly then, oh, wait…

Reallyneedsaholiday · 06/04/2026 23:57

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 14:21

Every school in our MAT has, plus the adjoining MATs. It's recognised procedure.

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“If the matter is a child protection emergency during a school holiday, please contact the Local Authority’s children's services team or the police directly.”

From our local schools website

Blueshoey484 · 06/04/2026 23:35

Someone gives a kid a fiver in a public place and they are automatically a groomer? When is this vicar going to see your kid again OP? At the Christmas service? When are they going to get your child alone to groom them?

Blueshoey484 · 06/04/2026 23:32

HeyThereDelila · 06/04/2026 22:36

After your email I would go in immediately on first day back, ask for a meeting with the Head. Ask for an immediate investigation and plan on escalating to diocese, Ofsted, Governors and the church in question if not satisfactorily resolved. If this is true it’s a huge red flag and that man shouldn’t be visiting schools or in contact with children.

Bloody hell

tryandbepositive · 06/04/2026 23:26

That is shocking. She’s lucky to have you and that she’s told you. Good luck and hopefully it gets addressed properly. What a creep.

ClarkeFangirl · 06/04/2026 23:04

As well as being a clear safeguarding red flag for the school, anyone in the clergy should have been through safeguarding training. The DSL at school needs to know, and it will also need to be reported to the parish team. Not sure whose responsibility the latter is, but these are two organisations with a statutory responsibility to keep children safe.

I'm so sorry.

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 22:52

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 06/04/2026 22:43

I did ask her if anyone else saw and she said a girl saw it happen and asked her about it but she lied (because she'd been told to "keep it between me and you") and said it was from her bag. I'm hoping they've got CCTV in the hall so it can be properly cleared up.

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Perhaps someone at school could speak to that girl. CCTV would be a great help.

Original poster
TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 06/04/2026 22:43

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 22:34

You're not being thick! It's fine to send the email to the general address. Someone will pick it up.
Has your DD shared any information which could help further?

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I did ask her if anyone else saw and she said a girl saw it happen and asked her about it but she lied (because she'd been told to "keep it between me and you") and said it was from her bag. I'm hoping they've got CCTV in the hall so it can be properly cleared up.

OP posts:
moto748e · 06/04/2026 22:37

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 06/04/2026 22:26

I genuinely can't find any information on the website (happy to send you a link to the website through private messages in case I'm being thick) I sent an email to the general school email address on Saturday, I've yet to hear anything back but it has been bank holiday today so I wouldn't expect anyone to be checking it.

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I've been following the OP's posts on this thread (although not everything else), and I can't believe after 19 pages people are banging on about email addresses.

HeyThereDelila · 06/04/2026 22:36

After your email I would go in immediately on first day back, ask for a meeting with the Head. Ask for an immediate investigation and plan on escalating to diocese, Ofsted, Governors and the church in question if not satisfactorily resolved. If this is true it’s a huge red flag and that man shouldn’t be visiting schools or in contact with children.

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 22:34

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 06/04/2026 22:26

I genuinely can't find any information on the website (happy to send you a link to the website through private messages in case I'm being thick) I sent an email to the general school email address on Saturday, I've yet to hear anything back but it has been bank holiday today so I wouldn't expect anyone to be checking it.

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You're not being thick! It's fine to send the email to the general address. Someone will pick it up.
Has your DD shared any information which could help further?

Original poster
TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 06/04/2026 22:26

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 18:06

You rotate it. That's the deal.
I've never heard of a state school that is remiss on this issue. There is always an emergency contact number on the website.
It's rarely "working" it's like emergency on call. In 15 years I've only had to deal with a few issues over the holidays.
It has to be done, though.

Edited
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I genuinely can't find any information on the website (happy to send you a link to the website through private messages in case I'm being thick) I sent an email to the general school email address on Saturday, I've yet to hear anything back but it has been bank holiday today so I wouldn't expect anyone to be checking it.

OP posts:
Blueshoey484 · 06/04/2026 21:33

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 21:23

What other side ? OP has questioned her DD and she’s adamant that she’s telling the truth. It’s not down to OP to investigate the other side of it - that’s down to the appropriate authorities.

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And she said her daughter has lied before. More than once.

Bemused89 · 06/04/2026 21:31

Email for most school headteachers is [email protected].sch.uk look at the office email you send if unsure. I would send an email to it with headteacher in place of office and see it if bounces. All headteachers I know are monitoring email over holidays to some degree. Unlike teachers, senior lead ship are exempt from the directed time and formally work during the holiday at times.

Definitely chase though. This is a major safeguarding issue- this should be immediately logged and dealt with by the safeguarding leads for fact finding. Ask them to report back your findings and if not satisfied by their answers then escalate to governors and then Ofsted. If this has happened as she has said, then in finding it out you could well have stopped a groomer or worse.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 06/04/2026 21:23

Julimia · 06/04/2026 17:43

Fing out the other side of this story before you go diving in

What other side ? OP has questioned her DD and she’s adamant that she’s telling the truth. It’s not down to OP to investigate the other side of it - that’s down to the appropriate authorities.

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 20:52

Julimia · 06/04/2026 20:50

I know that very well but there are still two sides and safeguarding will acknowledge that too.

So you report to safeguarding and the process begins.
You don't fail to report!

Julimia · 06/04/2026 20:50

I know that very well but there are still two sides and safeguarding will acknowledge that too.

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 19:19

Lonelyumbrella · 06/04/2026 19:08

If it’s an emergency then the police should be contacted.

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If it's not, the designated safeguard lead or their deputy.

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 06/04/2026 19:10

Usernamefuture · 06/04/2026 01:50

Not nice

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Neither was the nonce who sexually assaulted me while wearing his flowy robes and cross. Fucking pervs, liars and hypocrites.

Lonelyumbrella · 06/04/2026 19:08

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 17:53

That's poor. Usually there is someone to pick up on issues, supposing something critical occurs?
A designated person is standard.

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If it’s an emergency then the police should be contacted.

Clementine12 · 06/04/2026 18:52

EverythingElseIsTaken · 06/04/2026 18:28

I’ve just checked the websites of each primary in our trust. They all give the office phone number and general email address, no DSL contact details. I can get into the inbox remotely with a school laptop with stringent security. That laptop is an huge old brick and would exceed my luggge allowance. It is possible to access the inbox via a mobile but it is not easy and we are told NOT to work during holidays (although I often do when in the UK).

And who pays the roaming charges? I never pay for roaming (on free WiFi at the moment)

I honestly do understand the importance if safeguarding and this is why I said the OP should contact the LADO.

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Well ofsted would have a field day with your school and trust! I have just checked my youngest’s primary school and on the homepage it has the specific safeguarding email underneath the general admin one.

And why an old brick of a laptop?! It sounds like your school needs serious updating all round.

CheltenhamLady · 06/04/2026 18:49

Not sure if you are aware Op, but this post has been picked up and is posted on Facebook.

Pherian · 06/04/2026 18:46

Does this person come to her school often ? If so have they shown a particular interest in her ? I would be watching the situation very closely. I would definitely tell the school and the other parents.

MadeInGrimsby · 06/04/2026 18:32

Clementine12 · 06/04/2026 18:24

SLT contracts actually state reasonable work!and being contactable in holidays and safeguarding failures can result in Ofsted failure. I have never known a school to have zero safeguarding in the holidays at all!

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Same here. It's in our SLT contracts and, as you say, critical for Ofsted.