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Original poster

Child given money by "Vicar" at school

812 replies

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OP posts:
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pepperminticecream · 07/04/2026 21:58

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 21:40

😂
I don't need to Google anything, thank you!
😂😂

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Perhaps I’m confused by your earlier statement and if so then I’m sorry. It seemed you were encouraging the OP to further talk to her DD about the situation.

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 21:43

ThatLemonBee · 07/04/2026 21:42

Excuse me ? Why are you even questioning this child ? It’s people like you who won’t believe children that perpetuate child abuse . The realists off this situation is that the child is paramount , an adult that is not guilty will have no issue proving it .

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This, exactly. I've no idea why people don't understand this very basic point about safeguarding.

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 21:42

There's a lot of assumptions going on here!
Not very wise ones 😕

ThatLemonBee · 07/04/2026 21:42

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/04/2026 18:23

Hmm I’m torn now on whether she’s telling the truth or lying. Did the vicar get up from the sofa and stand next to your DD? Seems like other child and cctv if there is any will resolve this.

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Excuse me ? Why are you even questioning this child ? It’s people like you who won’t believe children that perpetuate child abuse . The realists off this situation is that the child is paramount , an adult that is not guilty will have no issue proving it .

OneGreatUmberZebra · 07/04/2026 21:41

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

You are NBU to be concerned about this

You are BU by beginning your post with “So”. Why oh why do people do this?!

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 21:40

pepperminticecream · 07/04/2026 21:12

You should Google best practice. The advice in this situation is to listen calmly, take notes and report to the police/school, etc. you should not question the child multiple times. That should be left to the police, etc as they know the correct way to deal with this type of questioning.

OP had already done a great job of asking the right questions, clarifying and then reporting. She should NOT keep asking her about it.

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😂
I don't need to Google anything, thank you!
😂😂

pepperminticecream · 07/04/2026 21:14

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/04/2026 18:23

Hmm I’m torn now on whether she’s telling the truth or lying. Did the vicar get up from the sofa and stand next to your DD? Seems like other child and cctv if there is any will resolve this.

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Why do you have an opinion on if the dd is lying or not and why are you probing for details. This isn’t a true crime podcast! OP posted to make sure she was taking the right steps, not for other posters to decide if her DD is lying

pepperminticecream · 07/04/2026 21:12

YourHeartyFatball · 07/04/2026 18:50

It’s not our place to decide whether a child who has made a disclosure of this nature is lying or not. The allegation has been made and must be followed up.

Exactly.

pepperminticecream · 07/04/2026 21:12

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 17:04

I never said she hadn't?

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You should Google best practice. The advice in this situation is to listen calmly, take notes and report to the police/school, etc. you should not question the child multiple times. That should be left to the police, etc as they know the correct way to deal with this type of questioning.

OP had already done a great job of asking the right questions, clarifying and then reporting. She should NOT keep asking her about it.

LadyLaundry · 07/04/2026 19:12

Contact the school, the diocese safeguarding bod and the police.

This is red flag bunting.

YourHeartyFatball · 07/04/2026 18:50

It’s not our place to decide whether a child who has made a disclosure of this nature is lying or not. The allegation has been made and must be followed up.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/04/2026 18:23

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 07/04/2026 08:12

So apparently the Vicar was sat on the sofa at the very back of the hall, my daughter was sat slightly behind the back row because there wasn't too much room, she said it was at the very end of assembly when there was a song so people were maybe standing/moving around/singing. She's quite small so it would have been possible that the kids in front obscured the view of anyone else. I did ask what she did with the fiver and she said she put it up her sleeve.

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Hmm I’m torn now on whether she’s telling the truth or lying. Did the vicar get up from the sofa and stand next to your DD? Seems like other child and cctv if there is any will resolve this.

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 18:15

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 18:10

Which is exactly what I said - you were the one who said it was unnecessary because the child was a liar. Not engaging with this any more, it’s derailing the thread. Have a good day.

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You're derailing it - not me. The mother said she had a history of telling lies. I didn't just pull that from thin air

No. If you read a post I made this morning I said that the NSPCC was an option. Hth

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 18:10

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 18:02

I'm not interested in your posts. I think you've said enough. Don't you. The OP has options. She can call police. Involve the NSPCC or email the safeguarding team which she has done

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Which is exactly what I said - you were the one who said it was unnecessary because the child was a liar. Not engaging with this any more, it’s derailing the thread. Have a good day.

Clavinova · 07/04/2026 18:06

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 18:02

I didn't get the impression that she knew the name

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Here:

She knows their name and it will be C of E because it's a C of E school. Apparently this person sometimes does the services but it's also done by a couple of other people too so I'm not confident it's the actual Vicar, maybe a curate?

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 18:02

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 17:51

I thought the OP knew this person's name? Correct me if I'm wrong.

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I didn't get the impression that she knew the name

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 18:02

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 17:54

Not the impression I got from your posts. We safeguard children. We tell them to report anything amiss to us. What is the point if we’re going to disbelieve them and dismiss any concerns without at least investigating ? Because that’s what you seem to be suggesting.

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I'm not interested in your posts. I think you've said enough. Don't you. The OP has options. She can call police. Involve the NSPCC or email the safeguarding team which she has done

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 18:00

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 17:55

Totally irrelevant.

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Why did you mention if I had children then? If a child of mine came home. You posted that. Maybe you could consider that there are reasons some people don't have kids and say nothing

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 17:55

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 17:40

I don't have kids. Wise not to assume that everyone does

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Totally irrelevant.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 17:54

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 17:41

I'm not really interested in getting into a never ending argument tbh

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Not the impression I got from your posts. We safeguard children. We tell them to report anything amiss to us. What is the point if we’re going to disbelieve them and dismiss any concerns without at least investigating ? Because that’s what you seem to be suggesting.

Daffodildahlia · 07/04/2026 17:53

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 17:52

Even if she doesn’t surely the school will know ?

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That's what I thought - it all seems a bit odd...

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 17:53

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 17:52

Even if she doesn’t surely the school will know ?

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True

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2026 17:52

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 17:51

I thought the OP knew this person's name? Correct me if I'm wrong.

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Even if she doesn’t surely the school will know ?

Daffodildahlia · 07/04/2026 17:52

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 17:50

I think so. They've obviously not tracked down the vicar as the schools are currently off.

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I thought they knew the school was C of E? So the local Anglican vicar should be able to advise, if not surely there is a safeguarding officer on duty ??

MadeInGrimsby · 07/04/2026 17:51

Blueshoey484 · 07/04/2026 17:50

I think so. They've obviously not tracked down the vicar as the schools are currently off.

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I thought the OP knew this person's name? Correct me if I'm wrong.