I think once married you should be treated like a unit. I’m not saying the same exact amount you should get as your husband (MIL’s son) but if he gets a gift for his bday you should get at least a little something. I feel the same for Mother’s Day Father’s Day if there are children if husband gets a gift on Father’s Day then you get a gift on Mother’s Day. If he gets a Xmas gift then you should get one. I read a thread I can’t remember if it was on this particular forum or not but it was 4 days after DIL had given birth and her MIL got just her son something for becoming a first time father and the DIL who said 4 days prior pushed a whole human out of her vagina got nothing. It was wild to me how some MIL’s can be so tone deaf not to consider their DILs

I never got any presents from my in-laws. I’ve always got on with them really well. My MIL has known me for over 40 years and still sings my praises whenever she sees me. I’ve never minded not getting gifts. I’ve not got gifts for them either. They aren’t my parents. I’m also very close to my DILs, I genuinely think they are great. I’m really glad that we don’t do presents.

There is nothing wrong with doing presents if you want but there is nothing wrong with not doing them.

Why are you angry at your husband though? Do you really want him to confront his parents so they feel obliged to buy you presents? How would that work in practice?

The baby comment is thoughtless but unless you know it was malicious I would assume it was ‘just’ a dumb comment. The fact it made you cry and cry suggests there was a lot else going on or some massive backstory.

Two completely different situations.

It has never occurred to me that my in laws should buy me birthday or Christmas presents. But I also don’t get involved in their present buying. My parents do my husband a birthday present every year but they would buy presents for the dog if we had one, they love it!

The go for a boy comment was rude.

Nope ... never had gifts from in-laws on any occasion. Happily I do not care!

1 never give them a gift again. If DH wants to, he can. #2 bring up the comment with MIL and call her on it!! I'm so tired of hearing about mothers in law bullying the women who have married their sons!!!

I know we should be grateful for any gift given. I know adults shouldn’t care much about receiving birthday presents. But who in their right mind wraps up a magazine to give to someone? It’s weird. If things get a bit tight making magazines over budget, will they wrap up a copy of the Daily Mirror?

No need to pay any attention, they're not worth your time or thought. Be polite at all times, maybe try record what MIL says to also observe how you come across? Don't let her jabs change you, they're designed to make you feel uncomfortable.

500k property is well off, I agree, but with the attitude they show it looks like they're a new money type and it'll take centuries for such to evolve and understand the importance of decent (forget noble) behaviour.

Love yourself, don't fight with hubby. 💪🌟

Does she know that it is the male chromosomes (Xy) that decide the sex of the child?? Women have two female (XX) chromosomes so can only pass on a female one. If your DH's sperm carrying the (y) ie male chromosome can't swim fast enough it's not your fault!! Your DH sounds like an overgrown Mummys Boy who should be standing up for the Mum of his 3 children. Not making excuses for his rude family.

My in laws always bought me presents. At first they weren’t the same value as DH but over the years they have become equal.

Our sin has had two girlfriends and I’ve also bought them gifts when he was with them over birthdays/christmas time. We’ve even bought current one an Easter gift (son said she gets loads of chocolate eggs so we go her something else).

My PIL do and then do not buy me a present. I actually would prefer they did not. My MIL made a snide comment about my Christmas present - hidden in a box of maltesers which was made to look like it was just that (v clever but now I am in two minds about using the main gift). I normally sell the present my FIL regifts from his partner’s wardrobe (Mumsnet no no but someone always seems to buy it). I normally buy my PIL a present from the children as my husband is crap but I could not be ducked so they went without last year.

the comment after the third is horrible. I would just not bother sorting out gifts for them but I am petty

Do they buy you Christmas presents? Different people have very different views on present giving but most people would expect them to be equitable or proportionate. You can't change other people's behaviour but you can change how you react to it. This is obviously an issue for you, so i would leave ALL present buying for inlaws to husband and remove yourself from the whole thing and just forget about getting anything from them. Learn to detach and ignore. It's a great self preservation tool.

Let your DH deal with their presents, don't get involved.

My student teacher got me a copy of Country Living (he knows I'm moving there soon!) and I can't lie, I was a bit wtf. Never read it imy life, found it incredibly boring.

My motto in life is that no one owes me anything.

If I get a gift, I'm very grateful, and if I don't, I don't.

Don't buy them gifts. Don't expect gifts.

Just because someone else has money doesn't mean they owe you anything. And if they feel about it in a similar way I do regarding my in-laws, who have always had grand assumptions about what I should or shouldn't share with them, they might be just as resolute that they just won't go down that road as otherwise the assumptions will never stop as you believe they owe you because they are "well to do".

I think I would pass out in shock if my mother in law remembered my birthday. My step mother in law literally said oh she remembered but didn’t bother sending a card or text when my husband (after much prompting by me) called her to ask if she had received the card (that I sent her) the following week for her birthday!

remember you married him not his family, just be better to your children’s significant others when the time comes and next generation will have wonderful in laws 😍

I wouldn't necessarily expect anything from them but i then also wouldn't contribute to their gift either, leave DH to sort it himself.
As for the baby comment, its crappy behaviour and sounds like although she will love baby, she would have liked a boy and will likely say it was in jest when there was actually some truth to it. My in laws behaviour is appalling ... really hope im nicer to my future daughter in law in years to come than so many others are!

They are nasty people. Enabled by your h. He’s a coward.

Stop trying with them. Do not buy them gifts. And next time your mil says something about trying for a son, tell her your dds are amazing and doesn’t she think so too?

You’re going to have to stand up for yourself because your h is a wet lettuce. Don’t you be one too. Rather be thought of a a bitch than a drip.

@NewHere1701 some people just don't buy birthday gifts. YABU to expect anything. Flowers are nice.

And as for her baby comment, it sounds like she has a very dry sense of humour so yes, i think you are being over sensitive due to the hormones.

I dont see what the price of their house or how many customers they have is relevant. It makes you sound materialistic.

No, it absolutely isn’t. I’ve met people like that who think they are doing you a favour by merely existing. I do genuinely wonder how she’s survived so long.

My ILs have always bought me a lovely birthday gift but as DH is an only child they only have us & our DC to buy for. On the other hand I am one of four, all married with DC. My DPs buy everyone Christmas gifts but don't buy for the spouses birthdays unless it’s a big birthday. My DH got a similar gift to me for our 50th birthdays.
Every family is different. I would ensure DH does all the gift buying for them.

The sound horrible.
I’d make sure they get a magazine for their birthdays and christmases going forward

My DS, 17, has been dating his first girlfriend for 2 months, also 17, she’s a sweet girl and I’ve bought her an Easter egg as she’s round ours a fair bit.
I’d hate her to feel left out on Sunday.

@NewHere1701 OP, you’ve pulled the short straw with in-laws I’m afraid. Forget them don’t let it upset you anymore.

My I’ll-laws were absolutely rubbish at providing us the ‘village’ we needed when the kids were young - it was hurtful -, but we’re great at buying us all presents.

I can't imagine I'd get involved with buying either of them birthday presents.. They sound a bit miserable

They are doing the bare minimum. I suggest you reciprocate.

Yes they sound weird and rude but you're putting far too much emotional stock in these people. They don't give you presents. Accept and move on. Id rather receive nothing than a magazine but maybe your husband mentioned to them you had kicked up a fuss so they felt obliged in some way.
My mil occasionally has got me a present but not always. She has enough going on in her life and is a bit weird socially, I really don't care. I don't get her presents, DH does.