AIBU to feel harassed by charity chuggers targeting women in public?

I tell them that as a matter of principle, i don't give to any charity that uses chuggers.

There's not a lot they can say to that really. I am more than happy to explain in great detail exactly what I think of chugging but sadly I guess I have the kind of face that screams for God's sake don't set her off on one.

@Cherriesandapples1

It's all about the word 'no' being respected and not leading to any form of harassment.

That's a good point - presumably the chuggers (and any decent-minded person) would agree that "no means no" when it comes to sex. They would presumably consider anyone persisting after that to be behaving inappropriately. But they don't apply the same standards to their role as a chugger.

At least in some cases, I think it's because they're explicitly trained not to take the first 'no' for an answer. An article by a professional chugger referred to the process as "objection handling".

A fun variation of this is to look them in the eye and say ‘Nah, sorry mate, I don’t speak English’.
If they persist and tell you that you are actually speaking English just deny it - ‘No, I’m not. I just told you I don’t speak English’.
I get a bit of amusement out of it 😊

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack

I'm commenting on the more typical chugger behaviour where they don't want to take no for an answer - I have seen this happening to others and I often feel that they could easily shut the conversations down with a different approach.

It's not in itself an unfair point, and you say that some people don't know how to handle persistent chugging, which is true. But I think it's also true that not everyone is capable of giving a response that might shut the conversation down - people who are very socially awkward/have social anxiety, for example.

Depending on the individual and their temperament, a persistent chugger can be an intimidating experience.

It's all about the word 'no' being respected and not leading to any form of harassment. Women shouldn't have to try a million ways of saying no for it to be respected and not be called a bitch or whatever. It's not just an unpopular job, it's predatory. Targeting mainly women or vulnerable. Could you imagine going into Asda and being harassed by their staff to put extra items in your trolley trying to strike up conversation with you to get you to part with more money and then when you tell them to leave you alone they make rude comments or carry on. No, that would be ridiculous, but it's acceptable because the chuggers are raising money for charity?

As a 17 year old, trying to catch a bus, being walked Infront of prevented from going around them while they were side stepping, arguing with me, I shouldn't have to shout at them to fuck off and leave me alone, I shouldn't have to contact the police. The practice should simply be banned

In previous jobs I saw a lot of older people's finances and the amount of older women who had many direct debits set up to charities when they were struggling to pay for necessities was extraordinary. I can only imagine how many of these were set up through these people

I got tricked by one recently, who called out "excuse Miss, did you drop this?" to get my attention. When I realised what he had done, I could have punched him! Cheeky fucker

My go to is “I already give to charity” seems to shut them up. Anyone who pays tax and that’s anyone who buys things with VAT, which is everybody, pays money to charity. Many “charities” are completely bankrolled by Government spending. Another one is “are you trying to sell me something?” to random sellers you sometimes get in the street. I can’t stand these people and will actively avoid talking to them.

I refuse to give any personal details to anyone on the street on principle, nevermind my bank details! I hate those market research ppl too, they often follow and try and give me 'compliments'. I find it really awkward so I just walk away.

The law should be changed so that you cannot do other than collect cash in this way, no taking of anyone's card details in a public place. Those who employ them are also probably breaking minimum wage legislation if it applied to them.

In the meantime agree with calling the police.

Well ‘fuck off’ is usually effective. They are creepy ‘hello lovely lady’ etc.

Well, no, of course I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't compare people who are trying to make a living by doing an unpopular job with men who sexually assault or abuse women.

If chuggers are actively harassing women, following them or physically threatening them in any way, then people should call the police. I have never seen a chugger behaving in this way but obviously, if that's happening, then they should be reported and dealt with.

I'm commenting on the more typical chugger behaviour where they don't want to take no for an answer - I have seen this happening to others and I often feel that they could easily shut the conversations down with a different approach.

Complete with low top and high heels?

I don’t know where you live that there are a lot of good looking men so would you try to charm the older uglier ones?

Creepy, sleazy?! All this from me saying if I was a young chugger as a woman I'd enjoy chatting with good looking men.

It is possible to speak with members of the opposite sex and not be creepy and sleazy you know.

Don't all (straight) women, young or otherwise enjoy chatting to good looking men, or is it just me?

I see them ignoring men all the time and picking women. Even when they do ask the men, they would be very unlikely to stand in their way or swear at them for saying no.
You can call it women victim mentality all you like but it doesn't make it any less true than women are targeted more than men. It's like saying men are subject to just as much sexual violence or domestic violence as women because you know a man who has experienced it, doesn't mean it is an equally experienced situation between the sexes. Awful regardless of who ever experiences it, but not experienced in equal quantities. I can guarantee my partner has never been blocked by one, swore at etc because they would be far more worried about his reaction than mine

Again with the women victim mentality. My dh gets them much more than me. In fact just yesterday we were together and they approached him not me!

I always did the polite "no thank you" then I actually replayed thw whole interaction in my head"

Them- "Would you like to help children living with cancer?"

Me- "no thank you"

We had the British Heart Foundation at the local leisure centre recently. Stopped us to ask if they could talk to us about CPR. We politely declined as we needed to get DD home, showered and fed after swimming. We both are fully up to date with CPR techniques with our work anyway.

Twatty guy said “Hope you never need CPR”🙄

I once nipped to the local shop and some woman had a huge stall set up just outside the door for some dog charity

She collared me just as I was coming out and demanded my bank details

I said no,I wasnt handing out my personal data to anyone but I would shove a pound in a bucket

She didnt have a bucket so I wandered off-only to have her shout after me 'GUESS YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT DOGS YOU SILLY BITCH!'

I reported her to the charity and heard nothing back

They need to be banned

Um, yeah. 🤔 Context is everything, no?🙄

"Join our brigade of charity marketing workers and you too could target passers by with your creepy, unwanted attention!"

You know there are far easier, normal and readily accessible ways of chatting up the opposite sex without appearing sleazy, right? 😂

I would respectfully suggest you rethink your stance on who's to blame here. If a woman had been sexually assaulted or abused by men . I hope you wouldn't just tell them, maybe the men reacted that way because you were too softly spoken or he called you a bitch because you said no too firmly, just because you hadn't experienced the same when you'd turned down men in the past
These chuggers are targeting women and following them, refusing to let them get past by blocking their way, calling them names when they say they aren't interested. This is not the fault of women just wanting to go about their day not wanting to engage with these people

I fully understand the link between paying a decent salary and getting the right skilled person for the job.

What I object to is the ordinary working person /SAHM/ pensioners being pounced on by these charities, every time they leave their home to go shopping / pick up a loaf of bread, or attend a hospital appointment. 😡

Im more annoyed about the self check out tills asking you to donate to who-knows-what or the BBC/Red Nose day trying to get money by using innocent kids.

Or ‘you mean you can see me 😱’ 🤣

It depends on how well the rules are enforced in the area. Some places are really strict and charities have to pitch for spots under regulations. If they don't comply they don't get a pitch. Other areas don't have the same level of bylaws /restrictions and enforcement.

Well not really. They are persistent and honestly I don’t have the time to discuss it with them. I haven’t met one who keeps on after being told to fuck off though