AIBU to feel harassed by charity chuggers targeting women in public?

I can't for the life of me understand why supermarkets allow them to block the entrance/exit with their stall and annoy people who are trying to do their shopping.

It wouldn't be so bad if they just stood quietly to the side, so that donors could approach them if they wanted to give; but they never do that - they always call out to people passing by and put them on the spot to decline.

It's annoying enough when they have British Gas, conservatory or will-writing firms there who approach you, but it doesn't carry any of the same social sense of being 'a bad person' if you say "No thanks" to an obvious commercial company (one that isn't trying to make you think that they're a charity) touting for business.

The attempt to find a conversation you know very well is not like they care or want... I tried to be nice because they were just doing their job.

I dislike the ones who stand outside of our local co-op, I have a slight quilt of feeling zero guilt for ignoring them 😂

We have been donating monthly for the last 20 years plus, we prefer to choose our charities.

I hate it. One asked me ‘excuse me but do you like dogs’ and when I replied ‘I’m sorry I’m not interested’ he replied ‘oh so you don’t like dogs <mock horror>’. My son was upset - ‘mummy why did you not say you like dogs’
I was furious.

I don’t think charities should be allowed to ‘cold call’ at homes or in the street. Yes they can have a collection box (usually not allowed anymore) or a little stall with banners etc that people can approach but I don’t think they should be approaching people

Yes, whenever people say "They're only doing their job", it's worth stopping to think about what their job actually is. They're looking for somebody to sign up to make a payment to THEM for the next 6 or 12 months, by using the excuse of some charity that they've been randomly assigned.

Most of them don't care whether the charity actually ends up getting anything at all, as they know that many people will cancel after a few months. They may even have a contract whereby they're guaranteed to get the first 12 months of agreed donations for themselves, so if the donor cancels after 2 months, the charity could find themselves having to stump up the remaining 10 months of payments to them from charity funds - so the unwitting result of your signing up under their pressure and coercion can be to COST the charity a significant amount of money.

Any of them that pull the "You obviously don't care about children/blind people/the planet/donkeys" line manifestly don't care about them either themselves - if they did, they would be volunteering to raise money for them and wouldn't be trying to line their own pockets by invoking the cause as an excuse.

Chuggers harass everyone. They’re a pest. But, as an older woman, I don’t feel singularly targeted by them.

It’s the ones that knock at the door which annoy me the most. I always say ‘I’m sorry but I don’t donate to charities who do door-to-door as I find it really intrusive’ but some are still so persistent.

They have sites in a town where they are permitted. Make sure you know where these are. Just north of the market around a statue in my local town. So - avoid the designated area.

It isn't simply that I don't believe it because it hasn't happened to me. It is rather the case that I have seen chuggers who have been perfectly polite to me being quite rude/overly persistent with people who have chosen to take a different approach to them. And from what I've observed, there is a pattern.

I'm not saying that it could never happen that someone is perfectly pleasant and polite and still gets shit chucked back at them, but it is certainly a whole lot less likely and I have never seen that happen. And no, rudeness from the general public doesn't justify rudeness or poor behaviour from the chuggers, but that isn't really the point that I'm making.

If you need CPR, you’re also probably not going to be the person giving it either 😁

Exactly! No means no.

i shouldn’t have to give some long winded speech about how lovely their charity is and why I can’t donate and good luck etc etc just to have my “no thank you” respected.

Good grief 🙄 ridiculous. No thank you is perfectly polite and enough

It’s not happening “often”. I am saying it DOES happen as have multiple people in this thread.

You seem to not want to believe this just because it hasn’t happened to you which I find rather strange. I’ve never been spat at whilst jogging but I read an article by a woman saying it had happened to her and several other women.

I am able to accept that just because something hasn’t happened to me personally doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened other women 🙄.

It's probably them being nasty and ableist rather than having any care for more vulnerable people.

As well as the horrifyingly-common idea that some people have that needing to use a wheelchair automatically makes you a stupid non-person who is unable to think, reason or communicate, he likely assumed that she's on benefits and so wouldn't be ripe for the plucking; or might waste his time.

If anybody doesn't believe me, watch next time you see a wheelchair user out with an able-bodied companion. See which of them other people automatically speak to and which of them they often totally ignore.

But why even stop to engage to begin with. Just walk past with a firm 'no'.

Well, yes, I don't disagree with that. However, I find if I'm polite but firm towards them, then they are generally polite back.

Yes, and as I've said above, I would happily ban the practice. But while it is still legal, I would recommend that people develop better strategies for dealing with it so that they don't end up having these unpleasant interactions in the street with random strangers. And yes, I do appreciate that it might be a challenging situation for people who are socially anxious or whatever, but surely that's all the more reason for them to have a strategy for shutting down the conversation with minimal aggro.

If you say something like: "That sounds like a good cause and I wish you the best of luck with it, but I already have chosen charities which I prefer to support, and I will be directing any spare money I might have towards those. Plus in any case, I have an absolute rule that I will never sign up for anything in the street under any circumstances, so I am not going to waste any more of your time today, thank you", then 99% of the time, they will leave you alone and move on to the next person.

I hate chuggers and people who knock on doors to sign me up. I refuse on principle, as the last thing I want to do is encourage charities to employ even more of these people.

There was a really aggressive one outside Tesco in Richmond when we stayed there last year, genuinely made me not want to visit the shop again. I’ve also had the “you look like a kind person” opening gambit.

Too many don’t take a polite “no thanks” for an answer, when that’s all that should be needed to leave me the fuck alone.

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack

I think it's okay to be rude back if they are rude first. Otherwise, I generally agree that someone should try to be polite, but if their behaviour gets out of line, politeness can be dropped.

They're not enslaved, they can choose not to do that job. I would personally rather try and survive on benefits than work in a job which involves me trying to con vulnerable people into giving me their bank details for commission or harassing people. Sometimes the only way I've managed to get rid of them is when I've been rude or they literally won't leave you alone. I do blame the charities ultimately as they know what these people are doing but I certainly don't hold these people who do it as blameless

I get this all the time at London stations. I smile and walk straight past saying 'I'm not stopping'. They are a pain but they are also (mostly) kids trying to earn a living so I cut them some slack. .

One did once tell me I looked kind and I told them "Actually, I'm a total bitch'. Coming from a tiny pensioner it shocked him and made us both laugh.

I put my hand up in a 'stop' sign and say 'can I just stop you there. I'm not interested'. And then walk away. You don't owe them your time.

This doesn’t surprise me. I used to get hassled by chuggers everywhere, all the time, 15–20 years ago. It happens a lot less now I am 50. On the whole, I suspect young women feel less confident about shutting them down than those of us who have a lot more life experience, so they are seen as easy targets.

I can categorically say I've never worn a low top and high heels. I'm more of a chunky dm boot and jeans/t-shirt sort.
Wrt good looking men: London. When I was younger and at university there, good looking men were plentiful 😁

Like I say, I don't agree with the practice, but I blame the charities which employ people to do it, rather than the people who may be doing the jobs because they can't find anything else. I would be happy for it to be banned, and I'm happy for any chuggers who are behaving inappropriately to be reported to their employers and/or the police as appropriate.

I just think that there is generally no need to be rude to people who are probably doing a shitty job that they hate because they need the money.

A suggestion for anyone who receives unprovoked rudeness/insults/verbal abuse from a chugger:

Pretend to cry. Be as loud as you can. Say through your sobs that you don't deserve to be spoken to like that. Make a big show for as long as you can; hopefully the chugger will be embarrassed by the scene and it will mean they will avoid being rude in future.

Sometimes it's not though. Just like the double glazing salesman I just sent packing after he ignored my polite "I don't do any business at the door" who got a very brusque "No. Goodbye." and the door shut in his face.