To be sad that I’ve never been proposed to?

haha this is kind of what happened to me! we've been married 25 years!

I’ve had two proposals and both men then called it off , one was when pregnant, so they’ve created major extra trauma for me. They were nice moments to have the nice ring and everyone makes a fuss but what looks good meant nothing in my cases.

I get feeling sad about this but it’s also in the bucket of things we most likely can’t change so it’s not worth dwelling on them too much.
You could rationalise this by putting yourself in the shoes of a man. Most men don’t get proposed to, they do the proposing. I’ve never heard of a man feeling sad because no one had asked them to marry him?

I wonder how many people, especially in the past when marriage and children was just a given, actually never had anyone really love them though? They just got married just because that's what you do. Maybe the sort of romantic movie, all consuming love is actually quite rare?

Me too, although we did get married and are still happily together 25+ years later. But he completely caught me on the hop and I was “WTF we haven’t even discussed this”. It was his clumsy way of starting the discussion and I think he felt that that was the proper way. I think it’s fine if you have already agreed to get married and want that tradition (I most certainly did not and would not should I ever be single again) but surprise proposals are a really bad idea and put one person on the spot (usually the woman in male-female relationships). Thank goodness we were at home not in public. Anyway, I said I’d have to think about it and we did think about it and discuss it for a few months then told everyone and started planning.

I totally get the feeling of wanting to know that someone wants to be with you for the rest of their life, but that is very different from wanting to be proposed to.

@Macaroni46 there's still time. Not instagram worthy, nothing to post on social media as such but when my now dh proposed to me it was a complete shock so much so that I was completely lost for words, I hadn't even considered it. I do know how you feel because my first marriage was the same as yours,married because we had to due to a child. Nothing compares though to knowing that my now dh wants me just for me, no ulterior motive, no outside forces saying we have to. Just the pure honest truth that we both choose to be with each other.

You have been spared the possibility of saying no, which would be heartbreaking to the man who proposed to you, and you probably would find very difficult.

Your worth is not measured by some man "wanting " you!
I have been proposed to quite a few times, did I marry them? No. Would they have been suitable long term partners? No.
Better to be content with yourself and your life, than tied to someone who is less than what you want/need.
I would say"work on yourself " but I don't even know what that means. Forget about a proposal, it can mean nothing. It's just words. It's not someone's words it's their actions that count.

@Macaroni46 I feel the same OP. I am married but it’s over. He says he doesn’t believe in marriage, just agreed to it as it was something I wanted (I wouldn’t have continued the relationship, bought a house with him, or had children with him had we not got married and so for these reasons he agreed but says I forced him into it). How romantic.

I’ve never been proposed to or married . No one ever loved me enough .
I understand how pathetic that might sound to some.. , but that’s normally because they’ve already had that !

OP you’re not a failure !
I was in a LTR, thought we would be getting married , he had different thoughts & started seeing one of his work colleagues behind my back for a year , left me for her .
I then met my now Ex husband 2 years after & we’re separated 10 year’s, 11 this October.
I’ve dated over the years but still not found my person, just unlucky in love I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Definitely don’t consider myself a failure & neither are you .
Chin up , you’d never know who we may meet 🤞 ☺️

I told my long term partner that we should get married next decade because it’s cheaper and less hassle than sorting out wills and power of attorneys before we get old enough to potentially cark it. I wonder if he thinks my proposal was unromantic?

I've been happily married for over 40 years but I didn't get a huge romantic proposal. We decided on the way back to the bus station after DH had been visiting me that we should get married and that was that. We are very pragmatic people.

I get it OP. My mum had a very long-term relationship with no proposal, no prospect of marriage, which she would have loved. After her partner passed away, she was woo-ed by a new man who then proposed to her. They were in their late 70s - and giddy as teenagers. You never know OP!

I’ve never been proposed to either. It is never actually crossed my mind to be disappointed about it. I don’t measure my worth in that way.

Only if you’ve time-travelled from the distant past or like pretending you’re an Ickle Pwincess with no agency. 🙄

No, YANBU. This is something that you want. Everyone has wants and needs in life, and it's OK to have them. I am sorry you're feeling this way - I'm even more sorry at the lack of compassion I am seeing from some people on here. People will find an argument in their own shadow, these days.

Put yourself out there, OP. Use a dating app! You could find one for your age group, or get a toy-boy 😜...maybe even a sugar daddy!? 🤪 Find one of those apps where they wear their heart on their sleeve, in their profile. You never know! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

How many men have you proposed to, not because they're not what you need but because they fit in to some other ideal? If you haven't, does that mean you are as entitled as those men who you think do the same?

Don't give it any brain space. You could have had a handful of proposals which, at the time, made you think they wanted to be with you - only to have the relationships break down anyway. Onward and upward, summer's coming, get out and about and meet new people.

Macaroni, will you marry me?

Ffs