To think a lot of people don't understand what a depression or anxiety disorder are?

Wow are people really holding up Russia and Ukraine as examples of national good mental health practice? Why not throw in North Korea and Myanmar while you're at it?

OP I'm sorry you are struggling now. Fwiw lots of us have experienced dark times or are close to someone who has, and can empathize. There's a lot of it about! Not everyone is an uncaring compassionless dullard.

Do you have support? Is there anything that you've found useful? That quietens the static?

I guess your standard adult doesn't know the ins and outs of clinical depression and thats OK. We cant all be experts in psychiatry. Just like I dont know anything about plumbing beyond turning off the stopcock.

You can't expect people you meet day to day to have an in depth understanding of your specific mental health problems or any other disability so people will make ignorant comments or suggestions. Thats OK, just ignore them and focus on ensuring your close support network understand your needs to the best of their ability.

I don't think that anyone who doesn't have depression and/or anxiety will ever understand it properly. I've heard frustrated family members saying that things like anxiety don't exist, and that "people came back from the war with less" (mmm... OK, then, is that why a relative would drink himself silly so that he could sleep through the night without waking up screaming?). Apparently, because everyone else can manage, so should I. Even a very well-respected and senior management at my workplace thinks that a few weeks on anti-depressants fixes everything, and then you don't have to take them anymore. If only!

I have anxiety and it's awful, because it is not something that I can control or get rid of. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I do try to think, "I know that I can't control these things, but I still worry about them", but there are days when it is overpowering and I just about manage to function enough to get to the end of the working day without at least vomiting.

Agreed. And can we add to this phobias which are under the umbrella of anxiety disorders. Sick of people thinking it’s funny to try to force you face images of your phobia because “everybody is scared of something.”

Some of the responses here clearly show that no a lot of people really don't get it.

I have both depression and anxiety.
Yes I 'just get on with it' because I'm a parent and I have a job so I have no choice but to get on with it.
It doesn't take away that deep dark hole inside, or stop the dread, sickness, nausea and dizziness from the anxiety and having to push through when all you want to do is disappear.
It isn't caused by things we do or don't do. It is literally chemical imbalances in the brain, it is an actual illness as real as a broken bone.
Anyone who suffers every day would agree if we could just snap out of it and be happy we would break our necks running to do so.

Maybe they just commit suicide instead. Hence Russia having a suicide rate amongst the highest in the world.

Or maybe they actually do claim benefits, as Russia has a welfare system.

@TY78910

I’m not referring to people who have such or such diagnosis. I’m referring to people who use that diagnosis to live off others (be it taxpayers or family).
States publish statistics about numbers of people on sickness / disability benefits, NEETs etc.

Yes, it isn't helped by the go-to referral to 'talking therapies'. As if CBT (changing the way you think about things) could be helpful to someone with, for eg, psychosis.

No, they just kill themselves instead.

The second part of your post is a wild statement. How do you know that exactly?

How on earth do you know how many people in those countries are living with these conditions ?

stupid thing to say

@darkuncertainplace who are the people that you're discussing it with?

As someone who was in treatment for A&D for years, it's best not to discuss it with anyone

I would say at one point, my anxiety became anxiety disorder but it's not a discussion I had with anyone except my parents.

I really think we talk about this stuff far too much these days (as a society) and it leads to a weird situation where people think they know about it when they might actually have zero experience and just watched something on YouTube.

Talking about it leads to a whole host of voices who have a mild non-disorder based illness and then people who are seriously ill get lumped in with those people.

, I preferred it when I was first diagnosed and it was totally hush-hush and not something you would ever tell people. It was a bit weird being so scared that work might find out but frankly, it seems better than what we've got now.

I feel like you're saying people who have no knowledge of the disorders have a lot of opinions - they probably do but why does the conversation come up?

Anyway, I wish you all the best OP. I am kind of proof that it's not necessarily just an awful dark tunnel. I admit I'm pretty negative on here but I'm quite normal in real life 😂

@NoSoupForU yes people in Russia absolutely do that. But what they don’t do is attempt to live off others (taxpayers or family) at the same rate that people in the UK do. So they manage to not be disabled enough by it to instead earn their own living.

Dare I say it but a little bit of empathy goes both ways. Taking the analogy used above, you've been on crutches with a chronic condition your whole life and you see someone struggling with crutches for the first time. Do you roll your eyes and think oh big deal boo hoo, or do you reassure them that you know truly know how they feel, and you know they will get better soon. You envy them of course but in their moment of despair you know they need to hear this, and you hope they understand going forward that what they experienced was only a snapshot of what you experience all your life.

But what do you need them to get is it, i dont mean specifically the op, but is it so they'll understand something you are telling them, to get out of something, an excuse for behaviour, a general discussion topic

I had extreme CPTSD and I experienced a lot of what you have described but there was a root cause, there was a path through and it involved taking responsibility and making significant changes both internally and externally in my life so I’ve definitely had an experience of a major depressive and anxiety condition and while I know it can feel hopeless and extremely gruelling but there are treatments out there.

Each person is different.

For me, just gritting my teeth and getting on with it plays a huge part in managing my depressions. Deciding one day to just keep pushing through severe anxiety is the reason I’m no longer a situational mute.

Of course it’s difficult. It can feel impossible and overwhelming, but (for me) just getting on with it is part of treatment and recovery.

I had clinical depression for 10 years in my late 20s early 30s. The number one thing that helped me was getting up and going to work each day. If I was ever at home during the day alone I would get non stop panic attacks. Medication certainly helped, but so did a ‘fake it til I make it’ pretend to be normal attitude, even if on the days where I was so catatonically despairing I struggled to talk to colleagues all.

When I see young people signed off work for ‘depression’ I think it’s horrendous. It’s the worst possible thing that could be done. It just allows their despair to fester and grow. How on earth do you claw your way out of that? Daycare is needed for these people, not letting them stew at home in their own misery.

I’m even off the medication now. It’s a long road, but you’re not going to get there if you’re signed off sick.

I'd go so far as to say that most people don't 'get' what most chronic health conditions are in reality.

Most people have experienced them, sure as normal reactive emotions to triggers.

Most people haven't experienced them as disorders, which are not a spectrum and are diagnosed when a criteria threshold is met.

Nobody ever says there's a spectrum of broken legs do they? Or a spectrum of type 2 diabetes.

I have bipolar and PTSD. Depressive episodes for me are a crushing pressure inside that stops my brain and body from working. I find it helpful to view it as having neurotransmitters in brain that don’t function well and need medication help. I know that’s a simplification.

I agree people don’t know what’s it’s like but I find that’s true of most things. My Mum was psychotic in the 80s and observing how she was treated by family, friends and medical people is part of my cPTSD. It’s a lot safer to have a Serious Mental Illness now compared to then., But I agree with op that it’s not easy in a way that is indescribable. And people don’t admit to having them - me included -so it’/s very lonely too.

My biggest complaint is that there is plenty of treatment for people in our situation but unless someone’s a risk to themselves or others, they get left. A small increase in my meds brought me straight out of a moderate depressive episode.,but it took 6 months to be agreed and action thanks to admin issues and staff changes. I got to the point of feeling I couldn’t go on living like this every day but didn’t meet the crisis team criteria as I wasn’t deemed an actual risk to myself. My DH has to call up tell them he felt it was neglect for them to take action. I fear for my future. I do everything on my care plan and am back living an active life now I’m more well but nothing could fix what was going wrong inside other than medication.

But that’s the point, you had them but were able to grit your teeth, hide and get through them. And turn up at school the next day. Now, it becomes a whole drama, everyone knows, lots of discussions with teachers and counsellors etc, lots of ‘mitigation plans’, and lots of kids who don’t turn up for school and it’s perfectly acceptable because ‘anxiety’.

Some people absolutely do have a clinical, debilitating condition. But these are the minority. Many do not, and had they lived in a different era or different country would find a way to grit their teeth and crack on.

I agree with you whole heartedly!
I have suffered with anxiety for years, both triggered by situations, or just creeping up on me in the day or night, palpitations etc. people don’t get it! Depression has been more of a reactive type for me, this last bought has been 6 years though … it’s draining and debilitating
I also had another disorder, it’s called psoriatic arthritis,84 really should’ve called psoriatic disease as it affects so much more than joints, muscles, tendons, organs, skin, eyes … the most goes on! I get people trying to be nice, oh have you tried an anti inflammatory diet that really helps everyone I know who has arthritis. Oh I get really bad arthritis in my thumb / knee .. it’s very much the same as the mental issues, just take an ibuprofen you’ll be fine 🙄 …have you tried putting warm fleece on your joints, why is it now in your elbow and shoulder, last week it was your knee and ankle… it can’t just jump around from one joint to another that’s not how arthritis works … well it’s how PsA works
ifeel for you and have that smiley nodding head on repeat and ignore, or if it’s someone who I don’t have time for I’ll give them a bit of a biology lesson and tell them they have no idea.
im taking ill health retirement which for me is the best thing as I need to be able to help my body which helps the mental health somewhat too

That's such a moronic thing to say. People in Russia absolutely suffer from mental health conditions in the same way British people do. They just don't have a comparable system for reporting it or for receiving a diagnosis and treatment. But studies certainly indicate a high level of depression.