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AIBU?

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AIBU to be fed up with him always eating my food?

331 replies

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 20:48

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

OP posts:
Starlight1979 · 31/03/2026 08:58

JumpinJehoshaphat · 30/03/2026 21:57

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap.

i would end the relationship on the basis of this alone. 12 weeks in and you’re having a conversation about buying a Yorkshire pudding wrap (whatever that is). Too dull and depressing for words.

This 💯

Girlwithavibe · 31/03/2026 08:58

Lol 🤣 sorry I shouldn't laugh !!
But I actually do this to my DH I have lost 3 stone and in an attempt to tell myself I'm being good ill just have a tiny bit of his and because he is so generous by nature he always gives me half !!!
Well this week he said btw u best get and Easter egg because your not having mine hehehejehe so I did buy one ! I actually didn't realise I'd been so annoying because he is so generous (been together 30 years bless him )
It could be his way of portion control half of yours is not his own whole one but not good if your paying every single time thou that's being a cheap stake !
Maybe it could work if u have an honest chat about it or maybe not best to talk it throu and explain how annoying it is x

ILoveDaffodills · 31/03/2026 08:58

Caniweartheseones · 31/03/2026 08:01

Off the topic but can’t see the draw of labradors. Very boring fat smelly dogs with very little personality. And a man like a Labrador (boak 🤢)

They're not all fat, they're not all smelly & they're not all food obsessed & they can be as full of personality as any other dogs.

if would be like reading your post & saying all human are rude & ignorant.

tachetastic · 31/03/2026 08:55

You are not being unreasonable at all, but rather than bin him, just tell him that between you you can afford one each and you’d rather do that. After a couple of times he’ll get the message that he either buys his own or goes without. It doesn’t need to be a falling out.

This used to be a “joke” between my own parents. My dad would often (not always) say he would go without and just have “a bit” of my mum’s and her response would be “no you bloody won’t”. They managed over fifty years of marriage.

Starlight1979 · 31/03/2026 08:50

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 22:48

He’s just messaged me asking if I’m still wanting to go to York - because if so he’s going to study the menu to see if they do small portions. I’ve replied saying to do what he needs to do but I don’t want to hear about it as it’s not important to me. Yeah I think I’ve got the ick

He wants to go to York just to get a Yorkshire pudding wrap?!?!

That's a bit odd in itself....

ILoveDaffodills · 31/03/2026 08:48

Tillow4ever · 31/03/2026 04:09

I don’t know. I used to have the roast beef ones at a chain pub 20+ years ago now (they stopped doing them when I was pregnant with my eldest who will be 21 in 3 months). Then at a festival I went to a few years ago, they had a stall doing pork ones which were amazing.

But I haven’t been to York and had ones like the op was talking about, so I don’t know if anyone does other combos. I presume you could have meat-free…. I just don’t know if they do an alternative to go inside.

I've been to York but never seen them.

im not supposed to eat YP due to a health issue. So I tend just to have a couple at Christmas & maybe once during the year where ill have them filled with mushy peas 🤣

probably just as well I didn't see them when I was in York! 🤣

Villanousvillans · 31/03/2026 08:39

I had a boyfriend who used to say we’ll get one portion and share. No we won’t, I’ll choose what I’m having and you can keep your hands off it.

Deal breaker.

patooties · 31/03/2026 08:38

Is he stingey in other ways?

DierdreDaphne · 31/03/2026 08:38

BettyBoh · 30/03/2026 21:53

I think he may have some eating issues. If he just has a bit of your’s he can justify it to himself by exaggerating that he didn’t have any (because he didn’t buy) whilst having half.

Exactly this

Purplerainblue · 31/03/2026 08:37

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 23:11

He replied saying “it’s not important to me either 😂” so I said “stop going on about it then, I don’t want to obsess over food all the time. I’ll get what I want, you get what you want but I don’t need to hear about it”

They always push to far and then it’s hard to recover from 🤣 now is your time to either stop seeing him or everytime you do refuse to share. I wouldn’t want to share my food either infact everytime me an my ex ordered from anywhere we’d get two meals

FuckaboutFindout · 31/03/2026 08:36

Essentially hes the food equivalent of a dry drunk
He hasnt tackled the underlying reasons for his eating disorder
Usually emotional immaturity/ trauma/ use of food to control etc

This is not going to get any better
At 12 weeks in he is already making unpleasant ( boundary crossing) remarks about what you eat, its manipulative,controlling and hes trying to project his issues onto to you .
Throw this one back

MaidOfSteel · 31/03/2026 08:36

Do you go all the way to Cornwall for a pasty, too? Sorry, couldn’t resist!

He’s tight. That seems about the long & short of it. What a turn off.

NotMrPerfectAfterAll · 31/03/2026 08:32

Why are you with such a massive twat?.

AngelinaFibres · 31/03/2026 08:30

DickieAnderson · 31/03/2026 00:50

But we don’t know where OP lives, her bf could be planning this trip just to get a wrap and they might live in London or the Scottish highlands 😂.

Can you give us a rough idea OP or at least let us know how far he wants you to travel?

I did once plan a visit to a great Mexican restaurant in Edinburgh that I’d been to a few times on other trips, we were going for a short break anyway though and not travelling over 100 miles just to have a meal!

She lives near York. It's in the posts.

SkinnyLatteExtraHotPlease · 31/03/2026 08:28

Joey don't share food 😂 IYKYK

Candlebook · 31/03/2026 08:27

I’d definitely be concerned with his comments about you putting on weight. My ex-bf (who I have referenced on MN before as he was a prick in many ways) had issues with food, which was nothing to do with any weight problems he’d ever had but I suspect something to do with past trauma of both his parents suffering with depression (but that’s a whole other story). Anyway, he would eat like a sparrow and lecture me about weight when I would be eating a completely normal portion of food. I was a size 6. He became very controlling and coercive further down the line so the early behaviour about food was a red flag, looking back.

Hoolieghoul · 31/03/2026 08:26

Greedy tight arse. See how he reacts to you explicitly refusing to share. If he's fine about it and stops constantly asking for yours then he's maybe worth a chance. If he keeps asking to share or gets huffy, throw him back.

Saladbrains · 31/03/2026 08:23

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 20:48

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

This whole post/thread could so easily be a reverse.
Far more women behave like this OP’s soon-to-be-ex does

TroysMammy · 31/03/2026 08:17

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 22:21

Yeah he disguises it as “concern” 🙄

“oh you don’t want to end up how I was, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone”

Well I won’t will I, because I wouldn’t let myself get to 30 stone before I realised I had a problem 🙄

And you're never going to put on weight because some greedy cheeky sod is eating half of your food either.

AngelinaFibres · 31/03/2026 08:15

My SIL (80) has always had issues around food that's allowed / food that isn't. She'll order and pay for a salad but she can't order chips because they are a ' bad thing' . But she wants to eat chips so she'll say " I'll just order a salad and I'll share your chips". No you won't ( especially as she doesn't like vinegar and will expect me to avoid it so she can eat my chips).

BlackCat14 · 31/03/2026 08:15

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 22:48

He’s just messaged me asking if I’m still wanting to go to York - because if so he’s going to study the menu to see if they do small portions. I’ve replied saying to do what he needs to do but I don’t want to hear about it as it’s not important to me. Yeah I think I’ve got the ick

Oh god no I couldn’t deal with this. He’s just obsessed isn’t he? I love how you’re letting him know how you feel and not just letting this annoying behaviour slip. Not surprised you’ve got the ick- are you going to end it?

nonmerci99 · 31/03/2026 08:14

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 23:11

He replied saying “it’s not important to me either 😂” so I said “stop going on about it then, I don’t want to obsess over food all the time. I’ll get what I want, you get what you want but I don’t need to hear about it”

He sounds like my mother 😩 I couldn’t bear to be with a man like this!

Myneighbourisanosyoldgit · 31/03/2026 08:07

Why are you with him? Shut the door behind you Joe👋

Safxxx · 31/03/2026 08:06

You've been too patient...after a couple of times I would've said, you buy it and eat what you can I'll have the rest...if what he leaves you is a tiny bit...then tell him well you might aswell finish it now...I'll get my own 😂 stop entertaining him

Caniweartheseones · 31/03/2026 08:01

DeltaVariant · 30/03/2026 21:54

At least labradors are cute and it’s known they’re greedy little things. I’d take the Labrador over a tight man 🙄

Off the topic but can’t see the draw of labradors. Very boring fat smelly dogs with very little personality. And a man like a Labrador (boak 🤢)

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