Vet advice… AIBU about costs.

I think it’s time to gently let her go. She’s had a lovely life, but she’s deteriorating now, and possibly feeling miserable with life.

Sometimes, we have to know when to let them go. 🌺

Gorgeous girl!!! You are absolutely doing the best for her right now and all the emotions and caring and love you are pouring into this stage of your time together. She will let you know when it’s been too much for her. And you will recognise the changes. Take it day by day and make the most of every minute with her.

She is a beautiful girl and you are both so lucky to have eachother

I had a very similar issue last year with our beloved cat Polly. I knew there was something wrong with her, although day to day, she was a happy, contented and loving cat. After blood tests (£430) it turned out she was VERY hyperthyroid. The medication (£48 for about 10 days) made her ill. We made the decision to stop the treatment and I rang the vet and just told him. We ensured that Poll had a happy few months and when she had her first bad day, we arranged for another vet to come out to the house to put her to sleep. £340 but worth it. Make your dog's life as good as you can, and as soon as you think she's not enjoying life, spend the money on a dignified, managed end to a happy life. At least we can do that for animals.

For some reason I expected this to be about a rottie! I am an avid golden fan. I tend to own a pair and am on my second and third atm.

You will know when it’s time. With my first, I knew if he went off his food that would be it. And one day he was a bit sicky, and the next day the same again, so I took him to the vets. I had a horrible sinking feeling about it and took him for a nice walk first. He was a bit anaemic and they said probably worth sedation and an ultrasound which was only a few under quid. We talked about if it was a tumour and whether it might be cancerous and I said virtually immediately no surgery given his age. They did find a tumour off some sort on his pancreas, and I let him go whilst he was under sedation. It is not how I ever would have planned it, but he was a good boy at the vets and had cheerily trotted off with them after I said ‘see you in a bit, mate’. It was the kind of tumour that could rupture with no warning and it would have been a horrible way to go. It would have been for me that I wanted to say goodbye, not for him.

I had him since I was 16 and he was my very best friend. Saw me through an awful court case, many miscarriages, heartbreak and my brother dying, as well being there for the good bits like when I qualified, got married and had my only child.

Goldens are so special. I can tell from what you write that you have a strong bond. I found it helpful to set parameters of when I would know in case emotions got in the way, but I really do think that you will know.

I adore my dog too. He is 9 and has glaucoma and has done amazingly well to still have both eyes 3yrs on from diagnosis and I wouldn’t be doing any expensive tests like that at 11. I’d be thinking about quality of life now, and assessing that on a daily basis. So hard.

It really is hard when things can be so up and down, but treat every day as a bonus, and you’ll know when the balance has tipped.❤️

I hope you both had a good night sleep OP. One thing I remember from on of my mum’s really old and very big dog was that, at one point he couldn’t really move and the vet advised to help move him a bit every now and then on the bed when he was resting because he would become uncomfortable after lying down in exactly the same spot for hours. So this is something you could keep an eye on for your girl.
It’s not easy.

One of the things my Dad, as a vet, used to say is that most owners left it 3 to 6 months too long to make an inevitable decision about end of life for pets. They try and prolong life to put off their loss. Always from a position of love and the best intentions, but always just a bit too long.
We had a lovely family dog who got cancer PTS very peacefully at home in his own basket surrounded by familiar smells and sounds. It cost a bit more because it was a home visit, but it avoided the trip to the surgery and the antiseptic smells and unfamiliar noises. Or the trip home for us afterwards.
I would do that again in the same situation, if the option was available.

We spent a decent chunk (partially insured) on our 14yo cat who very much wanted to live (she was such a lively, vibrant girl), but to be honest, the best money we spent in the last month of her life was on endless, fresh-cooked chicken.

Our boy is 17 soon, and we're treating his symptoms with expensive diet food, supplements, and love (he's regained the weight he was losing). I absolutely don't want to go through what we went through with his sister.

I have a friend who was in a similar situation- much loved older dog, who had on off illness, but did have insurance and did all the treatment.She told me she very much regretted it. She had him in at the vet hospital with all the meds, the operation for cancer, everything The poor thing still suffered a lot and still died within a few months.
Its the hardest of choices- but with animals it’s often said it’s ’better a week too early than a day too late.’

she said she was unable to say as it was not within her knowledge base. It’s specialist referral stuff.

That makes me really cross. Because an old dog is within her knowledge base.

Personally I would get a second opinion, you can treat without diagnosis.

Like a lot of dog owners on this thread I would say better a week too early than a day too late. It’s hard when they seem generally content but remember that they don’t have any concept of death and they rely on us to make the best decisions for their welfare in the end.

Regardless of the cost I am not in favour of long drawn out treatment for elderly pets. They have a natural lifespan.

I’m so sorry. You know where you are and if you need to hear that it’s ok to let go - it’s ok it’s time. Part of loving them is making the hard choices when they are too unwell to go on. Having recently been through this myself I can honestly say it’s the hardest decision I’ve ever made but also the kindest.

Help please. Am I giving up on man’s best friend? AIBU to think the vet has done a total u-turn on appropriate treatment options?

I am really sorry you are in this situation, but I think you are being unreasonable to think the vet has done a U-turn on treatment options. The dog's old, the vet isn't sure what's wrong with her. There are several options to pursue, and the vet isn't sure which is most likely. They've given you the options of different tests which might identify the cause, that cost different amounts. There's no U-turn there. It's what many people go through when waiting for a diagnosis from symptoms that are quite wide ranging.

I agree to some respect regarding interventions, but this is not the same as saying vets are told not to offer euthanasia.

They are taught the "gold standard"...at university and so they should for full knowledge. Advanced care is now more readily available..referral centres, in practice CT scanners, many vets doing post graduate qualifications, dedicated night staff etc etc.

We want what is the "best" for our patients and that is not always gold standard...(a term I really hate) as it implies silver or bronze options are not also good and appropriate.

I would counter for every client who thinks the vet is doing the hard sell..there will be a client who says "I wasn't offered tests" "I was fobbed off" "they didn't even do an x-ray when the joint was wobbly after cruciate surgery". It sometimes feels like we can't do right for doing wrong 💔

Vets study science, but it's an art to communicate effectively. I would encourage owners to have honest conversations about their wishes, finances and attitudes to interventions. Give the vets a chance to work with you rather than assuming what they suggest is down to greed.

If silver or bronze approach is taken, the costs, risks and outcomes (like with gold standard) should be discussed as they will be different.

Well done for communicating your wishes to your vet and being comfortable with a more conservative wait and see approach.

I wish more people would speak up than assume the worse of their vet

Your vet was probably concerned that the surgical outcome of a procedure (they were responsible for) wasn't ideal - not a nice feeling at all! they probably wanted to check for other other issues...I know this is what I would feel rather thinking "kerr -ching!"

Glad your cat is well :)

Ask the vet for Metacam, its a total game changer. And don't forget paracetamol, which is very effective for dogs and cheap!

Many vets are massively over interventionist. I have many times been told by a vet what they suggest for my pet, then when I ask for a less invasive option to try first I’m given one, and it’s always cheaper. A vet wanted to X-ray my cat after cruciate ligament surgery as there was more movement than he wanted to see at two months in. I asked if this was free follow up to the operation. It was not. I asked what would be the outcome of the X-ray, would he redo the surgery. He said no, another month of rest. I said why not just do another month of rest then. Cat was fine. X-ray absolutely unnecessary. A bit of push back saved me hundreds of pounds. This is how many vets (organisations) operate nowadays.

What would be probable treatment and outcome from the possible tests? If costly invasive treatment leading to not a great deal of quality or length of life then what's the point? Why know if knowing creates steps that are unpalatable or undoable anyway?
It's so very hard and you have my sympathies but quiet a few people I know wish they'd gone sooner rather than later......

This is absolutely untrue.

UK Vets would never ever be told they can't suggest PTS. That would be completely unethical and probably breaking animal welfare laws. At graduation vets swear to "protect the welfare of animals under their care"

It is not the general rule that vets "are obliged to push for tests"....I know some people feel they are being pushed.. but in reality good vets should discuss all the options available..from euthanasia to advanced tertiary referral.

A good vet should also guide the client with recommended actions appropriate for the pet, the client and the contexts. Vets are educated to make these recommendations and it's not fair to just lay the options out and say "you choose"

With respect to no treatment without a diagnosis...it depends on the treatment being considered. You wouldn't start a course of specific chemotherapy, risking serious side effects without a solid diagnosis.

Some Anti-seizure medications might be reasonable with good client discussions first.