AIBU to expect DH to replace my ruined jumper(s)

And that’s great for you. 👏 but lots can’t, so what’s your point.

I know several women who wouldn't have a clue either and wouldn't think to check.

https://youtube.com/shorts/xHSxAlQA9B4?si=9nfUeaWM-eooa_uv

That's not what I meant -- I certainly can tell what is knitted/a jumper with almost zero effort, and generally anything of that nature shouldn't be washed on a high heat or subjected full spin. Works fine for me.

Can I make a suggestion? We have two washing baskets - one normal laundry and one delicates. You need the same system. It’s too easy to make a mistake just putting it all in together. If he still managed to screw up then I would be expecting him to replace the jumpers.

The astonishingly few items I have that go into a normal wash but not the tumble dryer also go into the delicates wash pile. I will add them into a normal wash if appropriate but because I consciously add them in I remember to lift them out after the wash.

I wouldn’t expect anyone to else doing a normal load to identify these items or accommodate this.

Then prior to putting on a load, the items are removed and sorted according to colour/fabric type/what temperature. Every item passes through my hands and is given a mental check as to how best to wash it

Oh Jesus Christ who on earth has time to do this?!?!

@PILinOz Since I’m not sure if you’ve seen people mention it, you’re likely washing your cashmere too much. It’s typically recommended to wash it every 8 wears or so.

I have a large array of cashmere that I live in all winter long and do my own laundry and I still keep it separate. If I didn’t I’m sure I’d accidentally have put one through with regular stuff by now. But then I’ve never heard of sorting through a mass of dirty laundry either.

I can match this. My husband does all the laundry, always has.
He's shrunk three Cashmere jumpers and last week turned my new posh knickers grey ( from pink).
I've waited years to wear those knickers ( I was very fat) and he shoved them on acrylic with sweaty black sportswear.
He knows he's in my bad books.
I don't let him near my wired bras nor does the DD.

Well this would only be equivalent if he was storing his guitars in the shower and OP forgot to take them out before her shower.

I truly do not believe you can tell what’s polyester/wool/cotton/cashmere from the split second as it passes through your hands (with a fistful of other clothes in my experience) into the washing machine. Unless you know the green jumper is a cashmere one, and then you spot the green jumper. But it’s entirely unreasonable to expect another human to take on the mental load of remembering what your clothes are made of.

I’d get replacements and whatever of his that needed to be cut back on to fund it then so be it. No nice wine or golf for him for a few weeks etc. Hitting his pocket.

So then why didn’t you go and get them out. Instead of asking him to root through it. That’s what I’d have done. This was clearly an error, but also on your part.

Put your precious items to one side and wash them by hand yourself?

Sometimes wool items can be saved. Your DH should be spending his time looking up ways to rectify the damage to the jumpers if possible!!

😂😂😂

Might say that my DP has never ruined any of my cashmere jumpers because he ruined the one I gave him before we moved in together and so I've always ensured they are not put into something he will take things out of to wash! However moths have ruined a fair few. 2nd hand cashmere absolutely needs to go in the freezer.

I think it’s setting him up for failure to keep putting cashmere in with the general laundry, and hoping he’ll notice in time. I wouldn’t put my own delicate jumpers in the laundry basket, because the risk of me accidentally chucking them into the wash would be too high.

Fair enough. Not something I have ever felt the need to save a few seconds on, but I don't do masses of laundry for teenagers.

Everyone has different ways of doing things, as this thread makes clear, but the household needs to agree on that...

What do all the strict pre-sorters do for tumble drying if they have a drier? Surely it doesn't all go in there? 😱

It isn't actually very difficult or time-consuming to get cashemere on vinted. I know this because I do it myself. You just need to know now that you are "allowed" to buy another 4, and also that you can bump up your price ceiling to £30. This evening, sit down, pour a glass of something you like, put some nice music on, find some new ones, have some fun. You don't actually want him to do this for you. You want the ones that you've chosen.

And then (a) put them in the freezer as soon as they arrive because they may well host moth eggs (b) they only need washing about once a year or when you spill yoghurt down them (c) when they do need washing, yes put them in something different. You don't need a fancy new basket. I'd put them on the floor next to the basket, or you can just take them down and stick them straight into the washing up bowl for a quick hand wash.

OP you seem quite set on keeping things as they are but your DH not making the same mistake over and over. I really think you should consider that you could make a small change yourself (ie keeping your delicates separate) rather than continuing to buy expensive stuff and leave it where it routinely gets ruined.
Maybe your DH should be better, but honestly you know that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Yep, he knows and he doesnt give a shit.

Sounds like he just empties in the basket rather than sort things individually. Silly but I must confess I am guilty of that too (I have my own laundry basket). That is why I never put anything delicate in there.

It is not ideal but honestly it sounds like it would be better to put your jumpers in a different basket. You shouldn't have to but at the end of the day it has happened 4 times and you are the one losing money and jumpers.

The reality is there is no point in him going to TK Maxx as clearly he does not know his fabric and would probably end up wasting money on some man made fiber. Again will he even know what to look for on vinted. Personally I would either get him to buy that jumper for you or else that he gives you a set amount of money to cover both the jumper and your time.

Why would you put it in the laundry basket in the first place? It’s too easy to accidentally pick it up with other things and shove in the machine