Mothers of straight young men 25-35YO - what are your boys up to?

One of mine is at home with his lt gf. The other is working hard, then either seeing his gf, his mates or gaming because hes on yet another early shift. We live in a small town and all the women in his age group most of whom he went to school with, are settled or not his type(and vice versa). Its taken a long time to find someone. He didnt want to do tinder.

DH is 32, obviously married with DC, we own our home, he’s got a degree and masters and is currently doing an MBA. Drives a nice company car, earns well. They’re not all losers. My brother is 27 and also married with his own home.

DS is 27. First GF (met at uni) left him for his friend, they are still on good terms despite this.
Second GF (also uni) and he parted amicably as they were living at opposite ends of the country.
Third GF (dating app) dumped him, it was obvious they were growing apart but she wasn't very nice about it.

He does use OLD, and has had a few dates. One girl he really liked but she went back to her home country. In his experience plenty of the girls were only interested in ONS and no strings relationships, and he wants a GF.

He's currently enjoying being single and has a wide range of friends from both inside and outside work.

My ds is on the market. He would like to meet someone “old fashioned” - not a trad wife! - but someone who is intelligent, likes history/reading/culture, not political, friendly, kind… He says he’s given up!

My ds, slightly younger, but 20s, is worried about getting burned. Emotionally and financially. He isn’t looking for a relationship, having been previously hurt and also having seen a friend go through a major depressive episode after a breakup.

Yes, mine is almost 26 and lives with his GF who he’s been with since they were 18 and with whom he’s bought a house.

Ds25 engaged to a lovely woman he met at uni, bought a house last year and they seem settled and happy.

One is married, one is underwhelmed by the attitude of some women.
Unattached son (working, lives alone, nice looking) uses dating apps off and on but gets put off by some attitudes eg “I would never date a Tory”. He isn’t a Tory by a long stretch of the imagination but is put off by the rigidness of thinking.
He’s dated some nice enough women but enjoys being on his own and enjoys his lifestyle so it would need to be someone really special to make him want to change it. I keep hoping…….!

My relative (not DS) is nearly 30 and as far as I know has only just started a relationship not having one of note previously. I think it’s due to the fact he moved out of home a few months ago so was ‘free’ to pursue a relationship and be able to take someone back to his.
He’s a professional, but took a while to get his career up and running so his confidence was low and now it’s all falling in to place. He’s reasonably good looking, but quite shy and fussy too from what he’s said in the past.
My DS is 22 and never had a relationship- he’s got MH issues and I’m sure they impact on this. He’s shy w girls and finds dates a bit excruciating- he’s got female friends who he’s one fancied or they fancied him but it never progressed. I’m hoping he meets someone when he finishes uni.

DS 23 currently at home.post uni saving for a.flat. works in a very male dominated industry and long hours goes out couple times a week with friends to pub quiz or to watch footy. Never had girl friend at uni as his course was also male dominated and the only girl preferd girls too! I dispare about how / when he will meet a partner. Dd currently at uni in very steady relationship with lovely but quite lad, Im hoping it lasts as they seem very compatable. Tips for the 23 yr old though welcome

I remember being in my 20s and finding this was the case back then. Its actually hard to find someone you like who also wants the same things as you at the same time.
I found my person through a friend at a party. He was 10 years older as I gave up on the 'boys'. A lot of my friends just settled in the end actually. Not many people I know were whisked off their feet with a true romance.

Agree, similar story among my friends living in a city in the 00s. Most of my female friends didn’t meet their long term partners until their late 20s/early 30s, unless they were still with a partner from university.

I really hope none of them shared details about my sex life with their mum though!

I have a very close male single friend in that category. He has been on and off looking for love/wanting to start a family for the past couple of years and no luck himself either. He has met a few women on dating apps but no success, I don't know why, he's not shared the issues, he's a very private person. He spends most of his time at work, with family, doing domestic work and DIY, and with friends - his friendship group is a very old long established, essentially closed group of people he's mostly known for 1-2 decades.

All my other male straight friends and relatives in this age bracket (of which there are many due to me and DH also being in this age bracket) are in relationships, about 3/4s of these are married and about a quarter of them already have kids.

So great to read this post. People are perfectly happy being an individual these days. Being a couple isn’t seen as the be all and end all and the height if success.

Mine are much the same as yours Franken
Even down to the dog.
Knowing who they are and being happy with themselves is something to celebrate

Two age 22

One split up with his girlfriend recently because she moved herself into his Uni houseshare.
He said it was all too much and is happier single now.
Hes enjoying being himself rather than part of a couple

The others ex girlfriend has spent the last 9 months trolling him online and turning everyone at Uni against him.
He’s been through hell with it all and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he never dates again.

Other son age 25 has spent most of the last few years in the Antarctic as part of his work.
He’s happy as he is and prefers animals

Our boys aren’t big clubbers anymore. ( the eldest never was ).

Been there done that and realised it’s not that fun really.
They don’t use dating apps.
As sporty and musical people their social circles are around their interests and it makes sense I suppose to meet people they share an interest with.

Dating it seems is a bloody nightmare. Breaking up has always been hard but now people can chase you around the internet everyone needs to be very careful with future friendships.

My lot are cautious and I really don’t blame them.

My DS is 22 is working full time in a decent job, he has a lovely group of friends- they travel, go to the cinema, have meals out, pop in the train and visit new places etc etc. He was really hurt by someone a few years ago - and won’t entertain a relationship now. None of his mates have a partner apart from 1, (out of 15). He doesn’t drink loads, doesn’t do drugs etc - hes just a nice lad, who is quite shy, enjoys a bit of gaming, who wouldn’t do dating apps. He said to us the other night he would be happy in a flat with a dog!!

I have friends with lads who are the same, nice guys who have never had gf’s who are in their early to mid 20’s. I don’t think its as uncommon as it once was.

I am in this age range (although married with three children with a professional career). Nearly everybody I know, including me, met their husbands on dating apps. All of the husbands are high achieving professionals. The only people I know that didn’t met at university. My only brother that isn’t married also uses apps.

Dating apps require effort though, there is little point in spending weeks chatting before you meet somebody. I used to go on a couple of first dates a month although I was the first person my husband met using dating apps!

My son 26 yrs old came out of a 3 yr relationship, he ended it because she cheated on him and he realised they were not really happy or compatible many ways.
He doesn't feel ready to commit to a relationship but is on dating apps and makes it clear he is looking for casual contact.
What has happened though is the girl says she is looking for casual too but then she pressures for more commitment that he isn't able or doesnt want to give and it ends badly.
He says he is always honest about wanting casual contact.
Recently, he met a girl OLD,they chatted for a couple of weeks,went on a few dates and were intimate on a couple of occasions.
He noticed she had some extreme political views that didn't align with his own and she posted obsessively about her political opinions online and he said it suddenly thought this is not for me and stopped contacing her,she got very upset and kept badgering him for a reason for the "ghosting" .
He asked me how he should handle it. I suggested being truthful and explaining he didnt think they were compatible but wish her well.
She continued contacting him asking for an explanation as to why they weren't compatible. Eventually, he said he didn't think their political views aligned and that was a deal breaker for him. She posted his messages online and he was absolutely savaged .
Still saying he just wants casual fun and isnt short of it .
I just don't think he's ready for a relationship and feels theres no rush and doesnt want to make another mistake.

My nearly 25 yr old is career obsessed and having fun with his friends socialising.

not ready to settle down and wanted to become chartered as soon as he could which he has just achieved! Next step is buying a property and he will see where life takes him.

This or just not ready for commitment yet. If not ready for commitment, it doesn't in any way excuse ghosting or any other negative dishonest ways of acting by the blokes of course (which sadly we see too much of). I say this as someone who didnt want commitment myself until my mid 30s or so.

My 25 year old is happy seeing friends and having fun at the moment. He doesn’t want to “settle down” yet.

My son is 35. Married and 2 dc

This ^

and
I think your daughter and her friends need to just get on and live their life - pursue a career, have fun, travel, and if it's meant to be, it will be.

I have both ds and dd in that age bracket, and obviously know a lot of their friends, and also nieces and nephews, God children, and my own friends dc.
This is SUCH a strange opening post.

1 of my dc is married and the other two 'young free and single' and happy with where they are in life.
If any of them met new people who were talking about freezing their eggs and finding love and settling down in the first few weeks of meeting someone, all the decent young people I now in that age range would be running a mile too.

Mine met his partner at uni, living together, getting married.

DS and DIL, 31.and 32, married early at 28/29, expecting their first child. He's an academic, she has a PR job. They live abroad. She was a bestie of a girl one of DS's besties met.

DD and BF: 27 and 29. Knew each other as children and got on then. Picked up with each other when dd finished uni and rejoined their old choir. Both very musical and very nerdy.

So, in summary, through existing friends and circles, just as DH and I met. Same seems to apply to their friends although a few have met through friends. They are on the wedding go round at the moment.