Mothers of straight young men 25-35YO - what are your boys up to?

It Is a waste if you have (probably not very good) sex with a loser who ghosts you and has no respect for you.

It’s pretty sensible to not want that to be your first experience of sex. Can’t see the issue with that girl not wanting to have the same negative experience as her friends.

My 25 year old is in a relationship and has had a string of long term girlfriends (2 years +) since 14. His friends and younger sibling are nothing like that and happily single or only want short-term casual.

Genuine people on apps are rare ime.

My DS in this age group had his uni experience very disrupted by covid. First year was mostly online and he came home. Second year he lived in a shared flat with another bloke but socialising was extremely limited.

it was only third year that even vaguely approximated to a normal junior social experience.

Ds2 is 28. Works for a global brand in the City. Ambitious, funny, smart. Likes drinking and techno house music. Despairing of getting on the property ladder. Going to Mexico for the World Cup. Kind to cats

I kind of agree but also admire her not sleeping with absolute wasters.

I'm in my mid 50s but most of the women I know of my age with a long term partner, met them when they were 25 to 35. I do know some couples who have been together since university/university age but they are in the minority.

The men they're looking for aren't on dating apps.

Sounds a bit extreme to talk about but the freezing at 26. I think most people sense desperation when it’s there and run a mile

Mine (26) got a long term girlfriend, but he spends a lot of time at work and the gym. Currently living with us while he saves for a house.

Two adult DSs, work together with great careers, one 30, one early twenties. Eldest is a homeowner, married with a baby. DS2 lives here with his partner, both saving hard to buy their own home.
Both DS have been with their partners since they were at school. I know this must be unusual, but (at least amongst their friends) it seems that those who are decent don't mess their GFs around, take relationships seriously, and seem to be 'taken off the market' by their mid twenties.
Of course this is just my experience of a very small sample group, but it also applies to my generation too.

My boys are exactly the same type of people as the girls you mentioned @SleepRelay, I wish we could get them together.

They’re already in long term relationships / married in my experience. The most eligible ones tend to be snapped up young by other enterprising young people looking for a partner to build with.

My DS’s are in your category. Both married at 27. Both are buying property, eldest is a Dad. Eldest met his wife at uni during his first year. Youngest met his wife online, foreign national, but they were dating in real life for over 4 years before marrying so they could live permanently together. Both have professional jobs and both went to uni.

Thinking of my two brothers in that age group.

Both married. Both own their homes. Both have children. Both working. Both been with their now wives since the age 16

My Ds is in a stable happy relationship with a DP he met ‘in RL’ , which was his second relationship - so one from 16 -18, one 20 -25 and counting.

He had never shagged around.

He does his job (well) lives in a flat share (Gf works in the next city so they don’t live together at present but did for 2 years previously), he is in a band and does stuff with friends (including weekends away) as does she.

I can’t imagine they will be in a position to buy property or have Dc for at least 5 years.

(both high achieving graduates)

None of this sounds much different to when I was 20 something in London in the 90s to be honest. Very few of my friends met the person they went on to marry until they were in their 30s.

My DS are both single atm, both been in relationships but I am not sure they are looking for long term relationships. I feel they are at the find a female friend stage.

They missed out on big time socialising at uni due to covid and have missed the social connections that could have led to a wider pool of female friends.

They both go out and have outside interests, so I am sure that in time they will meet more potential interests. In their friendship group only 1 has a serious GF and they met at uni. None of them have had much luck with dating apps, they all prefer meeting people in person, which is a lot tougher as clubs have closed, people tend to be more homebodies and not everyone has the cash to go on night out.

I'm in this age bracket with a family already. We met through mutual friend, not the apps. I'm not convinced those apps lead to serious relationships very often.

To sell I hope!

I have 3 sons in this age bracket !
DS1 has been with his gf a while and they rent a house and live miles away from us now. they are young and just chasing promotions.
DS2 ( 25years) lives with us but buying his own property soon. Recently split with his on/ off gf but was with her off and on for a good 18 months. Single currently ( we think ! ). He split with his gf as just knew she wasn't the one long term and didn't want to string her along. Hobbies are mainly the gym and fitness. Nice lad if anyone had single dd's in the east midlands !
Ds3 ( 23 years) - still at Uni but with long term gf who he has been with since aged 16.
My dd21 has bene with her bf for a year but on/ off and always some drama. Bf seems a bit immature, not sure how long it will last.
I have a few close friends with ds's in this age range too and am quite surprised that none of their lads have gf's or have ever had gf's. Whilst having reasonable jobs they live at home and rarely go out , still go on holiday with parents etc. I do find this a bit odd. They are all lovely young people but just seem to have no inclination to find a partner although i appreciate I may not know the ins and outs of their lives but am close to their mums and we do discuss this kind of thing ! I think my friends are also concerned about their sons total lack of relationships. They all seem to wfh and I'm sure this contributes to lack of social skills/ meeting people in rela life.

Son is 29, steady girlfriend (met irl through mutuals), they are considering marriage but it wouldn't be for a while. He has used the apps but no-one has 'stuck'. I am pretty sure he was hoping it would though ie not a user.

Dd (27) however is not as despondent as your dd but similarly, EXTREMELY disenchanted since the end of previous ltr (mutuals again , I do think the old ways are best). She thinks covid intefereed with forming strong friendship groups in her city and hybrid working cuts socialising at work even in previously quite social industries (even if you donnt want to date colleagues, I formed lifelong friendships and dated mutuals etc in my youth)

Out drinking most nights, just about holding onto his job, because what he does is brill, he just doesn't have a clue about knuckling down.

He sounds like a good egg tbh

OP, I'd suggest your daughters would be better off going out into the real world and doing things that interest them rather than using dating apps.

Don’t have boys that age but I will say it cuts both ways, look at any of the dating threads on mn where people joke about their worst dates and make jokes about guys who were really quiet, wore unusual clothes, liked gaming etc. then the red flag green flag thing- red flag if he gets on well with his mum, he must be a mummy’s boy, or if he’s living at home, even though that poster said she was living at home too! I’d guess the social scene is difficult now too to meet people, we’re all so isolated :(

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