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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I ring him? Or sack him off?

247 replies

MissNameChage3000 · 27/03/2026 17:27

Supposed to be going on a date tonight. The man confirmed the restaurant last night (he booked the table) but didn’t specify the time. I messaged him saying let me know the plans tomorrow.

I have not heard from him all day. I messaged an hour ago asking whats the plan. He hasn’t been online for a few hours.

Shall I ring him? If we’re still going I need to start getting ready soon. (Shower makeup etc) but don’t want to come across as needy.

OP posts:
Rokabe · 27/03/2026 18:22

Has he now been in contact?

not to say time of booking is weird. Ring the restaurant and find out

aWeeCornishPastie · 27/03/2026 18:19

there is no date OP he is a prick and has changed his mind. Please don’t message again you will look desperate he has your number. But if he does contact you just ignore. That’s my advice

3luckystars · 27/03/2026 18:18

He is seeing what you will tolerate.

Cancel tonight. Don’t go. Make other plans and ignore him.

If he has any interest he will pursue you next week and make a huge effort in future.

Tuesdayschild50 · 27/03/2026 18:16

If he didn't discuss a time suitable to you both when it was booked ... don't bother contacting him again.
Don't chase him you're worth more.

SoSadSoSadSoSad · 27/03/2026 18:11

Don’t go. Don’t respond to him again.

NotThisAgainSunshine · 27/03/2026 18:10

Shit behaviour from him.
There’s no way, I would contact him again.
You’ll look desperate.

If he contacted me now at this late hour, I wouldn’t respond. Give him a taste of his own shit medicine.

allthingsinmoderation · 27/03/2026 18:08

You messaged to clarify a time and he hasnt replied .
He knows he hasn't told you a time so id assume its off if he hasn't contacted you.

ItsmeMargo · 27/03/2026 18:04

Any decent person keen for a date would make sure that the other half knew the exact time and place. Best case scenario here: he’s an idiot. Most likely: he has no intention of meeting you for a date and is being deliberately elusive.

Move on.

JanBlues2026 · 27/03/2026 18:03

My friends that date have this happen all the time, either ghosted or he will message way later with some hospital emergency story

RoseField1 · 27/03/2026 18:00

Don't phone him. If he hasn't responded already then he's not bothered.

Sartre · 27/03/2026 17:56

Very weird he booked the table and messaged to say he’d done so but didn’t say what time?? That isn’t usual behaviour whatsoever, also weird your follow up message didn’t ask for a time though. Reminds me of Americans on the phone on TV “see you at Denny’s tonight” hang up. What the fuck, what time?!

TMFF · 27/03/2026 17:55

NotHavingAlaff · 27/03/2026 17:54

Could ring and say we have a table booked in name * but just making sure on time

They'd be more likely to say they'll send another confirmation text or email.

auserna · 27/03/2026 17:54

He's either deliberately leaving you not knowing because he likes having the upper hand (in which case avoid like the plague), or he's the sort of idiot who, when you ask when you're meeting would say, "I already told you - tomorrow!"

MaggiesShadow · 27/03/2026 17:54

TurnOnTheCharm · 27/03/2026 17:52

I can't believe there are people on here making excuses for this twat

I feel like I'm in an alternate universe where standards don't exist.

NotHavingAlaff · 27/03/2026 17:54

TMFF · 27/03/2026 17:42

I'm not sure the restaurant would give out that information.

Could ring and say we have a table booked in name * but just making sure on time

TurnOnTheCharm · 27/03/2026 17:52

I can't believe there are people on here making excuses for this twat

IrishSelkie · 27/03/2026 17:50

MaggiesShadow · 27/03/2026 17:48

Ah, I misread that. But I stand by what I said. He told her he booked a table and couldn't have told her what time in the same message? It's ridiculous.

He could have, but perhaps screwed up unintentionally.

Ipollita · 27/03/2026 17:49

I don’t think he booked a table and has either ghosted you or is playing games. Throw him back and don’t contact him again.

ScarlettSarah · 27/03/2026 17:49

I'd assume he's messed up slightly, probably thinks he's told you the plan and is now at work. How many dates have you had - is this the first?

I'd probably send one more message asking what time are we meeting? And then call it a day if no response in the next half hour.

MaggiesShadow · 27/03/2026 17:48

IrishSelkie · 27/03/2026 17:47

The OP said the opposite
He hasn’t been online for a few hours.

Ah, I misread that. But I stand by what I said. He told her he booked a table and couldn't have told her what time in the same message? It's ridiculous.

tryandbepositive · 27/03/2026 17:48

Dear lord, don’t contact him again. He’s treated you badly so don’t chase after someone like that

IrishSelkie · 27/03/2026 17:47

MaggiesShadow · 27/03/2026 17:45

People treat you how you allow them to. I'm shocked at some of these responses. He was online for hours, he totally ghosted you, it's a first date.

No man on this earth is worth being such a doormat for!

The OP said the opposite
He hasn’t been online for a few hours.

YerMotherWasAHamster · 27/03/2026 17:47

I wouldn't contact him again. I wouldn't bother sending him a message saying I assume you're not coming etc because if he is playing games, he'll love that.

If he contacts you, thats when you tell him you made other plans because he didn't get back to you.

AltitudeCheck · 27/03/2026 17:46

First date or have you seen/ met him before?

He might not check messages during his work day, what does he do OP and do you know when he finishes work?

I like PP idea of calling the restaurant to check if he booked / what time. Is it local to you or do you need to travel far to get there?

I'd start to get ready, minimal effort but not call him. If I hadn't heard by 7 I'd assume he was a time waster, put my PJs on and order pizza!

MaggiesShadow · 27/03/2026 17:45

People treat you how you allow them to. I'm shocked at some of these responses. He was online for hours, he totally ghosted you, it's a first date.

No man on this earth is worth being such a doormat for!