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Original poster

Do I ring him? Or sack him off?

247 replies

MissNameChage3000 · 27/03/2026 17:27

Supposed to be going on a date tonight. The man confirmed the restaurant last night (he booked the table) but didn’t specify the time. I messaged him saying let me know the plans tomorrow.

I have not heard from him all day. I messaged an hour ago asking whats the plan. He hasn’t been online for a few hours.

Shall I ring him? If we’re still going I need to start getting ready soon. (Shower makeup etc) but don’t want to come across as needy.

OP posts:
MaggiesShadow · 27/03/2026 19:56

You don't have to put that much trust in people to begin with, @MissNameChage3000. It's absolutely understandable that you feel disappointed.

Maybe instead of dating you should spend your time widening your circle? Obviously date too, if you want! But pick up some new hobbies. Something that involves socialising, maybe? Join a book club?

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 19:53

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BBCLW · 27/03/2026 19:53

Obviously by this time unless the OP blocked his number he'd have been in contact if he was genuine, but do people really think it's unforgivable if a man doesn't answer texts during working hours, and hasn't been online on social media in that time?
So many people jumping straight to 'bin him', when I'd have thought the reasonable response would be 'wait until he's had time to finish his shift, drive home, and check his messages'?

Original poster
MissNameChage3000 · 27/03/2026 19:52

3luckystars · 27/03/2026 19:44

If he calls say you have plans. Don’t let him
know you didn’t have a back up.

You should have a back up x

Show quote history

Appreciate it x

However I don’t really have opportunity for “back up plans”. All my friends have very young children/babies and can’t commit to last minute plans. They don’t really go out much anymore, they see their mum friends now and prefer nights in.

I don’t really date much at all. Had abusive relationship in the past so I can’t trust people well or have much confidence.

Thought this guy would be different, known of him for a few years, friends of friends type thing. Recently connected on socials and messaging lead up to him “booking” this date.

Sorry all, just feeling extremely sorry for myself and lonely ATM.

OP posts:
Plasticdreams · 27/03/2026 19:50

I would have called the restaurant to see if the table was booked before my next steps.

3luckystars · 27/03/2026 19:44

MissNameChage3000 · 27/03/2026 18:44

Sacked it off.

Unfortunately all my friends have young children so they can’t make spontaneous plans on a Fri evening.

Feel a bit disappointed but I’ll be fine :)

If he calls say you have plans. Don’t let him
know you didn’t have a back up.

You should have a back up x

Kalanthe · 27/03/2026 19:38

Do not be needy. Even if he’s just disorganised and he will sit in the restaurant waiting, the world will not end if you don’t turn up. It’s his fault for not confirming. Respect yourself

Pedallleur · 27/03/2026 19:32

3luckystars · 27/03/2026 18:18

He is seeing what you will tolerate.

Cancel tonight. Don’t go. Make other plans and ignore him.

If he has any interest he will pursue you next week and make a huge effort in future.

If he starts out like that he won't improve. OP can move on now instead of wasting her time/energy with him

MermaidofRye · 27/03/2026 19:31

I'm sorry you're disappointed. Most of us would be.

He probably will turn up again but try to resist striking up with him. He may have been arranging a date with another woman and leaving it to the last minute to see which one he would take.

If that is the case, he probably chose the one who showed the most neediness or gratitude.

Congratulate yourself that it wasn't you.

Better luck next time!

Pedallleur · 27/03/2026 19:28

CanaryLibra · 27/03/2026 18:30

My money is on him getting in touch in 3-5 days with…

”I lost my phone”
”my Nan died”
“I got rushed into hospital with >insert emergency here<“

Show quote history

In a hostage situation.
His private jet was delayed
Had something so urgent come up but can't talk about (just saying SAS)

MeganM3 · 27/03/2026 19:25

That’s a shame. At least you haven’t wasted your time by going to the restaurant.

Pedallleur · 27/03/2026 19:24

ohyesido · 27/03/2026 17:39

Bet he calls you from the restaurant to ask where you are.

That was my thought. Some weird power/gaslight thing to put OP in the wrong. Be interested to know IF there is a reservation and what bs he comes up with.

Starfish1021 · 27/03/2026 19:23

Better to know what an arse he is now, so you waste no more time. But disappointing nonetheless. Hopefully you get to relax this evening

SexIsNotNebulous · 27/03/2026 19:17

Don’t be upset OP, you did the right thing.

I am genuinely shocked at how many seemingly desperate women there on here making excuses for him and pushing the OP to reach out again.

nah mate, he’s a wanker and I bet he pops up in a week. Block him now. Enjoy your evening.

TurnOnTheCharm · 27/03/2026 19:16

What a shit feeling this is OP most of us have been there. Let yourself feel gutted, it'll pass in a week or so. The twat x

Midlifecrisisaverted · 27/03/2026 19:12

CanaryLibra · 27/03/2026 18:30

My money is on him getting in touch in 3-5 days with…

”I lost my phone”
”my Nan died”
“I got rushed into hospital with >insert emergency here<“

Show quote history

This. Lots of experience of OLD via best friends and myself. He's hedging his bets and saw someone else. When the other doesn't work out, he'll come back with an excuse. Sorry. But in 14 years of experience this has never not been the case. Get shut, you dodged a bullet

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 27/03/2026 19:12

"So many rude people on here!"

Rude people on MN, what a surprise.

MrsLizzieDarcy · 27/03/2026 19:10

Some people really are the dregs of society, OP. He sounds like a waster of a flake - dust yourself down and move on. You're worth better.

Tablesandchairs23 · 27/03/2026 19:06

No don't contact him.

awalkalongthecanal · 27/03/2026 19:02

Ahh sorry OP, that sucks. Have a chill night - he’s not worth your time. Still shit though - sympathies

moonstarsuns · 27/03/2026 18:56

F

painthedaystodayaway · 27/03/2026 18:56

Ahh what a bellend. I wonder if he will come up with some shitty excuse. 10 points if he says he’s stuck in work 15 points if he’s helping someone and 20 points if there’s some shocking family emergency.

shit for you op but maybe you have dived a bullet here

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 18:52

MissNameChage3000 · 27/03/2026 18:51

Sorry for being upset and disappointed over being
messed around by a guy I really liked.

So many rude people on here!

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Relax about my jokey message!

as for him, twat and and saved yourself wasted effort and money. Treat yourself tonight!

Climbingrosexx · 27/03/2026 18:52

Don't ring and don't go is my advice. If he's genuine and something has happened meaning has not been able to contact you he will be in touch, but to be honest you don't book a table but not specify a time. Very odd

Original poster
MissNameChage3000 · 27/03/2026 18:51

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 18:50

Oh chill

order yourself a takeaway and watch your fave film

Show quote history

Sorry for being upset and disappointed over being
messed around by a guy I really liked.

So many rude people on here!

OP posts:
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