Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I ring him? Or sack him off?

247 replies

MissNameChage3000 · 27/03/2026 17:27

Supposed to be going on a date tonight. The man confirmed the restaurant last night (he booked the table) but didn’t specify the time. I messaged him saying let me know the plans tomorrow.

I have not heard from him all day. I messaged an hour ago asking whats the plan. He hasn’t been online for a few hours.

Shall I ring him? If we’re still going I need to start getting ready soon. (Shower makeup etc) but don’t want to come across as needy.

OP posts:
Lifelover16 · 27/03/2026 17:45

I agree with @JanBlues2026 - send him a brief text saying that as you haven’t heard from him you have made other plans.

ThatCyanCat · 27/03/2026 17:45

Who books a table but doesn't tell you the time once they've booked it?

He's either impossibly scatty or playing power games. Either way I wouldn't want to see him.

IrishSelkie · 27/03/2026 17:44

It could just be an oversight. Odd to bin off what could be a great relationship over a small error. If you can’t tell, I’m a big believer in second chances.

thewonderfulmrswatson · 27/03/2026 17:44

He didn't book anything and you've been ghosted or blocked.
Get ready for either not hearing from him again ir "family / child emergency" or taken to hospital.

Sustainbrain · 27/03/2026 17:44

NormasArse · 27/03/2026 17:40

Since you have no idea what time you’re going, and he hasn’t been in touch, I’d assume it’s not happening.

You could have a shower just in case though- if you like him.

Absolutely do not have a shower and then leg it out the door at the last minute! If it was a power play you would then be very much on the back foot. No this is not how you should be treated at all in the early stages of dating and don't entertain it for a second.

Aquarius91 · 27/03/2026 17:44

He might be genuinely busy at work.
Dont write him off but also don’t contact him again. Can you go out with someone else if you don’t hear from him?

buymeaboaanddrivemetoreno · 27/03/2026 17:43

I saw a good thing online recently that said to say something like: Since I haven’t heard from you to confirm arrangements I’ve made other plans for my night. If this is a miscommunication between us we can reschedule for another time.

Sustainbrain · 27/03/2026 17:42

Yes or a power play and ick to that.

TMFF · 27/03/2026 17:42

NotHavingAlaff · 27/03/2026 17:38

Do u know the restaurant name and his name? Id ring restaurant and see if he's actually booked and the time. But I wouldn't contact him

I'm not sure the restaurant would give out that information.

Sustainbrain · 27/03/2026 17:41

Totally had this when I was dating. Hes either nervous with cold feet or is incompetent and rude. Neither worth bothering with. Block and delete so no chance of breadcrumbing.

TMFF · 27/03/2026 17:41

No, I'm all for communication and not playing silly games but you've done enough.

If I were you I'd get ready and go out with friends if you can.

NormasArse · 27/03/2026 17:40

Since you have no idea what time you’re going, and he hasn’t been in touch, I’d assume it’s not happening.

You could have a shower just in case though- if you like him.

Marmalade71 · 27/03/2026 17:40

Yeah weird power play. Move on

ohyesido · 27/03/2026 17:39

Bet he calls you from the restaurant to ask where you are.

pilates · 27/03/2026 17:38

Yeah write that one off - what a weirdo

NotHavingAlaff · 27/03/2026 17:38

Do u know the restaurant name and his name? Id ring restaurant and see if he's actually booked and the time. But I wouldn't contact him

Arlanymor · 27/03/2026 17:36

How weird does someone have to be that they book a table but don’t tell you the time?! I would avoid an odd bod like that to be honest.

TurnOnTheCharm · 27/03/2026 17:33

Do NOT contact him. I wouldn't bother going now anyway if he's left you hanging all afternoon

LividArse · 27/03/2026 17:32

Early dates should be easy. There was no need for him to not tell you the details yesterday, it's either incompetence or a power play and neither is attractive.

JanBlues2026 · 27/03/2026 17:31

I would send one last message saying as he didn’t get back to you, you have made other plans

FlavourtownBaby · 27/03/2026 17:29

I would try ringing him once but I wouldn’t keep trying if I didn’t get through. There’s no way of knowing if there’s a genuine emergency or he’s being a twat so I wouldn’t spend all night chasing him. I hope there’s a reasonable explanation.

MaggiesShadow · 27/03/2026 17:29

I absolutely would not contact him again. I'm not even sure I'd go if he texted now, since he's been ignoring you all day. Actually, I'm sure I WOULDN'T go.