To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

Typical reaction on MN, AIBU, yes you are! Then you must be a man!

But you’ve already said that one is 17 and one is 17+

No, it's not romantic when teen kids could hear or burst in at any time. He just had morning glory, which most men have and tbh, tough luck.

I dated someone who tried it on pretty much every morning we stayed together, drove me up the bloody wall esp as I would have to get to work and I'd not even had a cuppa, lol. Not romantic, felt more a service to deal with his erection. I woke him up once with a cucumber sticking in the small of his back to see if he liked it - we broke up soon after as he had no sense of humour or fair play!

As you said, once the kids were gone, then green light. If the sulking is because you called him a pervert, I can understand, but if he's sulking because he didn't get sex then he's an idiot. Sulking will never put you in the mood!

I also think he is one of those men who see their almost adult sons as a threat to their authority and as rivals for the affection of their mother. Keeping you busy in the bedroom so you aren't downstairs making their breakfast and making it obvious what you two are doing is like him marking his territory.

@NobodysGirl they used to.....but I've been single for the past five years so tis just a distant memory!! 🤣

Actually we’re not wealthy either, so I don’t assume that anymore! Although my DD1 does call us that all the time, and I really don’t know why she hasn’t stopped. She’s very young for her age emotionally, which probably plays a part.

OP didn’t say they have to be 18 to have sex, she said she hopes they’re 18plus, at uni and in a good relationship with someone. Which is completely different to saying they can’t! That’s not unreasonable for a parent to want that

Keep your kids from coming in your bedroom, and if you fancy it, then go for it.

YANBU. You can decline sex at any time for any reason.

Mine are 18 and 14 DDs - 14 year old will sometimes ask for help doing her hair or finding her PE kit, but more often than not, she just gets on with it and shouts goodbye as she's leaving for the bus

DH does iron her a fresh shirt every morning - mostly because neither of us can be bothered to do it on a Sunday night - she does sometimes iron her own shirts. He or I will also make her a cup of tea when we are making our own coffee.

18 year old just gets herself ready - has done since she started senior school pretty much (she used to get a shirt ironed too, but has never had hot drinks). She does get a lift to the station - but only because we live rurally and she hasn't passed her driving test yet - if we were in walking distance, that wouldn't happen.

We have made neither of them breakfast since they started year 7 - they were very much told that if they wanted to eat in the morning, it was their responsibility to get themselves up on time and get some food. Generally they choose the extra time in bed - sometimes grabbing a pastry or breakfast bar on their way out of the door!

They sometimes get breakfast made for them at weekends, but usually only if DH is making something for all of us (neither DH or I regularly eat breakfast )

I wouldn’t want to have sex in those circumstances. We have a teen Ds and an adult dd living with us and it’s a complete turn off to think they might hear us. We rarely have sex now because of it. Maybe once a month if they’re both out somewhere. We’re just not that bothered about it though- both older / middle aged and health issues etc. When we were younger and the dc were younger it was easier as they went to bed earlier but now they’re up later than we are and up and downstairs all the time.

If your relationship is on the rocks (as others have suggested re your other thread) that would be enough to put me off sex too. I don’t know how women’s vaginas don’t completely clamp shut when they’re in a shit relationship. There’s no way I’d have sex with someone I was thinking about leaving.

The thing is, it's NOT disrespectful for him to try it on with his wife at 6.30.

It didn't suit you, fine. It's perfectly reasonable for you to decline.

But the act of him asking was not disrespectful. Poorly timed? Yes. Ill-considered? Maybe. Disrespectful? No!

I'm surprised he still wants sex with you after 50 (you, not him). And having sex with kids in the house is absolutely disgusting.

There’s nothing wrong with saying no to sex if it doesn’t feel like a good time in the day for you. There’s also nothing wrong with asking for morning sex.

sex between married couples is perfectly normal.

I wouldn't call it a fetish to want early morning sex. Yes the children can hear, but I expect they have been hearing it for years. Op I think you are overreacting on this one

We aren't a touchy feeley family, including extended. However on special occasions, all adults will hug and give a kiss. Men included.

She said that after I'd posted the comment you are quoting - and I did listen to her because I responded by advising her to speak to him about needing to teach them independence and if he was still insistent to tell him to do it himself!