Page 6 | To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

NobodysGirl · 2026-03-27T13:30:55+00:00

I get up at 6.30 and get breakfast and stuff for DC to leave at 7.30 (High school), their alarm goes at 6.30 too and rarely they do saunter in if the door were unlocked- but even otherwise the rooms are all close by and they would be up and about and this is more embarrassing now that they are grown and would easily have guessed. Found it disgusting and a turn off and annoyed with H Especially as he knew I would have been willing after they had left for a lie in as we both wfh and have the whole place to ourselves and full privacy till late evening when they are back. Is this a fetish that emerges in couples in 40s and 50s to pounce and try it on at inappropriate times? Does it keep men from getting bored to be risque than safe. Not having it.

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:21

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:16

Yep met 24+ years go

Married 22 years ago

one year of pregnancy after the child free years where he said lets not have kids, lets just have fun and also make lots of money

ok so both mid and older teens

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:21

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:20

But your sons will know all too well how unhappy the home is and will be unlikely to want to visit often and certainly not leave Kids there. Would you leave the children in the company as you describe your husband…. Constantly grumpy, moody, verbally abusive?

Show quote history

No.....

OP posts:

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:20

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:15

I cheer myself up thinking there will be grandkids to help take care of in 10 years @rokabe .....I know , I know ......

Show quote history

But your sons will know all too well how unhappy the home is and will be unlikely to want to visit often and certainly not leave Kids there. Would you leave the children in the company as you describe your husband…. Constantly grumpy, moody, verbally abusive?

Endofyear · 27/03/2026 17:18

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 14:01

but the incident on it's own appears to have been deemed as me being unreasonable not him

Show quote history

You're not unreasonable to not feel like sex first thing in the morning when kids are up and about. You are unreasonable to accuse him of having a fetish!

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:18

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 17:16

Be like what?

Show quote history

A guy who presses his dick against his wife's back or hip when she is sleeping

OP posts:

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:16

Yep met 24+ years go

Married 22 years ago

one year of pregnancy after the child free years where he said lets not have kids, lets just have fun and also make lots of money

OP posts:

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 17:16

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:11

Yeah sometimes it is but that is okay as long as I am not ill or kids not about etc

Also to the PP who mentioned cucumber on the back during sleep, OMG yes! I have a pillow always these days to avoid this

He did not used to be like this

Show quote history

Be like what?

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:15

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 16:43

Very soon it’s going to be just you and him in the house. How do you feel when you imagine that?

I cheer myself up thinking there will be grandkids to help take care of in 10 years @rokabe .....I know , I know ......

OP posts:

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:15

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:08

I edited the ages a bit not to be outing but now I am genuinely confused with your math why neither are 19 :)

High School Dss

Show quote history

On your thread you said 17 and 17Plus

you have been together 25 years
you said you had 6 years of child free sex

So… 17 and 19?

either way… tpu talk about them like they’re 7 and 9. What kind of partners are your son going to make… ask yourself that!!

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:13

Miketymokety · 27/03/2026 16:51

I think posters have been rather harsh on you, Op and the first replies set the tone. The AIBU score gives a different story in any case. You say you have an hour to get kids ready, he insists on you making breakfast etc, but wants to delay you, just as the kids are getting up. They obviously would likely be aware of what's happening in that case, and I agree, that's not sexy! It would be very odd to get turned on in that scenario. A previous post garnered lots of horror and support, due to a dad having noisy sex with his new girlfriend with kids in the house. Nearly everyone agreed it was grim and fetsistic/a safeguarding issue. Yes, teenagers know about sex, but probably dont really want to hear their parents at it. You have the whole day, so of course he can wait, and it sounds that although it made you uncomfortable, you didn't call him a pervert to his face and in fact gave him a cuddle! Totally get why it made you uncomfortable, especially if he's being grumpy and difficult in general. The main takeaway is that you shouldn't feel the need to get kids breakfast etc at their age, particularly at the insistence of your husband, but I understand if you want to be with them at breakfast to talk and to see them off.

Thank you !

Although the cuddle was before it all.

OP posts:

FrostyPalms · 27/03/2026 17:12

From reading a bunch of posts it seems like the issue some people would have with sex in the morning while kids are awake is that they would have to get up and close/lock the door first, and couldn't be sure their kids wouldn't burst in. My husband and I have always slept with our bedroom door closed, and we kept it locked until we knew for sure that our kids understood the rule about not walking in to a room with a closed door. Things might have been different if we had an open door policy in our room. Thank goodness we never did!

The other issue is the noise. Surely you can all manage to do it quietly when necessary?

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:11

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 16:51

You have sex with him, makes it sound like you’re servicing him. Do you enjoy it? Sounds like a duty fuck.

Show quote history

Yeah sometimes it is but that is okay as long as I am not ill or kids not about etc

Also to the PP who mentioned cucumber on the back during sleep, OMG yes! I have a pillow always these days to avoid this

He did not used to be like this

OP posts:

Netcurtainnelly · 27/03/2026 17:09

Men!!!!

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:09

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:05

Didn't mind when kids were tiny actually or even younger as they would not know or guess if the door was locked. I would make up a story.

One of my friends has heard my tale and remembered the time her H made her come to the bathroom as he needed to get off or he would die apparently , B'cos the kids were in their bedroom - she ended up on the bathroom floor unwillingly?!

But yeah context, her marriage has been rocky a while too

Show quote history

you have told your friend what happened this morning?

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:08

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:01

I mean they are 17 and 19 (if you’ve been together 25 years and had 6 years without children)…. I wouldnt read too much into them not calling him “daddy” or kissing him.

Show quote history

I edited the ages a bit not to be outing but now I am genuinely confused with your math why neither are 19 :)

High School Dss

OP posts:

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:05

BauhausOfEliott · 27/03/2026 16:54

You can turn down sex for any reason, if you don’t want it, so YANBU to say no thanks.

But calling him ‘disgusting’ and suggesting he has a fetish for wanting sex in the privacy of the bedroom - when your kids are teens and thus aren’t going to come in to announce they’ve had a nightmare or need their potty or something - is ridiculous. He didn’t do anything wrong.

Basically, it’s fine to say no to sex. Other than that, though, my main take away from your post is that you’ve got some very uptight views and also hate your husband.

Didn't mind when kids were tiny actually or even younger as they would not know or guess if the door was locked. I would make up a story.

One of my friends has heard my tale and remembered the time her H made her come to the bathroom as he needed to get off or he would die apparently , B'cos the kids were in their bedroom - she ended up on the bathroom floor unwillingly?!

But yeah context, her marriage has been rocky a while too

OP posts:

Squarehairbear · 27/03/2026 17:05

This is an interesting thread. Nothing about this says fetish to me but, I do think there's prob more going on that a guy just suddenly fancying sex with his OH one morning. My DH has done this in the past and I've definitely felt it's because the DC are in the house rather than in spite of it i.e. it's good for them to know that we still have sex / our marriage takes priority. So, we def have sex when they are in the house but on a weekday when you have stuff to do etc I'd find that stressful and just be thinking of what needed to be done rather than being able to enjoy the moment. As long as he understands that, not a problem. But it sounds as if there's more going on for you two at the moment anyway

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:01

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 15:52

They don't ever call their dad - daddy

or give him affectionate hugs or kisses on the cheek anymore that I can remember in a while

Is that normal too in your house, snowman?

Show quote history

I mean they are 17 and 19 (if you’ve been together 25 years and had 6 years without children)…. I wouldnt read too much into them not calling him “daddy” or kissing him.

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:01

@JustAnotherWhinger , so so true, every word. Oh God.

OP posts:

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:00

JustAnotherWhinger · 27/03/2026 16:51

I think this is one of those things that in a happy, secure, relationship you’d have said “later…” and he’d have responded similarly. You’d have both been kind, possibly even playful.

But in a bad relationship it’s so different. What is horny and fun in a good relationship can seem crude and insulting in a bad one. What’s flattering and sexy in a good relationship seems selfish and grimy in a bad relationship.

When you’re in a bad place you’re always assuming the worst of intentions, so you have the worst of reactions.

it’s not a healthy, or nice, place for either of you to be

Yes, somewhere in my dreams, there is still 22 year old me before I met H, with my fantasy guy who smiles and sexily says 'OK, can't wait' when I say 'Later' instead of turning into an octopus.

OP posts:

Luckyforsome23 · 27/03/2026 16:55

My DP sometimes suggests sex when the kids are in the house and awake. I just remind him I prefer to wait until they all leave so I can relax and know I won’t be interrupted. I think his asking and you declining are both normal.

Menapausemum1974 · 27/03/2026 16:54

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 14:56

What time in the morning, is it when the kids would be expecting to see you at the breakfast counter etc

Do your kids get their own breakfast, mine are a bit spoiled I guess, as rarely get toast themselves and always beg for a hot breakfast , even if it is just some fried egg with the toast. Cereal haters.

Show quote history

@NobodysGirl at that age my boys fended for themselves, usually made them evening meal and an occasional bacon sandwich at weekends but breakfasts during the week, everybody fends for themselves!

BauhausOfEliott · 27/03/2026 16:54

You can turn down sex for any reason, if you don’t want it, so YANBU to say no thanks.

But calling him ‘disgusting’ and suggesting he has a fetish for wanting sex in the privacy of the bedroom - when your kids are teens and thus aren’t going to come in to announce they’ve had a nightmare or need their potty or something - is ridiculous. He didn’t do anything wrong.

Basically, it’s fine to say no to sex. Other than that, though, my main take away from your post is that you’ve got some very uptight views and also hate your husband.

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 16:53

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 27/03/2026 16:52

Ugh never before 8:30 regardless of whether teens or kids are about. Sulky men are deeply unsexy.

I love early morning sex, nothing Ugh about it.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 27/03/2026 16:52

Ugh never before 8:30 regardless of whether teens or kids are about. Sulky men are deeply unsexy.