To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

This issue is not her not wanting sex, most people have said that's fine. It's her labelling her husband wanting sex with her in the morning as a fetish and actually suggesting that to him, as though he was some kind of deviant getting off having sex near kids.

Oh don’t see this, I see people saying it’s wrong to say it’s a “fetish” or act like it’s weird.

It’s not.

One partner wanting sex, but the other doesn’t fancy it, it’s not unusual is it?

Literally no one is saying OP is wrong to say no. They're saying she's wrong to suggest he was wrong to suggest it, or that he has a fetish, or that he was treating his son a sexual rival.

I read all sorts of things and believe it or not I'm entitled to. I just find it mind blowing the number of insecure women who think she should be at it whenever he has a hard (on or else he will have an affair ).
And so many women think she's wrong to say 'No'.
Its up to her where, and how ,and what time of day....unless you all want to have a go at a little bit of coercive pimping!

Why cant they make their own breakfast?

You certainly seemed pretty involved earlier today @Dewdust

now “sex is a private matter” you say

What drew you to thread? Clearly one involving sex in the thread title

I just dont understand why you should ask the world if you should have sex or not.

Its YOUR DECISION.

And why others are so obsessed with whether or not you make breakfast.

How could it alter your opinion? If your hubby is openly shagging you with the boys in earshot they will start saying things like : " Mum was busy shagging dad and forgot to give me diner money/ sign my note/ read my journal . "

Does anyone else agree that sex is a private matter and doesnt involve the community consent of mumsnet?

Yeah ‘cause a woman that says no to sex deserves to be treated like shit eh? 🙄

I mean, god forbid a bloke should ask his wife for sex - what awful behaviour!

People who think like this shouldn’t be surprised when he has an affair / leaves for someone else in five years time…

They are almost adults... they can make their own bloody breakfast.

I think most men and woman wake up horny. Men, IME, tend to wake with a hard on and want to do something with it - if they wait an hour, it's gone and they've moved on. This is just an observation, i'm not saying it's good or bad - just the way it is.

I think your reaction was way too strong, just say no and move on.

I think your teenage kids need to make their own breakfast and get themselves ready for school, you aren't doing them any favours by doing everything for them.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a quickie if they are downstairs getting breakfast and you're upstairs doing whatever.

Does your husband ever get up to do them breakfast?

Maybe I read a different thread then. My apologies.

I mean, it was a man doing something a woman didn’t approve of. That always warrants a Mumsnet thread.

I think you’re being a bit OTT thinking it’s some pervy fetish involving your children effectively!

I think he just woke up horny as many of us do and fancied a bit before the DC fully got up. I don’t think this warranted a Mumsnet thread…

Do not compare a very poorly woman being raped to you being asked for consual sex while you were awake in bed.

In all honesty, I haven't read your other thread. But the way you say you spoke to him, and the way you talk about him. I imagine his side of this relationship doesn't feel that great either.

It's not about him being in the mood and you not being in the mood. But you treating him like he's some kind of disgusting sex pest with a creepy fetish is really unreasonable and abit cruel. He attempted to initiate consensual sex with his conscious wife, in their bed, with no one else in the room. That's perfectly reasonable to do. You didn't want to have sex at that moment. Also fine. Treating him like he's disgusting is absolutely not fine.

I can't imagine liking someone who treated me the way you say you've treated him today.

So it was before the alarm and before your “teens” alarm?

Earlier you said the issue was the teens alarm was also going off?

The story is changing.

That poor lady has absolutely nothing to do with your very unhappy and verbally abusive marriage

Lol, something that also happens because they have a full bladder?! It's biology, that's all.

Well there we go.

You need to start thinking about the two of you alone.