Page 4 | To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

NobodysGirl · 2026-03-27T13:30:55+00:00

I get up at 6.30 and get breakfast and stuff for DC to leave at 7.30 (High school), their alarm goes at 6.30 too and rarely they do saunter in if the door were unlocked- but even otherwise the rooms are all close by and they would be up and about and this is more embarrassing now that they are grown and would easily have guessed. Found it disgusting and a turn off and annoyed with H Especially as he knew I would have been willing after they had left for a lie in as we both wfh and have the whole place to ourselves and full privacy till late evening when they are back. Is this a fetish that emerges in couples in 40s and 50s to pounce and try it on at inappropriate times? Does it keep men from getting bored to be risque than safe. Not having it.

BudgetBuster · 27/03/2026 20:08

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 19:42

Thanks @Anyahyacinth

@BoogieTownTop , He really is the one who insists on the cooked breakfast yada routine for kids in the morning, I would not mind them getting themselves cereal. Do you stop mid way and rush out if the kids are hollering , or what if they get genuinely worried if you aren't up and about because of a stroke?

@Rokabe , haha no of course I am not going to do nothing. I have already moved into the spare room. will wait for DC to go off to uni , will teach them to spot stroke signs. Will also fund my own care in retirement and go into paid care when I am retired as I dont trust H to look past his wood even at 80 to look out for someone else having a heart attack or collapsing. I will love my GC when they come if I am still around, I will stay on mumsnet and read EachandEveryone's threads meanwhile and other threads by Brilliant brave funny MNers. I have a plan. A good one.

Why would a 17yo be hollering for his fucking breakfast? What kind of children do you have that holler at you at 6.30am.... They sound as ignorant as your husband, and some poor man / woman will have to deal with their neediness in the future.

Also... how was he asking you for sex, and poking you in the back with his wood if you sleep in the spare room? He must have the longest dick on the planet

NoisyViewer · 27/03/2026 19:59

I prefer morning sex and I’m quite prudish

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 19:58

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brunettemic · 27/03/2026 19:57

So weird. He’s fine to want sex, you’re fine to not want it. I find this whole concept of not being able to have sex when when DC are in the house strange. It’s not like every time you have sex you need to screaming your head off.

I also laughed at your excuse being your teenage kids being unable to make their own breakfast 😂

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 19:56

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I lied. I don't have a plan. I don't even have a pla....

just moved to spare room and it's peaceful here.

OP posts:

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 19:50

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Rokabe · 27/03/2026 19:48

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Miketymokety · 27/03/2026 19:48

Yes Anya, exactly, it's bizarre how Op's feelings and discomfort are being argued with by so many people. Being accused of being unkind to what sounds like quite an unpleasant man and told not to be surprised if he looks elsewhere, even though Op has said they have a regular sex life. So outdated and misogynistic. It IS weird/fetishistic to want sex with your partner with an unlocked door, knowingly that your kids might walk in at any moment, when you have a full day alone together anyway. Op has a lot to think about clearly, but please don't be swayed by all these people claiming that you should be having sex within earshot of your kids all the time in order to show them a 'healthy relationship '.Wouldn't be surprised if a lot of posters are male.

HortiGal · 27/03/2026 19:42

On another point, why do 15-17 yr olds need their mum to get up and feed them?

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 19:42

Thanks @Anyahyacinth

@BoogieTownTop , He really is the one who insists on the cooked breakfast yada routine for kids in the morning, I would not mind them getting themselves cereal. Do you stop mid way and rush out if the kids are hollering , or what if they get genuinely worried if you aren't up and about because of a stroke?

@Rokabe , haha no of course I am not going to do nothing. I have already moved into the spare room. will wait for DC to go off to uni , will teach them to spot stroke signs. Will also fund my own care in retirement and go into paid care when I am retired as I dont trust H to look past his wood even at 80 to look out for someone else having a heart attack or collapsing. I will love my GC when they come if I am still around, I will stay on mumsnet and read EachandEveryone's threads meanwhile and other threads by Brilliant brave funny MNers. I have a plan. A good one.

OP posts:

Anyahyacinth · 27/03/2026 19:34

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 19:26

Her DH tried to instigate sex, she said no 🤷‍♀️

She then thinks it’s a fetish?

Really?

Show quote history

Way to minimise..she talks about extracting herself from his being, from memory, an octopus (all hands on her). When she says no...he is then unpleasant. It was nowhere near the neutral equal event you try and minimise it to.

If she knows they are likely to be either seen or heard...? What is that a normal situation? OP is the one that lives in that household and knew what she felt and described it
Edited for typos

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 19:26

Anyahyacinth · 27/03/2026 19:21

They arent posting on one issue they're going off on ridiculous tangents about this family's morning routines. Things that are beside the point of what happened. Husband wanted sex when they generally get up and care for sons. Wife thought it was creepy.
Surely if the husband wants morning privacy and to have sex HE establishes a new routine(locks door, shouts to kids get your own breakfasts etc...ensures the kids don't overhear sex noises)...oh but I see...everyone's needs weigh on OP....right, right
All problems hers to solve 🤢

Edited

Show quote history

Her DH tried to instigate sex, she said no 🤷‍♀️

She then thinks it’s a fetish?

Really?

Easterbunnyishotandcross · 27/03/2026 19:22

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Anyahyacinth · 27/03/2026 19:21

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 19:13

So posting this thread and wanting people to only comment on this particular issue, was not what you wanted?

Show quote history

They arent posting on one issue they're going off on ridiculous tangents about this family's morning routines. Things that are beside the point of what happened. Husband wanted sex when they generally get up and care for sons. Wife thought it was creepy.
Surely if the husband wants morning privacy and to have sex HE establishes a new routine(locks door, shouts to kids get your own breakfasts etc...ensures the kids don't overhear sex noises)...oh but I see...everyone's needs weigh on OP....right, right
All problems hers to solve 🤢

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 19:20

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Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 19:17

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 19:13

So posting this thread and wanting people to only comment on this particular issue, was not what you wanted?

Show quote history

It was what I wanted and thank you.

I was unreasonable ... to still be trying at this point and unreasonable for wasting all your time with this thread.

Hopefully it was helpful to someone reading in a healthy marriage which is loving and caring and respectful except for morning wood minor conflict.

OP posts:

BoogieTownTop · 27/03/2026 19:13

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 19:09

Anyway I will continue to post my non saga on my other thread. It isn't about just this morning - just one more drop in an ocean.

He got news 2 days ago that his sister in the US had a mild stroke (only early 50s) , we were worried about that, my heart went out to him when he said yesterday 'life keeps taking things one by one from us.....' and I felt the same sadness too.

That's why I cuddled up this morning, but I don't think I will again unless I get up first to check the door is locked.

His sister back home after a night in hospital, two days. Apparently her husband noticed her face drooping and insisted she be driven immediately to ER there and they were able to give her blood thinners , anti platelets immediately. No limbs needing physiotherapy or speech needing therapy.

Just a warning, and a confirmation from doctors that it was a stroke with MRI , and they thought it was a miracle and she was blessed. So happy for her, and she is indeed blessed. Would my H notice a facial droop ? Or be too busy taking care of his morning wood? I was once admitted in hospital with BP of 235/175 and he was with another woman at a hobby thing.

I still think I had lasting damage from the high blood pressure episodes, I can't do safety pins anymore , I cant jog down stairs anymore - but what's important is to look out for his morning wood and servicing it.

If I had any sense, I would be done.

So posting this thread and wanting people to only comment on this particular issue, was not what you wanted?

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 19:12

Very impressed with US doctors, but I think what makes such a difference at A&E/ER is a husband who rushes in looking frantic and saying

My wife is not herself, I can clearly make out a one sided face droop and speech not okay this morning

Versus

A husband looking annoyed about being late for work and hobbies walking in

My wife insisted we come and get her checked, her face looks strange and her speech too, but then again she 's a bit of a nutjob and a hypochondriac, I hope she doesnt waste your time today.

He did that once with my GP and was asked to leave by the GP

OP posts:

Original poster

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 19:09

Anyway I will continue to post my non saga on my other thread. It isn't about just this morning - just one more drop in an ocean.

He got news 2 days ago that his sister in the US had a mild stroke (only early 50s) , we were worried about that, my heart went out to him when he said yesterday 'life keeps taking things one by one from us.....' and I felt the same sadness too.

That's why I cuddled up this morning, but I don't think I will again unless I get up first to check the door is locked.

His sister back home after a night in hospital, two days. Apparently her husband noticed her face drooping and insisted she be driven immediately to ER there and they were able to give her blood thinners , anti platelets immediately. No limbs needing physiotherapy or speech needing therapy.

Just a warning, and a confirmation from doctors that it was a stroke with MRI , and they thought it was a miracle and she was blessed. So happy for her, and she is indeed blessed. Would my H notice a facial droop ? Or be too busy taking care of his morning wood? I was once admitted in hospital with BP of 235/175 and he was with another woman at a hobby thing.

I still think I had lasting damage from the high blood pressure episodes, I can't do safety pins anymore , I cant jog down stairs anymore - but what's important is to look out for his morning wood and servicing it.

If I had any sense, I would be done.

OP posts:

Anyahyacinth · 27/03/2026 19:06

ImmortalSnowman · 27/03/2026 15:47

@NobodysGirl can belittle her husband and act like he's disgusting for even thinking about 6:30am sex but you think she can't say she's not making breakfast for her almost adult sons every morning?

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One was about protecting sons from sex noises the other may well be path of least resistance with an unpleasant partner. The situations aren't comparable

alexdgr8 · 27/03/2026 19:04

Why doesn't husband get them breakfast if he thinks it's lazy parenting not to ???
Also surely a 17 year old is capable of frying an egg ?
How will they manage at college or in digs ?
do they Ever get breakfast for you at the weekend ?
Babyfying them is not helping them. Or you.
All the best.
Ps how can you bear to have sex with a man you believe does not love you?

Cerezo · 27/03/2026 19:03

ChangeAgainAgainAgain · 27/03/2026 14:20

YANBU to say no to sex.

YABU to accuse him of having a fetish or to be angry at him for asking.

HIBU if he's sulking because you turned him down for sex.
HINBU if he is upset by your reaction, and your ridiculous accusations of him having a fetish.

Thread over.

Gettingbysomehow · 27/03/2026 19:00

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 15:33

Maybe this is a compatibility issue not 'abuse' by either one

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Id have given my ex abuse alright. If I was a cat Id have hissed at him.

ThisArtfulOP · 27/03/2026 18:58

Am I weird for thinking why anyone wants sex lol

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 18:55

Dewdust · 27/03/2026 18:30

I read all sorts of things and believe it or not I'm entitled to. I just find it mind blowing the number of insecure women who think she should be at it whenever he has a hard (on or else he will have an affair ).
And so many women think she's wrong to say 'No'.
Its up to her where, and how ,and what time of day....unless you all want to have a go at a little bit of coercive pimping!

I don’t think you have actually read any of the responses. Bring up one example of who think she should be at it whenever he has a hard (on or else he will have an affair ).

just one will do