To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

I think I mumbled ' what ?? the door might not even be locked!? Stop. wth? Wait till DC leave. what the eff' shoved off octopus hands and lips and got up and walked away.

But before that I did give him a morning cuddle which I usually do not, sorry for the drip feed, it was not a sexual cuddle but don't worry cuddle, because one of his family was in hospital earlier this week.

Maybe it was partly on me. I am overthinking it since this morning and exhausted now. Right and wrong and shades of grey in a marriage.

I'm sure lots of people will be along in a sec to tell you their stories about their early morning sex experiences OP

I think most men and woman wake up horny. Men, IME, tend to wake with a hard on and want to do something with it - if they wait an hour, it's gone and they've moved on. This is just an observation, i'm not saying it's good or bad - just the way it is.

I think your reaction was way too strong, just say no and move on.

I think your teenage kids need to make their own breakfast and get themselves ready for school, you aren't doing them any favours by doing everything for them.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a quickie if they are downstairs getting breakfast and you're upstairs doing whatever.

were there teens getting ready for school nearby ? like why not wait half hour?

but the incident on it's own appears to have been deemed as me being unreasonable not him

Its never 'unreasonable' to refuse sex with anyone if you don't want it.

Its pretty unreasonable to accuse him of developing a fetish, just because he woke up horny and thought you might be up for a quickie. Its also unreasonable to describe this as 'disgusting'. So what if the kids 'guessed' what you'd been up to? How do they think they came into being?

Is there a backstory here?

I get up at 6.30 and get breakfast and stuff for DC to leave at 7.30 (High school), their alarm goes at 6.30 too and rarely they do saunter in if the door were unlocked- but even otherwise the rooms are all close by and they would be up and about and this is more embarrassing now that they are grown and would easily have guessed.

Found it disgusting and a turn off and annoyed with H

Especially as he knew I would have been willing after they had left for a lie in as we both wfh and have the whole place to ourselves and full privacy till late evening when they are back.

Is this a fetish that emerges in couples in 40s and 50s to pounce and try it on at inappropriate times? Does it keep men from getting bored to be risque than safe.

Not having it.

I get up at 6.30 and get breakfast and stuff for DC to leave at 7.30 (High school), their alarm goes at 6.30 too and rarely they do saunter in if the door were unlocked- but even otherwise the rooms are all close by and they would be up and about and this is more embarrassing now that they are grown and would easily have guessed.

Found it disgusting and a turn off and annoyed with H

Especially as he knew I would have been willing after they had left for a lie in as we both wfh and have the whole place to ourselves and full privacy till late evening when they are back.

Is this a fetish that emerges in couples in 40s and 50s to pounce and try it on at inappropriate times? Does it keep men from getting bored to be risque than safe.

Not having it.

Didn't mind when kids were tiny actually or even younger as they would not know or guess if the door was locked. I would make up a story.

One of my friends has heard my tale and remembered the time her H made her come to the bathroom as he needed to get off or he would die apparently , B'cos the kids were in their bedroom - she ended up on the bathroom floor unwillingly?!

But yeah context, her marriage has been rocky a while too

I lied. I don't have a plan. I don't even have a pla....

just moved to spare room and it's peaceful here.

So in this situation, I was wrong then and not him....okay then

Thanks @Anyahyacinth

@BoogieTownTop , He really is the one who insists on the cooked breakfast yada routine for kids in the morning, I would not mind them getting themselves cereal. Do you stop mid way and rush out if the kids are hollering , or what if they get genuinely worried if you aren't up and about because of a stroke?

@Rokabe , haha no of course I am not going to do nothing. I have already moved into the spare room. will wait for DC to go off to uni , will teach them to spot stroke signs. Will also fund my own care in retirement and go into paid care when I am retired as I dont trust H to look past his wood even at 80 to look out for someone else having a heart attack or collapsing. I will love my GC when they come if I am still around, I will stay on mumsnet and read EachandEveryone's threads meanwhile and other threads by Brilliant brave funny MNers. I have a plan. A good one.