To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

I agree with you that this was the wrong time to have sex.

There is no way I would have sex knowing that my teenage DD could walk in.

But your reaction seems quite extreme - like you feel he was doing it purposely and that is quite shocking.

You’re either being OTT or you genuinely think that your DH is some pervert that gets off on his DDs hearing or seeing their parents have sex.

I'm sorry, I disagree with most of the responses. It's disrespectful to the children - do they want to hear their parents having sex? No. So why can't that be thought of and taken into consideration? Would we all be happy to hear our older teens having sex in their bedrooms if we were around ? (I know I wouldn't). The OP said she was happy to have sex when they were out the door. And also, the OP had a routine of helping the kids in the morning get sorted for school. Was the DH not aware of that? He would have been, so he should have thought of that too. The problem is he wakes up with his erection and oh my goodness the whole world has to stop so that that can be catered to. 100% agree with the OP. Wouldn't call it a 'fetish' but it's still weird not to care about these things.

Expect sex puts a different tone on it.

I’d be completely turned off by the idea that my kids could guess I was having sex but that’s just me personally.

No. Querying why she implied that her DH had a fetish for trying to initiate morning sex with his DW while they were both in the same bed. That’s a perfectly normal occurrence

You can refuse it for any reason and it’s not unreasonable.

If OP's in an abusive relationship then that's vital context which needs to be given, ideally within the slightly nuanced setting of the Relationships board and certainly not on AIBU.

Empathetic - thinking through the situation - preferring to jump to the OP is being wrong and silly rather than thinking about why she might not want to have sex within earshot of her teens when she has early morning routine to follow and would be happy to engage in a couple of hours.

Sorry for not being psychic

This is why doors are lockable

I think this is where people in normal relationships don't understand the reality of abusive ones.

OP clearly didn't feel she could just brush this off. She said that she'd said she'd be happy to join in once the kids were off to school.

She feels like this in a marriage that has teenaged kids. How does he not realise this by now? Why does he think so little of her needs that he's making this request rather than wait a couple of hours when he knows she'd be receptive?

I agree with this. I've been single for a long time and so I'm probably not the best person to comment but my kids come in and out of my room in the morning if they want to and I wouldn't want to be fooling around if they were likely to hear, I couldn't enjoy it.

And should add it was me that initiated...

So what’s the background that changes the entire story?

If you don't want to o do it the obviously it's unreasonable. Having sex in the morning when the rest of the house is waking is absolutely fine though. We did this morning same scenario. Not sure what the problem is. Kids are old enough not to come in ( certainly not without knocking and waiting for a response) and we kept it quiet 🤐....

Maybe a thoughtless one but not an act of dominance or whatever. He just wanted a ride why take it so personally

Trying it on at the time when he knows she has to get up to start the day is not a neutral act.

@TMFF it's one you really need the background to, to understand. In a normal living relationship it would be fine.

@NobodysGirl

And this is exactly why a thread 'in isolation' is utterly pointless when you're in a shit relationship.

your relationship isn't good, people will be answering from their own relationship situation.

i wouldn't have sex with your DH at anytime,
.